


taste of love in a simple way - violentine

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Parents, Bisexual Disaster Clementine (Walking Dead), Dark Past, F/F, Family Fluff, Lesbian Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Louis & Violet Friendship (Walking Dead: Done Running), Married Couple, Miscarriage, Older Clementine (Walking Dead), Past Abuse, Past Minerva/Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Past Relationship(s), Past Torture, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 82,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21705151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Violet and Clementine's life is a little on the sad side, but they manage. Clementine works two jobs to try and support their plans to start a family, this is a story about how they do that I guess
Relationships: Clementine & Violet (Walking Dead: Done Running), Clementine and Violet - Relationship
Comments: 79
Kudos: 160





	1. once, i never could've hoped to win.

It was Christmas Eve and snow was falling, lightly, but still falling. Some might argue, it was one of the best, if not the best, nights of the year. Christmas Time, where you sit around your fireplace and laze about, snuggled beneath blankets, watching some shitty Christmas movie with your family. Just waiting for the morning, to see the bright, wide eyed smiles on the children's faces. Regardless of whether or not you have children, it's still a pretty great time of year.

But for Violet, as she walked from the spot where her car had broken down to her small home she shared with her wife, it didn't feel magical. It certainly didn't feel like the best night of the year, either. She'd had to work all day, dealing with people who were unhappy about their plans not being ready for Christmas or whatever bullshit they spewed. Violet kinda just stopped listening after a while.

Truthfully, she didn't care all that much for Christmas. It was just stressful. She enjoyed the peace it provided her and her wife as they both knew that the chances of their families inviting them over were slim to none, but it didn't matter. Over the past seven years, they'd managed to build their own family together.

Violet, Clem, and their pet fish, Buster.

Buster was their pride and joy, despite Violet's repeated protest to even getting him. He wasn't talkative at all, nor was he the best of company, but… hey, he, uh… he existed?

Buster was an alright guy.

But that didn't change the couple's true feelings towards growing their family.

Something that they had repeatedly tried to do. Something they so desperately wanted, something they were certain they'd never get over if they were to inevitably give up on it one day, which is why Violet took the Christmas Eve shift. In the hopes of earning just enough to keep going a little while longer with their plans.

Because financially, they were done. Despite wanting to keep going, they couldn't. It just wasn't possible..

That was the main cause for the tears slipping down the blonde's cheeks, the ones she wiped away as she approached the driveway.  
She knew that if she walked in and her wife wasn't holding up a positive pregnancy test, it was over.

And so she clutched onto the little hope she had and gripped the doorknob, twisting it and walking in, she dropped her briefcase by the door as she started to take off her wet, snow covered clothes.

"Where's the car?" Her wife questioned worriedly as she approached her, a warm blanket already in her hand for the blonde. Violet threw her clothes into the hamper, now standing clad in her panties and tanktop, she allowed the brunette to wrap the soft blanket around her before she kissed her lips and took a seat on the sofa, right in front of the fire, shivering.

"Broke down," Violet replied through clattering teeth, hugging the blanket closer as Clementine closed over the fridge and approached her wife with her dinner in hand, she put it on the armrest.  
"Thanks."

"No problem," she beamed, kissing her forehead before sitting beside her, playing with her hair.  
"How was work?"

"Shit but I saw a rat on the way home."

"Yay, rats!"

"Yay, rats!" She chuckled, blowing on to the warm, freshly microwaved food as her wife continued to tusle her locks.  
"I'll call the garage. It broke down near Louis's house, I called him to see if he could give me a ride home but he and Sophie flew out to some place warm for Christmas. He said he'd have somebody make sure nobody messes with it."

"Why would they want to mess with it? It's falling apart."

"Yeah, true. But we can't afford a new one, not yet, I'm trying,"

"You don't have to." She stated, moving closer to her wife to cup her cheeks. "I'm happy with what we got."

Violet smiled before Clementine pressed a kiss to her nose and stood up from the seat, going to get a glass of water.  
"Test is in the bathroom."

"Did you take it?"

"I did but I haven't looked."

"Okay, that's good," she let out a shaky breath, "What if it's negative?"

"We try again."

"We can't afford to," she bit her nails anxiously, suddenly not wanting her food anymore as she put it on the coffee table.  
"This is our eleventh try."

"It worked last time," she replied, taking a sip of her water before she walked over and took the plate from the table.

"I know…" Violet said as her mind filled with flashbacks and unhappy thoughts as to what had happened last time.  
"But…"

"Even if we can't afford it now, we'll be able to in the future. My boss is going to give me a promotion, even if I have to sleep with him,"

"You're not sleeping with your boss!" Violet scolded, making her wife giggle.  
"Alright. Let's go have a look."

Clementine stood over the sofa, her hand held out for Violet. The blonde looked up at her, overcome with fear and worry, but she just smiled back with a reassuring gaze. Violet took her hand and allowed herself to be pulled up as they walked towards the bathroom, like children on Christmas morning.

Violet was the one to open the door. Clementine was the one to flip the switch. They waited a few seconds as the old light took a moment to turn on and when it did, their anxieties returned.

"I say we both look at the same time."

"No, one of us might miss it."

"Wait, if it's right, how many weeks would you be?"

"Well we agreed to wait a little before finding out this time because of what happened… seven? Eight?"

"Okay…" she replied, "I'll look?"

"Is that a question or a statement?"

"I'm not sure."

"Okay, go," Clementine said, slowly nudging her wife forward. "I'll give you a kiss if you look at it first."

"Okay," she replied, leaning over it in the sink. She took a few seconds, narrowing her eyes at it before turning to look at her nervous wife.

"It's negative."

"Oh." She replied, smile falling but immediately being brought back up, "That's okay! We can try again. I'll get rid of it, here," she held out her hand for the test.

The blonde, heartbroken, reached in and gave it to her wife, watching as she examined it herself.  
"I'm sorry, Cl-"

"Oh my god! No, you idiot! Two means positive!"

"What???"

"We're having a baby!"

"No, we're not!"

"Yes, we are!"

"No!" She exclaimed before grabbing the test from her wife and examining it closely herself, grumbling grumpily.  
"I - I can't see, it's all fuzzy!"

"Love, you're not wearing your glasses. Did you forget them at work?" 

"They're in the cabinet, never took them to work. I took them off when I was brushing my teeth, you know how I am," she said, listening as Clementine opened the small cabinet and took found her wife's glasses, passing them to her. Violet slipped them on and very carefully examined the test.

"It's still fuzzy."

"That's because you're crying."

"I'm not crying."

"You are crying," she chuckled, wrapping her arms around the blonde's form and squeezing tightly. "How do you feel?"

"I still can't see it!"

"You can! You're just in denial!" She chuckled, taking the test from her wife and sighing happily wiping a stray tear from her face.  
"Yeah, it's definitely there. Wow. We're gonna have a baby, a mini you. This is insane."

"We're insane," she corrected as her panic began to set in, "I, I mean, what are we thinking? We don't have enough money for this sort of thing, the cabinets are falling apart as it is, we don't make more than three hundred a week, if we're even lucky! We spend so much money on groceries, the freaking fish, any money we did make, we put towards having a baby, now you're pregnant and we literally cannot afford anything for a baby! We should have planned ahea-"

The brunette cut her wife off with a kiss, cupping her cheeks as she did so. She smiled as she pulled away, brushing her skin with her thumbs.  
"Listen to me."

"I'm listening."

"We've been saving up money, okay? I have about four thousand in the bank from Lee. He wants me to have it. He's the only person in my family who still contacts me, and he told me specifically that he wants me and you to have it. That could cover our cost of refurnishing the utility slash office room into a nursery."

"But, but, groceries! And adult stuff! Bills! Taxes! We want to add an extension to the house, it's tiny! We need a new car," she gasped, "oh Clem, we're gonna need a car seat, we have to get a new car if we're having a baby, we can't use that shitty one! We need to do so much and we only have like, what?? Nine months? Oh my GOD-"

"Violet, Violet, you're getting ahead of yourself," she said, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Let's just… look at the bigger picture. We've wanted this for years, hey! It's finally happening!" The brunette leaned up and kissed her forehead.  
"I love you. I seriously, seriously love you. I cannot wait to have another overly anxious, small, little blonde head in our home."

"We have no idea how to be parents. We killed Buster the first and Buster the second. Now we're on Buster the third. Clem, we can't even take care of a fish!"

"That's why we have parenting books! Like Mom's by the woman who wears a hat similar to mine, and uhhh, the other one... what's it called?"

"The one where the teacher falls in love with the students mom figure? How is that a parenting book?? THAT'S GLORIFIED FANFICTION, CLEMENTINE!"

"Okay! Calm down! Let's just focus on the good things. We have a house, we have a spare room, perfect for a baby. We have baby. We have room. We have family. We have happy life in happy home, yeah?"

"Our tiny ass home…"

"We'll get it all ready before it happens," she beamed, "Don't worry. There's always a plan." She stated as she took hold of her wife's hand and lead her to their bedroom, flicking off the switch on the way.

The girls were extremely particular and careful with their lights, preferring to use candles most of the time to keep their money to themselves. Though Violet had decided that if they were ever to actually get as far as having their own little being in the house, candles wouldn't be the safest option.

Clementine plopped back on the bed, pulling her wife down on top of her and connecting their lips.  
"You're still cold."

"I know I am. Warm me up," Violet giggled, snuggling her nose into the brunette's cheek as she fitted to lay against her torso, slotting perfectly beside her.  
"This is the best Christmas of my life."

"What about last year? I bought you chicken nuggets!"

"Oh yeah!" She exclaimed, pressing a kiss to her wife's cheek. "I like nuggets. I never had them before you got them for me and now I love them. That was my favorite present when it happened but now I'm way more happy. I don't want anything else from you ever again. This is your birthday, anniversary and Christmas present to me for the rest of our lives."

"Wow, I got off easy," she chuckled softly as the silence began to fill the room, both women tired yet ecstatic with their new found information.  
"Are you nervous yet?"

"No, it's not set in."

"I'm gonna have to change my diet. Call my boss. He won't be happy."

"You're his best worker," she reached up her thumb, brushing against her soft skin. "If he fires you, he's losing the best barista in the country. Nobody makes a mocha like you."

"You're just saying that."

"I have never lied to you a day in my life." She said, sitting up slightly and booping her on her nose.  
"Not once. You are the most talented woman ever and I thought that before I even met you."

"You did, hm?"

"I did."

"And how did you think this if you never met me?"

"Well..." Violet thought long and hard about this question, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration before she replied. "Telepathy."

"Telepathy." Clementine giggled, kissing her forehead. "Sure."

"It's true! All lesbians have telepathy. I can tell what you're thinking riiiiight now."

"What am I thinking?"

Violet leaned closer to her, narrowing her eyes and smiling.  
"You're thinking about getting into bed and falling into a deep sleep beside me and waking me up in the morning so we can go for a walk and eat cereal together in the snow."

Clementine's lips pursed into a smile.  
"Yeah, it's a date. A taste of love in a simple way."


	2. faith in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine and Violet spend their Christmas trying to keep themselves calm with the news of their new baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I'm sorry this sucks, I was really not planning on continuing the story lol, but people liked it, kinda? So I'll continue, I guess... Also, in the last chapter there was a part about parenting books and I realize that it may not have made sense on here, so here's an explanation!
> 
> \- it was a reference to my friend pyroandrea (who I have a book with go read it ladies and gents), so I'm sorry! I should've explained it better, haha!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this! Please comment, if there's anything you would like me to add, please please please tell me, I absolutely love suggestions annnnnd feedback keeps my going!
> 
> Thanks 
> 
> bye

The morning was crisp and cool in the bay. The fishermen had brought back their early morning catches before their husbands and wive's noticed they were missing, and were now all rushing him to see their kids open their presents on Christmas morning. What a cheerful existence, the blonde thought as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, her body still wrapped in warm, soft blankets from the night before. Rolling over in the bed and groaning, Violet wrapped her weakly arms around the brunette's form and nuzzled her nose into the crook of her neck, able to see her phone from over her shoulder.

Clementine was scrolling through some social media app, and all of her suggestions were completely plastered in mom stuff, as far as Violet could see. Beautiful, aesthetic looking nursery's with pink and white themes, flowers and such, the perfect room to bring a soft, small newborn into. Gender reveals, pregnancy announcements, advice and everything that she suspected her wife would be in to.

Cute.

Violet lifted her head slightly before she spoke, her warm breath hitting her wife's neck and making her shiver, she whispered in her husky, morning voice, "You're on your phone."

"Good morning to you, too, baby. Merry Christmas."

"Get off your phone," Violet whined raspily, ignoring her wife's greeting and reaching out to push her phone away.  
"Give me attention." She insisted, digging in deeper and burying her face in her neck, taking in deep inhales as her nose pressed to the brunette's skin. "I want you to give me a kiss. I'm cold "

Clementine giggled at the tickling sensation on her neck and put her phone on the small bedside locker, the edges of it chipped from whoever owned it before them, before turning in the bed and enclosing her wife in a hug, arms rubbing up and down the blonde's hips as she looked into her bright green, tired eyes.  
"Did you sleep well my absolute darling?"

"Yeah..." Violet replied with a suspicious tone in her voice.

Since when was she… "darling"?

"Good." Clementine smiled, resting her hands on her wife's hips and rubbing the sharp pelvic bone that poked out of Violet's shorts anxiously, "Cause I have really bad news."

"Oh no," Violet closed her eyes and exhaled, preparing for said news. This was a usual thing, sort of. The last time she had heard those words was when Clementine had called her at work to inform her that she'd lost her job. She bit her tongue anxiously and cringed as she spoke, "What is it?" 

"I went to the bathroom this morning," she began, anxiously stroking the blonde's hip bone as she spoke, attempting to keep her calm.

Violet's heart sunk. "Is it the baby?" She asked, her voice clear but wavering as she spoke. It was her worst nightmare. She didn't want to go through that, she didn't want her wife to go through it either.

After everything they'd been through, they needed this.

"No." Clementine said sternly, looking at her wife's face with a serious expression until Violet opened her eyes. She removed her hands from her hips and cupped her cheeks, pressing a comforting kiss to her nose.  
"Our baby is fine. I just knocked the cabinet off it's hinges and it fell down. I'm surprised you didn't hear it, I thought you might've… but you're a heavy sleeper, I-I suppose…"

Violet let go of a breath she didn't even realize she was holding and chuckled relievedly, letting a tear slip from her eye.  
"Thank God, you… you had me so, so worried…"

"I'm sorry," she apologized, rubbing away her wife's tears before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I should've known not to be so cryptic. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she replied, calming down as best as she could. Once all her tears were gone, she spoke again.  
"So, the cabinet fell. That's all?"

"Yeah, it fell and, um," she bit her lip, averting her eyes from her already rattled wife, "Buster's tank was right under it."

"Oh..." She trailed off, "there goes Buster the third." She said as she snuggled her head into the girls chest, smiling as Clementine began to comb through her hair with a sorrowful look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Violet."

"I shouldn't have left his tank under it, I knew it wasn't safe. He's in a better place now. Fishie heaven with all his friends."

"I'm sorry. I cleaned everything up. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, would you listen to me? It's not your fault," she whispered, looking up at her face as her fingers started tracing shapes on her wife's chest . "I think we should buy a closet for the bathroom anyway, or something like that. A small little, um, what's it called?"

"Cabinet. One for the floor," she chuckled, "Yeah, good idea." She nodded and lay back into the soft sheets, feeling them beneath her palms as she inhaled.  
"I'm so happy I got that pay rise so we could get a nice bed. Even if we don't have other things, this bed makes me feel like I could conquer the world."

"Mhm..." She yawned, "I want to feel you." She took her hand away from Clementine's chest and began wiggling her way up closer to her, smiling to herself as she reached her hand out and began to trace her face with her finger, humming to herself as she did so.  
"Everything about you is pretty. You're so pretty. I don't even have to see you to know that you're beautiful."

"So are you," she replied, rubbing Violet's cheek with her thumb before leaning in to capture her lips, the blonde making a quiet moan into the kiss before she pulled away.  
"Somebody's eager."

"Leave me aloooone!" She blushed, "This is the first time we've had a chance to lay in bed together in weeks. Hopefully I'll get that promotion when I go back to work, I'll have Sundays, Saturdays and Wednesdays off. Enough time to lay in bed and cuddle my adorable wife," Violet exclaimed before unwrapping her arms and rolling on her back, looking up at the ceiling.

"Shit."

"What?"

"I was supposed to make you pancakes. I always make you pancakes for Christmas. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We can make them together. For dinner."

"That's not very healthy," Violet chortled, unaware of the brunette's mezmerised gaze on her. There was almost nothing Clementine loved than her wife being caught off guard. Violet was always beautiful, but when she got caught up in her own little crazy mind, she seemed to gain more beauty.

"But it's our tradition," she smiled at her, the comment making the blonde turn her head slightly to look at her. God, her smile made everything better. Nothing ever seemed wrong when Violet looked at that smile. It was a wonder how they'd been through so much together, Clementine being the one still able to function, and Violet being the one constantly questioning everything. They leveled each other out. But it still was a wonder to Violet how her wife was so strong after everything she'd been through.

Her family disowning her when she told them that they were engaged. She remembers how she had to hold her in the bathtub and let her sob for hours on end. She remembers asking Clementine if she wanted to call the engagement off because of that, and she remembers her response. That was when Violet knew her wife was forever.

She remembers the crestfallen expression she wore for nearly three whole weeks when their first try at getting pregnant didn't work. Violet wondered, at the time, if it'd tear them apart. Clementine seemed so distant for the first few weeks, hardly speaking. She'd go to work, come home, barely ate and then she'd go to bed.

And Violet remembers when Clementine admitted how she was feeling during that time period. How she felt like it was her fault, how she believed that she was slowing them down and more bullshit like that. Violet didn't believe it, not one bit.

Her wife was in no way a failure, ever.

She complied, "Alright, tradition it is. Do you still want cereal?" She asked as she sat up on the side of the bed, tiredly rubbing her eyes before the brunette sat up behind her and put both her hands on the back of her shoulders, kneading the nape of her neck and all around the area.  
Violet sighed with pleasure.  
"Thanks." She said, unwarranted.

"Your back always hurts. It's because you slouch so much," she stated, leaning closer to kiss behind her ear, "I wish you'd stop slouching, you could seriously hurt yourself."

"Okay, mom," Violet laughed, "Do you want cereal or not?"

"Yes, I want cereal. Do you want cereal?"

"I want cereal."

"Then let's make some cereal," she giggled, wrapping her arms tightly around the blonde's waist and setting them there for a moment. Violet placed both her hands on the brunette's arms and closed her eyes, enjoying the embrace.

"You need to call the doctor's."

"I don't think anyone will be working today, Vi."

"They're doctors. They have to work. People die if they don't."

"Mhm," she hummed, kissing behind her ear again before lazily nuzzling her nose into her neck.  
"Has it settled in yet? That we're gonna be moms? That we're gonna have a mini you with an attitude? That we're going to have a baby? Like, a human? Our own little baby?"

"No." She answered honestly, pursing her lips and looking off in the distance, caught up in her thoughts. She was being honest, it didn't feel real yet. Maybe their appointment would help seal it but, right now? Right now, it wasn't real. It was only words.  
"I hope to fuck they don't have my attitude. That's not fair on you. Maybe the baby will be calm and sweet and uplifting like you."

"You say that like as if I wasn't nearly arrested that one time."

"One time," Violet replied, her wife releasing her from her grip before she stood up, outstretching her hand for her wife. "But you weren't arrested. I saved you. And anyway, any man who touches my wife deserves to have his teeth knocked out. You did the right thing. I still saved you, though."

"Yeah, you always do," she took her hand and allowed herself to be pulled up, Violet immediately pulling her into a dance position, hands connected around her neck and the brunette's on her waist.

Another Christmas tradition. A dance.

"You're gonna have to change diapers," the honey eyed girl dreamed, looking up at the ceiling in bliss as her wife slowly took the lead. "Cuddles with a small little baby. I've always wanted to do that. Wrapped up in a cute little blanket… and they'll look just like you, just like the baby pictures we have of you. I can't believe how lucky I am."

"Has it hit you yet? What you're gonna have to do?" The green-eyed woman questioned her, watching the brunette's expression fault for a moment in fear.  
"I'm sorry. You know I would've done this for you if I could. But if I got pregnant, my boss wouldn't be happy at all."

"I know. Knowing that you would've done this for me, that's what makes it so easy to do this for you. I know that this is our decision. I'm happy to do this for us." She smiled at her again as they very slowly moved around the room, Violet then laying her head on her wife's shoulder   
"Honestly, I dreamt of baby cribs and bottles all night. I'm already obsessed."

"I hope they weren't expensive cribs and bottles..." The blonde said as Clementine began to play with her hair, continuing the move around the room with her.

"Nope. They were cheap. Nothing's wrong with being cheap," she said, kissing her temple. "I don't care, Vi, really, I don't. Our baby will have everything they need. That's for sure. That's all I need to know. Once we have the basics, decorating can wait. Okay?"

"I just want everything to be perfect for you and the baby." She whispered, "This could be our only chance at this. I don't want anything to be left alone. We need this."

"I know we do," she smiled, pulling away from the blonde and looking over every one of her features, admiring how her bottom lip tucked beneath her top, how her hair fell loosely over her eyes, how she looked nervous, like a kid about to admit their crush on somebody. She smiled. Her wife had always been shy.  
"Let's go make some cereal. I'm hungry."

"Okay," Violet replied and before long, she watched her wife practically bounced out of the room, assuming she was going to make cereal, she followed.

As Violet reached the main part of the house, the kitchen, dining room and living room combined, she was halted in her tracks.  
"No! Wait, go out, don't come in yet, I'm getting your present ready!" Clementine scolded as she pushed her wife back into the bedroom, a hand on her chest.  
"Don't spoil it."

"Clem," Violet huffed, crossing her arms as her wife left to tend to her present, "We said we weren't buying presents this year! How much did that cost?"

"Not much, I promise," she smiled to herself as she started to pull the gift out of the plastic bag, shielding it with her hands despite the fact it was wrapped. She stood up and turned around, eyeing the doorway where the blonde stood with her arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

"If that cost more than twenty dollars, you're returning it."

"I promise it didn't."

"Alright. What is it?"

"You have to open it, silly," she said as she passed it to the blonde, along with a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to get us some cereal."

"Hmm," she hummed as she began to unwrap the present. It was nearly wrapped, nothing special about it, but the wrapper paper is what Violet eyed. It was white with colorful polka dots on it, so she tried not to tear it. Maybe it could be useful for decorating the baby's room?

"Sugary cereal or healthy cereal?" Clementine asked as she reached up to get the box from the cabinet, a small stool supporting her height. Violet smirked at it. Although they were both quite small, Violet would never degrade herself and use a stool. But Clementine, she had no shame, and that was one of the best parts.

"Do I look like I'm on a diet? Give me the sugariest shit there is," she chuckled as she finally peeled back the wrapping, barely any of it torn, she carefully placed it on the shelf beside the door to their room and focused on her gift, looking at the item in her hand with glossy eyes.  
"Oh my god. How'd you do this?"

"Well, I bought a plain white candle," Clementine began, not even turning around as she continued on their breakfast, "Before you came home last night, I melted some of our colored candles. The ones from our wedding, the orange and purple ones. I carved out the wording before you got back, then I woke up early this morning, remelted the colored candle wax and very carefully poured it into the wording. And then, it became what you're holding."

Violet very carefully studied the candle, turning it around in her hand. It spelled out the date, with their initials carved in. Violet's in orange and Clementine's in purple. She smiled at the gesture and walked over to the table where the TV stood, placing it down on it. That's when she noticed something else on it.

"You put our wedding date on it."

"I did. It's special."

She took a step back, feeling arms wrap around her as they proudly looked at their display of candles. Lavender, citrus, cinnamon, and now, vanilla. They were slowly getting more and more each year.  
"Are you ready for our favorite part of Christmas?" Clementine asked in reference to one of their other traditions.

Every year on Christmas day, Clementine and Violet would ditch the lights, opting to use candles instead.   
The reason for it? It's simple.

On their first Christmas spent together in Violet's small apartment, there was a power outage. The girls hadn't been together all too long, but that night had ultimately sealed it for them, as they were forced to converse and bask in each other's company, using candles to light their way. Now it was one of their most important traditions, and they hoped it would be long after their baby was born.

"Yep," she beamed as her wife pressed a soft kiss to her neck before Violet collapsed on the couch, worn and ragged beneath her, Clementine then returning with the bowls of cereal. She flicked on the TV and they began sifting through Christmas movies, feasting on their favorite meal they shared as a couple.

"What movie do you wanna watch, Vi?"

"I don't know..." She frowned, looking at the empty space beside the TV where the fish tank would normally have been. If only it'd been there last night, she thought, "poor Buster. He's had a bad christmas."

Clementine blushed, hiding her face. "I'm sorry I killed our fish."

Violet tried not to giggle as her wife covered her face with her hand, "You're a murderer."

"Well, you didn't report me, so you're an accomplice. I'm taking you down with me." She said, shovelling the rest of her cereal down her throat like an animal, leaving her wife staring at her and blinking profusely.  
"What?"

"You're icky."

"Shush."

"You need a bath."

"You're smelly, too." She replied, "When you're done eating, we're gonna take a bath.".

"That's so gay."

"You're so right, it's almost as if we're a married, gay couple."

"Bleh," Violet said, making her wife giggle as she stood up and brought her bowl to the sink.  
"Those stupid lesbians and their stupid lesbian ways. What happened to the traditional marriage, huh?"

"You sound like your dad."

"Anything but the gays!" She said, making her voice high pitched and wobbly as she mocked it.  
"God. Imagine having a life so sad that you feel the need to commentate on others." She rolled her eyes before bringing her bowl to her lips and drinking the rest of her cereal.

When Violet lowered the bowl, her wife was standing right in front of her, arms crossed. She looked up at her for a few seconds, eyes wide, Violet wore the expression she usually wore when she knew she had done something wrong. A few moments of silence, followed by a burp, followed by Violet trying not to laugh at herself.

Clementine narrowed her eyes.  
"You have no manners."

"I do have manners."

"You so do not."

"I do, but they're only for special occasions."

Her face softened and she smiled mischievously, "Smelly."

"Dummy." She replied, licking her bowl clean, "at least I don't eat like an animal. You eat as if you haven't had a meal in years. You eat good, Clem, I make sure of it."

"I'm pregnant. I can eat however I want. I have a baby in me so HAH!"

"You can't use that as an excuse!" Violet said, pointing as her wife as if she had committed a crime, "You can't use that as an excuse! It's too early to use that as an excuse you smelly woman!"

"Um excuse me, how's it too early?" She repeated, rubbing her hand over her stomach, she pinned her shirt back with one hand and continued her massage.  
"You see that bump?"

"No."

"It's right there!" She insisted, "Look at it! That's your baby, be proud!"

"That's coco pops. Because you ate them. And now they're in your belly."

"Whatever," she replied, unpinning her shirt and rolling her eyes , "I'm going to pee."

"Okay," Violet said, putting her bowl on the table and standing up.  
"I'm ready."

"What?"

"To go with you to the bathroom."

"No," she said, pushing her out of the way, she began to walk towards the bathroom when Violet wrapped her arms around her torso, holding her back and frowning as she rubbed her stomach.

"I'm sorry my wifey I see your bump, I'm sorry,"

"Violet, I have to pee, let me go,"

"My wife's leaving me!"

"Viiii!" She groaned at her wife's playfulness. This happened often, Violet liked to follow Clementine around and cling from her, especially when she knew she had to do something. Clementine often compared her to a cat for always seeking attention, but that didn't stop it. "I have to piss,"

"Why can't I come with you?"

"You're like a toddler, go awaaaay!" She whined, trying to untangle her wife's arms from her body.  
"I will pee right here."

"You promised me we'd do everything together. You always say that we'll do everything together."

"Pissing was not on the list in my vows, dumbass," She chuckled, finally breaking free of her wife's grasp.  
"Hah! Fuck you, noodle arms."

Violet furrowed her eyebrows, crossing her arms and pouting like a child. "Whatever, you're smelly anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Violet's arms looped around her wife's form in the bath, lighting draping the water over her skin as she hummed. It was a nice break from the cold weather. She snuggled her cheek against the top of Clementine's head and hummed to her before kissing it, continuing to cover her body in water as to not let her go cold. She listened closely to the sounds of soft breaths emitting from her wife and beamed, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

"Wow, you're nearly asleep," she chuckled as she realized her wife had her eyes closed. Clementine giggled, not opening her eyes.

"I'm relaxed."

"That's good." She replied, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." She hummed in response. "While we're in a good mind space, I want to discuss something with you. I've been thinking about getting another job."

"Oh, no. No, absolutely not." Violet stated in a strict voice, running her hands across her wife's chest and smearing her with water, "You're working two jobs already. You're pregnant. I barely see you as it is. Just think about when the baby comes. How do you handle three jobs then?"

"Not forever, obviously. I was just thinking... when the baby's here, we'll lose a lot of money. I'll have to get my hours changed around. We'll be spending more than we usually do. It'd be good to save up while we can."

"Clem, you," Violet stopped, letting out a stressed sigh, "You work four to six hour shifts, then you come home for an hour, then you go to the fucking bakery and work another four hours."

"I know but, even if it's just... I don't know, selling stuff? Selling on the market down at the bay?"

"Are you kidding me?" She repeated, "Fish makes you feel sick as it is. Do you really think that being pregnant is gonna help with that? I don't think customers would like it if you hurled all over them. Would they?" She questioned rhetorically before resting her chin on her wife's shoulder.  
"I know you're worried, I am, too. But I need to take care of you now. And we both need to take care of the baby. If you're really worried, I can get a second job, I don't mind. Just please, don't put yourself or the baby at risk, I'm begging you. You guys are all I've got."

"No," she said with furrowed brows, reaching her hand behind her neck to touch Violet's face. "I'm not that desperate, I don't want you to get stressed or sick from exhaustion again." She said before accidentally slapping her wife in the face.

"Ouchie."

"Did I hit you?"

"Mhm," She replied, pouting, "You gave me a booboo. You need to kiss it better."

"Pity about you," Clementine replied before playfully tapping her again, "That's what you get for slurping your cereal."

"Could've been slurping something else."

"Violet!" She scolded, making her wife snicker. "Grow up... you're so immature. You haven't changed at all in the seven years we've been together, you know that?"

"I don't want to change. That's boring. You didn't fall in love with somebody else, did you?" She said as she took Clementine's hand and kissed the back of it, listening as the water swayed at the movement. "No, you fell in love with a lower class, ill mannered, immature girl like me."

"And I'm still in love with you now."

"Aww," Violet smiled as she pressed a kiss to her neck, "Such a romantic girl, aren't you, my little fish murderer?" She said as she cocked an eyebrow over to where the cabinet used to be.

Clementine blushed again and settled back into Violet more, her body pressed up against hers in a relaxing embrace. The way Christmas always had been for them.

Until Violet decided to press more kisses to her neck and eventually force her brunette wife to blush profusely.

"Vi,"

"Yeah?"

"More, please." She asked, and her wife complied, laying down soft and gentle kisses against her neck for the next few moments before both of her hands connected around her wife's stomach, holding their places there sternly. The brunette looked at them and smiled.

"Protective mom, are you?"

"Maybe," she replied, "You know what, you're right. You're definitely forming something there. And it's not just coco pops."

"I'm glad I have your approval," Clementine voiced before relaxing again, "I love you so much you big stupid girl."

"I love you too, my beautiful little murderer."

~~~~~~~~~

"We need dough," Violet said as she read it off of the pack, "No, Clem. It's twenty spoonfuls of sugar, I'm telling you."

"Violet, how many times? It's not twenty spoonfuls of sugar!" She rolled her eyes as she grabbed the packet from her wife. "That's two spoonfuls."

"It's twenty."

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, putting the packet down. "I know what I'm doing, I make cookies all the time."

"Okay but these aren't just any cookies." Violet cut in, pointing to the bag of m&m's on the counter. "These are supreme cookies. These are our family tradition, anyone can make a cookie, but can they make a sugar special?"

Clementine sighed, "I always wonder how your teeth haven't fallen out by now. You eat so much sugar, it's a wonder how you're so small and lanky, still."

Violet put a hand over her chest and opened her mouth wide.  
"You're so rude."

"It's a compliment!" She swore, "God, this shit stinks." She then added in reference to the cookie dough that was smeared all over her apron.

Violet blinked and suspiciously came closer, not wanting to be too invasive, "are youuu... feeling... sick?"

"No?"

"Welllll... okay..." Violet narrowed her eyes.

"What's up with you?"

"You're pregnant."

"Yeah, I am, so?"

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable or feel bad. I want to keep on top of things." She declared.

The brunette smiled. "Thank you, I'm okay, I'll tell you if anything's wrong. I swear on Buster's grave."

"Cruel," Violet said before looking at the dough as her wife kneaded it, "How many cookies can we make?"

"As many as you want." The cap wearing woman replied, "But we won't be able to get any more ingredients for a while, so do you really wanna use it all up?"

"Mmmm... Okay," she huffed, "M&M's, two cookies. Marshmallows, two cookies. Chocolate chips, two cookies... annnnnd... more M&Ms in the last two."

Clementine let out a sigh. "Okay. Don't blame me when you can't put your pants on."

"Yay?"

~~~~~~~~

The day had gone pretty fast, with the girls deciding it was too cold to go for their yearly walks, they had decided to curl up on the sofa and watch some movies, six out of the eight cookies and gone to Violet and poor Clem was left with only two. But she didn't mind, and all Violet really wanted was to relax with her wife.

But it seemed as though Clementine had other plans, as she lay her head on Violet's shoulder lazily letting her eyes droop close and her mouth open.

"Still with me?" The blonde would question, lightly nudging her shoulder. Clementine would nod and open her eyes before they dropped closed again. This was a repeated cycle.

And now for the fifth time, Violet had enough.

"Babe,"

"Mhm...?"

"I think you should go to sleep, what do you think?"

"No, it's, just... getting to the good part," she yawned, wrapping her arm around Violet's bicep and laying against it. It only took a few seconds for her soft snores to echo through the room, but Violet didn't want to move her just yet.

So she sat and watched the rest of the film with her poor, overworked wife finally at rest on her shoulder and she couldn't have been happier.

~~~~~~~~

It was nearing two in the morning and Violet still couldn't sleep. She'd tried absolutely everything, but always found herself coming back to the same solution, to wrap herself around her wife's body and breathed in her scent, hoping it'd soothe her enough to sleep, but nothing ever worked.

She huffed and rolled over, trying to figure out if she could close her eyes and just slowly drift off the old fashioned way, but that didn't work either.

She felt tears in her eyes. She was exhausted. She flipped around again and found herself staring at her wife, who was in a peaceful sleep. Violet smiled, reaching out to cup her wife's cheek, she scooted closer and kissed her cheek.  
"I love you," she whispered softly, her hand trailing down her body to wrap around her and tug her closer before she found herself reminded of the Christmas present she had received in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

She ducked beneath the blankets, not wanting to remove them and have her wife wake up from the cold, she kept her hand pressed to the brunette's stomach as she whispered a very, very faint little speech to it.

"I need to make a promise to you. I promise I'm going to keep your mom safe this time." She began, "she's gonna eat the best food, sleep in the softest and warmest sheets and I swear that there won't be a second during this entire pregnancy that she'll be alone," she added before looking up at her wife to make sure she was still asleep.

"And she's gonna have the best clothes. I'm gonna get her soft shoes and big stretchy clothes to keep you both safe and sound, even if I have to get a second job to keep up with my pampering, I'll do it. Nobody deserves it more than her. I let her down last time and it won't happen again, are we in an agreement?" She questioned, stroking her stomach, "good. Let's keep her safe and happy," the blonde beamed before pressing a kiss to her stomach, no longer beneath the covers, she curled up beside her wife and slipped off into a peaceful sleep at last.

Unbeknownst to her, Clementine had been awake the entire time.

~


	3. we have each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are high on the year anniversary since Vi and Clem lost their first baby and as they wait for their confirmation appointment, pregnancy symptoms are more than obvious for poor Clementine.

A week had gone by since the girls found out about their baby, and it seemed as though the symptoms that had previously been nearly non existent were now turning up.  
Violet stood outside of the bathroom, a blanket between the two of her hands as she listened carefully for her wife. Clementine had been in there a while now, and had insisted on her wife not being there with her, but Violet always made sure to be ready to comfort her when she left the room, and today was no different.

The door opened and the pale brunette slowly padded out, wiping her tears with her sleeves as the blonde unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders.  
"Are you feeling any better?" She questioned as her wife sluggishly walked towards the loveseat, shaking her head.

"No."

"Still feel sick?"

"Mmm..." She hummed, plopping down on the soft seat and laying her head back.

Violet stood awkwardly, examining her wife, clad in her underwear and a large orange hoodie. She frowned before walking over and taking a seat beside her carefully.  
"Is there anything I can get for you?" She questioned, reaching out and taking her hand in her own to massage it. "Some water, maybe? I know you can't have much, but..."

"I can't keep it down," she sighed, sounding more nasally than normal. "I think I've got a cold, too. My head's killing me."

Violet reached up and pressed her palm to her wife's forehead, holding it there for a moment. "You feel cold."

"I am cold."

"Maybe I should take you to the doctor. I don't think it'd be a bad idea, what about you?" She questioned, raking through her locks.

"What time is it?"

"It's nearly six in the morning. Our appointment is at ten."

"Ugh," Clementine groaned and Violet continued to stroke her locks in an attempt to help her calm down.  
"I want to go to bed for an hour. Can I just... please go to sleep? Colds are pretty common this time of year and my stomach doesn't hurt and there's no... no bleeding, so, I don't think we should be worried..."

Violet sighed. Her wife was very persuasive. She continued to stroke her hair for a few minutes before leaning over to kiss her temple, "You go get some rest. I'll be right here."

"No, you need to rest, too."

"Actually, I was planning to go for a jog and get something to eat, okay?"

"No. That's not okay. It's too early for you to go outside, it's dark and cold and wet and I don't like it when you leave me alone," she explained to the blonde, crossing her arms and pouting. "I'm not going to bed, if you're leaving me then I'm just gonna sit here and cry."

"Clem, you're twenty five."

"Violet, you're twenty seven and really good looking, who's to say somebody won't kidnap you?" She questioned her before shifting on the seat and turning around, curling herself into Violet's side.  
"I need to keep you safe. I need you to keep me safe. Please don't go away from me, Violet."

"Sit up a little," Violet ordered her now sniffling wife. The brunette did so, sitting up and leaning back on her heels, watching as the blonde leaned back. Violet opened her arms and gestured for her to come forward, helping her wife to sit on her lap, she wrapped her arms around the brunette and kissed along her neck whilst absentmindedly stroking her stomach.  
"I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Okay," she sniffled, laying her head back into the crook of Violet's neck. "I feel so sick all the time, I really don't feel good, I don't like being pregnant anymore I just wanna hold my baby,"

"I know," she emphasized, closing her eyes and slipping her hand beneath her wife's hoodie to keep her palm pressed to her stomach. "There's nothing I can say that'll make it better. It's just a sucky thing. Maybe it doesn't feel like it now, but there will be good aspects of it. Do you wanna talk about the baby?"

"Yeah..."

"Hey, do you wanna find out if we're having a boy or a girl before the baby's born?"

"No," she answered before pursing her lips and thinking, "Um, maybe? I don't know yet..."

"That's okay. How about names? Are there any you like?"

"I like Mason for a boy," she replied, "Mason Everett. I think that would be a really cute name."

"I love that name, too." Violet smiled, relaxing back and sighing.  
"I think your belly's grown a little in the past week."

"I just feel like I've put on weight. I don't feel pregnant. Just pudgy."

"Shhhh," Violet whispered, pressing a loving kiss to her neck. "You said it yourself, you're pregnant, don't be mean to yourself. The next few months are gonna be hard but so, so worth it."

"I know," she sniffled, turning around on Violet's lap so that she was facing her wife. She leaned down and rested her chin on the blonde's shoulder, allowing Violet to hear her soft and nasally breaths escaping her mouth.  
"Violet?"

"Yeah?"

"I really need some sleep. Really. I'm not even ten weeks pregnant and the baby's already keeping me awake. If I don't get sleep soon I think I'll pass out."

"Okay," She replied, "Let's go get some sleep."

~~~~~~~~

Violet sat by her wife as the nurse set everything up for the examination, whispering to her to try and calm her down. She whispered anything she could, jokes, sweet nothings, etc. She just had to make sure her wife was in a good mood before this.

The brunette grasped her wife's hand tightly as they watched the nurse press the transducer to her belly, she bit her lip, now staring at the screen despite telling herself that she wouldn't...

Violet swallowed nervously before speaking, "Does... Does everything look okay?"

"Everything's fine, I'm just looking for the right spot... Ah! There it is," she smiled at the girls who eagerly clambered to see what was on the screen, Violet almost accidentally letting go of her wife's hand as she craned her neck to have a look.

"A bean!" Violet cheered excitedly, "The baby looks like a little bean!" She giggled, holding her wife's hand close to her lips and kissing the back of it as tears streamed her face. "That little nuggets been causing you so much havoc lately," she told her wife who giggled quietly in response.

"Little indeed," she whispered, squeezing the blonde's hand nervously. "Violet. Look at that teeny tiny little thing… they're ours. That's crazy."

"It really is…"

"So small." She then added before anxiety started to kick in and she looked at the nurse, "What are the risks of miscarriages now? Like... how likely is it?" She asked the nurse, catching her wife off guard. Violet just continued to watch their 'bean' whilst taking her wife's hand to her mouth again and kissing it for reassurance.

"It gets lower every week, three to six weeks it would've been a twenty five percent chance, now it's only a five percent chance, if even." The woman replied as she continued her examining, "But everything looks healthy. Try not to worry too much."

"You can't tell though," The brunette persisted, "You don't know if it's gonna happen or not. You can't predict it. It just happens, doesn't it?"

Violet squeezed her wife's hand and closed her eyes, wishing that she hasn't asked any questions.

The rest of the appointment was somewhat tense and with the dates confirmed and everything looking good, the girls were going home, but not without very strong emotions present.

As Violet began to start up the car, her wife kept her brows furrowed, staring at her hands anxiously before speaking.  
"I'm sorry I ruined it."

"What?"

"I ruined it. You're mad at me because I ruined our first time seeing the baby. It was supposed to be special and I ruined it," she sniffled, looking over at her wife who just stared at the steering wheel in her hands before averting her eyes.

"Hey, you absolutely did not ruin it, okay?" Violet furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her wife with a concerned expression, reaching out her thumb to rub away her tears.  
"Babe, look at me. Listen to me."

"I'm listening," she replied, though her eyes weren't on her. Violet spoke anyway.

"You have every right to be nervous and upset and worried. I can't get mad at you for being scared, I'm scared too," she took her hand in her own and held it tightly. "But we need to think about this in a good way, we need to enjoy this. I don't want this to be full of bad thoughts and feelings, so let's get them out of the way, alright?"

She nodded, still staring ahead before turning to face her wife.  
"I'm sorry, I just... I think we should've talked about everything in detail before we tried again. We never did that..."

"We should." Violet stated, pursing her lips together, "Get it all out, once and for all. Is that a deal?"

"Now??"

"No, not now," She smiled genuinely, leaning over and pecking her forehead. "Right now, we're going to go get you some food for the week. To keep you and little bean good. Okay?"

"Yeah..." She smiled, "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~

Violet pushed the cart as her wife held the edge of it, looking around for whatever they needed and pointing out things on special offer to her wife.  
Clementine loved to do this, she treated it almost like a fun game, but for Violet, she just loved seeing her wife smile. It was a wholesome way of turning their money troubles into something enjoyable.

"Hey, do we need fruit?" Violet questioned her wife, presumably behind her, as she looked around for some bargains.  
"Clem?" She turned around, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before they turned to worry. Her wife was pale, holding onto the cart as if it would save her.

"Are you alright?" She rushed to her side, wrapping an arm around her to keep her up. Violet began to press her palm to her wife's head, checking her temperature. Luckily, Clementine seemed okay in terms of that.

"I'm, fine..." She promised, "I just need a minute."

"Did you get dizzy?"

Clementine groggily shook her head, "No, there's fish... raw fish behind me. And it stinks," She whined, "I hate it here. I hate feeling sick. I want to go home and sleep."

"Okay love, look, we're nearly done. Let's go get out last few items, okay? And get you away from the fish," Violet insisted as she put her hand on her wife's back and began to guide her away all while rubbing it. She grabbed the cart with one hand and began pushing it, making sure her other hand was firm against her wife's back as she lead them to an aisle where there was nobody around.

Violet left the cart for a moment and continued to rub her wife's back, bringing her closer so she could bury her face in her neck for a moment.  
"You're burning up, Clem. This isn't good. I shouldn't have brought you out here, I should've taken you home, I'm sorry,"

"No," she muffled, "It's okay, I love you. Can we finish, now?" She asked, "just get me home, please. Let's finish up and go home."

"Alright, alright, whatever you need," Violet kissed her forehead before parting, ordering her wife to grip the cart as she began pushing it in the new direction.

"Vi?"

"You okay?"

"I have cramps. In my tummy. I don't like it."

"The nurse said they were normal, try not to worry. She had to press really hard with the wand thingy, she said you might be in pain afterwards. If they get bad, tell me," Violet sighed, backing up the cart so she could look at some clothes and make her wife laugh. There was nothing better than Clementine being happy, not to Violet. She had to do something to lighten the mood.  
"Hey, Clem?"

"Mmm?"

Violet grinned, holding up a shiny, very, very, very small tank top that she had pulled from the rack. She shook it around a little and giggled as the sequins danced with her hands movement.  
"It'd look good on you,"

The brunette rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Yeah, you're right. Because my boobs would fit into that."

"I think the idea is that they don't fit. And I can't say I'd mind too much," she grinned, eyeing her wife up and down as the brunette squealed and blushed.

"Stop it. Perv."

"You can't just look that good and expect me to not want you all the time, can you?" Violet asked her, making the girl laugh again.  
"But seriously, who wears this stuff?" Violet asked rhetorically, putting it back on the rack and wiping her hands as if it were dirty.

"Sophie does," Clementine claimed, wrapping an arm around Violet and kissing her cheek before they began walking again at a slower pace.  
"Imagine being like her. She's really got it all, money, she's got a good relationship, she's got her own fashion line, she's got a huge house and she can just skip off whenever she wants to a different country. And she's not even thirty yet. Meanwhile, we have..."

"Each other. A small house. A baby on the way. Love. Appreciation. A family, what else could we need?" Violet asked as she stopped again in the clothing section, abandoning the cart, beginning to sift through clothing racks. Clementine furrowed her eyebrows.

"I thought we said we weren't buying clothes this week, we can't afford them."

"Babe." Violet then said once she had finished sifting through the racks. She turned around, holding the item in her hand. "I had to stop. Look at it." She held it directly in front of her wife's face and watched as she took it in.  
"It's a little onesie. It's got a little sun on it and it's so small, how could you expect me to walk by it?"

A smile broke out on the brunette's face.  
"It's so cute," she smiled, touching the fabric with her fingertips. It wasn't anything special, only a sort of peachy colored looking onesie. But the sheer size of it made it irresistible for Violet to pass by it, and almost Clementine, too.  
"But we can't afford it."

"It doesn't matter, we're getting it." Violet said as she dunked it into the cart, "The baby needs clothes. We need to keep them warm. We need baby clothes."

"Vi, the baby hasn't even got limbs yet. You're getting slightly ahead of yourself." She groaned, "You were the one so worried about money."

"Shush," Violet smiled as they began to walk back to the fridges, "We can slowly stock up on baby stuff." She decided as she took Clementine's hand, the both of them walking in the same direction but the brunette feeling miles away.

"I feel dizzy. Again."

Violet grabbed her hand tightly and held it to her side, making sure she could feel her wife by her. She made sure to walk fast enough so that they'd be done quicker, but slow enough so that her wife's blood pressure didn't completely skyrocket.  
"We just have one more stop to make, think you can do it?"

"Mmm... yeah, I don't... yeah,"

"Okay, I'll be quick," Violet claimed as they continued their short walk to the freezers. Once they got there, she stopped, leaving the cart and going to open the freezers and retrieve the pizza that they always bought, every week.

"Clem? Are you still with me?"

"I'm here," She replied, leaning against the cold, freezer door behind her wife. "Can you be quicker? I feel so warm."

"Done." She snapped up quickly, walking towards the cart and throwing in the pizza.  
"Let's get my babies home." She said as she began to wheel the cart towards the checkout, making sure to hold her wife's hand the entire way.

Once Violet had piled everything into the car, she began to focus all her attention and energy on her wife. The day had been hard so far, and she needed to make sure she was okay.

...wouldn't want anything bad to happen, would we?

"When we get home, you're getting a big tub of ice cream, a hot water bottle, and into bed. And I won't take any arguments."

"Will you stay with me? In bed? I don't relax if you're not there."

"Of course I will. Anything to make my babies comfortable."

~~~~~~

They lay on the large patch of grass outside of their home, right by where the walkway down to the bay started. It was a cold night, and Clementine was wrapped up in a fluffy blanket, meanwhile Violet was wearing a heavy coat. They needed some fresh air sometimes, whatever the cost.  
Violet rested her head on Clementine's stomach, staring up at the stars as she swallowed another spoonful of ice cream, her wife balancing the tub on her chest. It was quiet and calm and all they had was each other.

They'd spent most of the day in bed, cuddled up together. Clementine wasn't feeling up to much at all, but it always seemed better at night, and Violet figured that her wife needed some fresh air and a break from the stuffy room, so this is where they ended up.

"I can see a flower," Violet pointed up at the sky, "Do you see it? It's like, a tulip or something... what's it called?"

"Mmm... isn't that a rose?"

"I don't know anything about flowers." Violet sighed as her wife giggled. The blonde shifted on her stomach, laying her tub of ice cream on the grass beside her, she rested her chin on the brunette's abdomen and looked up at her.  
"How are you feeling?"

"Better with you. You're helping my cramps," she smiled, reaching out to tuck her wife's hair behind her ear before she looked over at the porch of their home, the small lights no longer on. She sighed.  
"I can't believe the power's out. Again. We need to fix that."

"I think," Violet began, sitting up on her knees beside her wife, she leaned over her and connected their lips in a soft kiss before pulling away, "that today sucked. And we should just accept that it sucked and move on. What do you think?"

"That's a great idea," The brunette giggled before feeling Violet's hand slip into the pocket over jacket and pat around. "Whatcha lookin' for?"

"This," She replied as she pulled out the pictures. She looked at it with a smile before flipping it so her wife could also see. Clementine carefully took the picture in her hands and a wide smile spread across her face.

"Our tiny little baby," Violet smiled as she observed her wife's expression.  
"It feels real now."

Clementine giggled, "Look at the leg up in the air. This kid… totally yours. I don't know anyone more proactive than you."

Violet rolled over, cuddling against her wife and looking at the picture with her. "Hah! I didn't even notice that! That's so cool. That's insane."

"It is," The brunette sighed happily as she traced her fingers over it. "I wish things could go faster. I really do. I can't wait any longer."

"We've waited this long. We don't have a choice," She replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "But for what it's worth, it's easier to wait knowing I've got you to do it with. You make it all worth it."

"Don't make me cry."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Violet promised as she now rested her head beside her wife's shoulder on the grass, watching as she lowered the picture and slid it back into her pocket. They stared at the sky, listening to the faint sounds of waves by the bay.

"When do you want to tell people?" Clementine questioned.

"Um... Oh, never thought about that..." Violet pondered, "I was hoping we could keep it a secret for a while. As long as possible, but at the same time... I know this is wrong, but Louis and Sophie always said that if we need money for this sort of thing, that they'd help. And I really want Sophie's help with decorating the nursery and-"

"Calm down," The honey eyed girl chuckled, "We'll tell them after the next ultrasound, just so we know everything's fine. Or earlier, depending on if they catch on or not."

"Fair." Violet replied, now calmer. "What about your family? Do you want to tell them?"

"When I told my mom that we were trying, she told me that she hoped it wouldn't work out and that if it did, she didn't want to know. So, no. As far as I'm concerned, you're my family. You and the baby are all I need."

"...and Lee?"

"Oh, I'll tell him, alright. He'd never forgive me if I didn't." The girl then declared, "I'll visit him this week and tell him. He's the only one I want to tell before we're.... safer, I suppose. He's the only one who knew about the... well,"

"About the miscarriage."

"Yeah." She nodded, chewing her lip. "Can we talk about that, now? Just a little? Like you said... we should normalize it. And I feel like I'm in a good space right now to discuss it."

Violet rested her head against the brunette's and she spoke.  
"Yeah. Let's do that. It'll be good for us. Let's get the basics out there."

"I was pregnant two years ago on our tenth try."

"Mhm."

"We found out together in a gas station bathroom."

"Yep."

"Four weeks along. And we were excited, because it was the only time we had ever gotten a positive or gotten close to one. We didn't make it to a confirmation appointment. Few days after finding out, I was at work and had to come home early because I didn't feel well."

"I had to drive in and get you."

"Right. And I went right to bed when we came home, I told you I felt like something wasn't right."

"You were in bed for about four hours."

"I woke up around ten pm and you were filing paperwork in the living room," She swallowed, "I was overheated, completely, threw the blankets off of myself, it was summer. Got... got a sharp pain in my side. I went to get you, and you were worried,"

Violet nodded along, becoming silent as she wanted to listen to her wife's take on the events rather than interrupt.

"Went to the bathroom while you were getting the keys to drive me to the hospital because we were worried. And I... ended up covered in blood. Didn't... didn't wash it off, didn't do anything. Just... bled, for a while. On the bathroom floor, I don't remember if I cried. I remember when you got me, took me to the car, the car ride is a blur..."

"You spoke to me in the car," Violet added quietly, fingers absentmindedly tweaking the buttons on her wife's jacket, "You kept calling yourself names, saying you were a moron for going to work because you knew something was wrong..."

"We got to the hospital and they took us in fast. And we had an ultrasound. And they were worried that the baby... when, they, um... they figured out that the baby's heart wasn't beating, they thought I might've gotten an infection. But I didn't."

"We never named the baby."

"No, we didn't. We just got on with things because it was a huge loss but we still had things to do," she finished, letting out a breath she wasn't aware that she was holding in.  
"We went to therapy."

"Yeah."

"But we didn't talk about it in detail," she added. "It's a lot to think about, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but we need to normalize it. Say it how it is. We lost our baby. It's still really, really hard, it should never have happened but it did. And it didn't tear us apart and it didn't break us up or put a stop to our plans to start a family because this is what we wanted, all we ever wanted. This is why people like your mom don't matter."

"We still love our baby. Even if we didn't know who they were."

"Yeah, you're right." Violet smiled, nuzzling into her wife's neck to comfort her, "And I'm so proud of you because even though that happened, you're still the strongest person I've ever met."

"Annnnd I'm crying," she chuckled through her tears as her wife's arm came up to lay across her abdomen.  
"I love you so much, Violet. I do hope you know that."

"I promise I know it. I love you, too."

~~~~~~~~~

Violet continued to ring out her hair as she approached the front door, opening it and greeting her friends as they both squealed with delight and Sophie dropped her gifts at the door, the redhead immediately wrapping her arms around Violet.

"Merry Late Christmas!" She exclaimed, pulling away and looking at her friend. "We brought gifts! Had to come back early due to a storm but just you wait, we got you guys so much stuff,"

"Merry, uh, late Christmas to you, too," Violet half smiled, peaking around the doorway to see Louis standing outside with two large boxes in his hands.  
"Hey dumbass."

"Hey lesbian," he replied, "Where's the wife?"

"Clem's not feeling well, she's just in the bathroom trying to freshen up." She explained, "Come in," she gestured, flicking on the *semi working* light switch. Being handy was a real help for the girls, Violet managed to fix nearly everything in their home before. It was something she was grateful to have, but wished that she didn't need.  
Drying off her hair fully, Violet walked towards the hamper and dumped the towel in, her hair now only damp.

Louis and Sophie waddled in holding their big boxes of stuff, neatly wrapped in expensive wrapping paper. Violet eyed the patterns on them as they put them down gently, wondering what she could make from them.

She closed over the door and followed them to the loveseat, watching as they gathered up the boxes.

"That's a lot of stuff. You guys didn't have to... we didn't really get time to get you anything, I- I swear, if I could-"

"We understand," Sophie replied, patting the space beside her when Louis moved to sit on the floor.  
Violet took a seat beside her, and that's when Clementine walked out of the bathroom.

"Oh, hey guys," She smiled, wrapping her cardigan around herself, "You look well. What was it like over in Italy?"

"It was lovely, Venice was great. We went to a restaurant, on a gondola, and..." Sophie replied, excitedly giggling, she couldn't hardly contain herself.  
"Actually, there's something we have to tell you both."

"Oh?"

"Well, look!" She smiled, holding up her hand, showing off the glistening, shiny diamond on her finger. Violet could smell the wealth off of it.  
"We're engaged! We got engaged ON THE FREAKING GONDOLA!"

Though she was happy for her friends, Violet didn't really feel ecstatic about the news, nor did her wife. As they exchanged glances across the room, they both knew that their own news would outdo their friends.

"That's great news! Congratulations guys," the brunette smiled half heartedly before walking over to the fridge. "I want you to tell us everything, but first, does anyone want something to drink?"

"Celebratory beer? It's cheap," Violet suggested to her friends who nodded. She stood up from the seat as Sophie continued to admire her ring and walked over to her wife, taking the drinks out of the fridge for her.  
"Are you okay?"

"My head is throbbing, I thought I was gonna collapse in the bathroom and I threw up."

"Maybe you should go to bed," she whispered, cutting the cans from their confines, "You don't look well. You've been awake for a long time, you need to rest."

She shook her head and gripped the edges of the counter behind her, "I'm okay. I'm just warm."

"Go change," Violet sighed, stuffing the rest of the drinks back in the fridge before pressing a cold can to her head. "I know you can't drink it but it might help you cool down."

"Using a beer can to cool down your pregnant wife, how classy are you?"

"Keep it down!" She chuckled, giving the drink to her wife before returning back to the seat, passing a can to Louis and then Sophie, who denied it, she plopped down.

"Are you not drinking either?" Sophie questioned the blonde. "Looks like only Louis is having a celebratory beer."

Violet shrugged, "What can I say? Alcohol makes me sad."

"Like as if you don't drink a can a night with Clem," Louis chuckled from the corner.

"That was years ago. I'm not a kid anymore, I know what I'm doing," she replied before watching as her wife walked by them and opened the bedroom door, disappearing inside for a moment.  
"Okay, I'll ask. What's in the box? And why's there four? And why are they huge?"

Sophie pushed one of the boxes over with the toe of her boot.  
"Open it. Purple ones yours, oranges one are Clem's."

"Wow, so original," Violet giggled as she picked up the box, which was somewhat light for it's size, and began to very carefully unwrap it.

"Wow. Big boxes." Clementine giggled as she left the bedroom, taking the orange ones and guiding them over to a spot by the fire.

"You can take my seat Clem, here," Violet insisted, but her wife shook her head.

"I'm okay here."

"Take my seat."

"No, it's warm. I'm fine." She replied as she tore open the paper and ripped open the box beneath it.  
Unlike Violet, Clementine didn't care too much for saving stuff such as wrapping paper. Violet was just overly anxious sometimes.

Well... most of the time.

"This is so cute," The brunette smiled as she found the first item in her first box. It was a large, fluffy blanket, and it was more than soft at the touch. Sophie knew how much Clementine loved blankets.  
"Thank you guys. I'm sorry we didn't get anything. We've just been... tight with money. Paying off stuff with clinics and whatever."

"You don't have to apologise," they insisted, "keep looking in the box!"

As she continued to pull out item after item, she finally got to the end, but by then the poor girl was feeling so tired that she just had no energy to jump up and down.

"Oh, hey... flights to Italy? On a private jet?" Her energy restored somehow as she read the piece of paper in her hands. Her jaw dropped.  
"What??" She looked over to Violet, who had been pulling out her items and silently thanking her friends, now holding the same piece of paper in her hands as her wife. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"We can't afford this." She said, placing it down beside her.  
"Thanks guys but we can't afford to miss work. We appreciate it, but, maybe give it to Aasim and Ruby instead."

"Don't be silly!" The redhead encouraged, "We got them for you. As a thanks."

"A thanks?" Violet shook her head, her eyebrows still furrowed, her wife could sense the tension rising in the air. "A thanks for what?"

"Well... we just figured, we had so much fun away, and you guys are really... focused on work and stuff, you could use time away, too." She grinned, "It's also a thanks for the future... because surprise, we're having a baby! And you guys get to babysit!" 

Silence. 

Silence.

Silence.

"You're joking, right?" Violet asked, looking at the ticket beside her.  
"You're actually not serious. This is some type of... fucked up joke, isn't it?"

"I don't follow?"

"You know what we've been through," She began, "you know everything we've risked and everything we've lost and you know that the reason we're so focused on work is so we can have a baby, and you think that you can just walk in here with - with your money, and your stupid fucking engagement ring and hand us tickets to Venice for a week, what, I mean... What do you think is gonna come from this?" She rubbed her forehead stressfully.

"I didn't mean it like tha-"

"Are you stupid, is something wrong with you?" She went on, "You're flying us out to Venice for a couple of days so we'll babysit your kid in months to come? What the hell is wrong with you? It's only been a year since we lost our baby and you think that this is okay?" 

"Violet-" the brunette cut in, "not now."

"What world are you living in? Do you know how entitled you sound? So what, we can't have our own baby so you're just gonna let us babysit yours!? How fucking lucky am I?"

The blonde stood up, ripping the paper to shreds in front of her friends eyes.  
"Take your stupid fucking expensive charity and get out of my house, I don't want to see you guys right now."

And with that, she left the room, storming off to the bedroom.

The brunette clambered up, attempting to fix everything with apologetic words.  
"Guys, I'm sorry, she's... we've had a rough day," she explained to her friends. "I'm so sorry. She didn't mean it. She needs some time."

"We never would've... It wasn't supposed to be malicious, it's just me and my stupid, stupid brain again," the redhead stated as she rubbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Clem, I had no idea you guys lost your baby. It was supposed to be some type of, I don't know, joke or something…"

"Thank you for the presents," The brunette tried her best to change the subject, knowing that the ordeal had triggered herself quite a lot too.  
"Can you go now? I'm sorry, I just, she needs me, I have to take care of her. I'm happy for you both, though," she smiled as brightly as she could before showing them out the door.

~~~~~~

Violet rested her head on her wife's stomach, the brunette humming to her as she stroked through her locks of hair. The house was quiet. The electricity had gone again. All that could be heard was soft humming and small sobs every few seconds.

"I'm sorry for getting mad at Sophie." Violet whispered in a cracking voice, "But, she just... I know it's not her fault."

"You're allowed to get mad at people, we've been through a lot and we're still grieving. Like how I freak out at every little thing, you get mad. We grieve in different ways."

"But she didn't know any better. I shouldn't have said that. I hope she's okay, I better call her tonight and apologise… I can't believe I'd scream at somebody like that. If I ever did that to you, I'd never forgive myself. She didn't know any better.""

"She absolutely did know better. She and Louis both know what we've gone through, maybe not the miscarriage, but it still would've been insensitive if we hadn't gone through that. She's just a bit naive sometimes."

"I hate it."

"So do I."

"No, I hate that she just gets whatever she wants," the blonde expressed, "I hate how easy she said it. How she could just simply be, - 'Oh, we got engaged in Venice at Christmas time and now we're having a baby and it's only been a week since we were away and we don't have to worry about money, look at the presents we got you!' seriously! It's like she's trying to rub it in our faces."

"I very much doubt she is. Poor choice of words on her part," She hummed, tangling her fingers in the blondes hair.

"But... I want to be happy for them. But the fact that it's probably their first try, the fact that they might not have even been trying, it makes me so, so mad!"

"That's valid, too."

"But I should be happy. Because we got it now, right?"

"Doesn't change what happened in the past," she hummed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "We're allowed to be in pain. We're even allowed to be upset about the fact we're having a baby now. We should've had a baby by now and it's hard to accept. It doesn't make us bad people, we're grieving mom's. We know this from therapy. Now, tell me your thoughts, my love,"

"Today sucked. Let's go to sleep and fucking forget about it all. Yeah?"

"You know what? That sounds like a blissful idea."


	4. get some rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine finally starts to take care of herself, prompting Violet to do the total opposite.

Violet stood up in the dark, fitting her belt into the loop around her waist. She sighed, she was utterly exhausted, but money wasn't gonna make itself.  
Violet hated her job. Utterly hated it. Her boss didn't like her, and despite having a good position in her office, she still wasn't given the recognition that she deserved. She was paid what she was owed, but never given paid time off, only for holidays such as Christmas, and never given bonus's. She was the personal assistant to the manager, not to be confused with the assistant manager, but she felt as if she were nothing but a helpless volunteer.

Once her jeans were on, she clambered around the room, looking for her shirt that would've been scattered around somewhere…

Clementine had been feeling significantly better the night before. And they'd, well… made the most of the rare occasion, to say the least.

The brunette was now nearly twelve weeks pregnant, at eleven weeks and four days, she was having days better than others and days worse than others, but overall was feeling better. It had been really tough up until this point, but now, she was eating again. She wasn't throwing up nearly as much (but was still throwing up) and best of all - the bump had began to form. And Violet just could not get over how utterly adorable her wife looked.

Even more so as she lay now, blankets askew, her eyebrows furrowed and form sleeping. Violet smiled, with the help of the street lamps outside of their home shining in, she could see the small belly forming beneath her wife's shirt, and she leaned over to press a gentle kiss to it, something she'd started doing whenever she woke up, just to remind her baby that she was always there.

It made her heart flutter when she pulled away and she watched as her wife's eyes slowly opened with a smile on her face, like as if she were watching a kitten awake for the first time. 

"Hey," The blonde whispered, "Did I wake you up?"

"No…" she replied, scrunching up her nose, "I need to pee."

"Come on," Violet reached down, grabbing her arm and sitting her wife up. The brunette was recovering from a bad cold, and seemed still somewhat weak. It seemed as though she'd been sick ever since they found out that she was pregnant, which wasn't very comforting. Clementine had been putting it down to the first trimester, insisting that she'd be better soon, but in Violet's eyes, her wife needed a little bit of time to recuperate before she threw herself back at work.

"Do you need to get sick? Are you hungry?" She questioned as she stood her wife up, placing her hands on her hips to steady her.

Clementine shook her head and leaned closer, kissing her wife's lips clumsily.

"Thank you. I'm okay." She insisted as she began to walk out of the room.

Violet followed her, flicking on the switch as she reached the main part of the house.

"Clem, be careful, now. I don't want you to trip over anything."

"I'm okay," She replied before disappearing into the bathroom for a few minutes.

By the time Clementine left the bathroom, Violet was almost finished her coffee and really, really needed to get going to work. Still, she stood and waited for her wife to come out so she could make sure everything was okay.

Violet lowered her mug from her lips, placing it on the counter and spoke. "Alright now?"

"You don't have to babysit me, Vi." Clementine replied as she began to walk towards her wife, "I can go to the bathroom myself."

"I know you can. But I want to be sure that nothing's wrong," she smiled, kissing her forehead and ruffling her hair. "Go get some sleep, you have a few hours left."

"Love you," She wrapped her arms around the blonde and gave her a strong, reassuring hug, "Call me and let me know you got to work alright. Okay? I don't want to worry."

"I will. If you promise to do the same, and to take it easy. It's your first day back, I don't want you fainting. If you feel sick, please tell somebody. I'll get you as soon as I can. Alright?"

"Alright," She smiled a small smile, "Bye love."

"Bye, babe."

~~~~~~~~~

The drive to work had been exhausting, with one of the window wipers not working and the rain batting against her car like a ton if bricks, the green eyed girl was more than stressed out. 

Alas, she still made it to work.

Violet dropped her briefcase by her desk and plopped down in the chair, running her fingers through her hair as she rested her elbows on the desk. She was already too tired for this. She opened the drawer and began to pull out paper after paper and then grabbed a pen, knowing the sooner she started, the sooner she'd go home.

The door opened but Violet paid no attention as the man walked in, observing her.  
"Rough night?" Louis asked as he sat in beside her, opening up his own case and starting to prepare himself for work.

Violet sighed before dropping her pen. It was already out of ink. "You could say that."

"Clem not feeling good, still?"

"No, she was feeling much better last night. I can guarantee that." She smirked to herself before speaking again, taking a spare pen from her drawer. "She's going back to work today, thank god she had those vacations days saved up. I'm gonna pop in and see her when it gets quiet here. I honestly don't want her to even go to work but, you know,"

"How many clients do you have booked for today?"

"I've got none, your dad has eleven, and I have to call them all to make sure they're coming in. Then I have to work on the animations for the marketing team... they're the marketing team, why can't they do it?"

He laughed at the comment, "I know. A little misleading. So, you don't like being the assistant personal to my dad, then? I got you that promotion, you know."

"Your dad. Does not. Like me." She stated slowly. "I've done so much for this company, and never gotten a pay rise. And realistically, I need it the most," She huffed a she sat back in the chair. "I respect your families company. I'm grateful you got me this job. But it's not cutting it for me. I need to get something better before it's too late."

"Are you guys still trying for a baby?"

"No, we've decided to stop."

"What?!" He repeated, looking at the blonde directly in the face. "You - You want this, you can't give up!"

"Money is tight. It's fine, we agreed to try again when we're doing better financially." She replied as she began to write out a list of clients, her pen almost shaking in her hand as she nervously spoke.  
"How's Sophie?"

"She's good."

"I'm still sorry. I still feel bad."

"She understands," He replied, "It was insensitive on both of our behalves." He narrowed his eyes, looking at her nervously.  
"You never told me that you guys... had a... well, that you succeeded."

"We didn't succeed. That's why we never told you." She said quietly, pursing her lips together.  
"We never even got a confirmation appointment, Louis. We just got on with things."

"You didn't even take time off of work?"

"No, I didn't take time off work! What am I supposed to do? What do I say? Oh hey, can't come in for a few weeks because my wife had a miscarriage! You don't just say stuff like that, you... you have to get on with it," She looked down at her hand, tapping the pen nervously.

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, we're okay, we're getting through it," She said to him, turning to smile half heartedly at him.  
"So, you never told me in detail about your trip. Did you guys find out about the pregnancy in Italy?"

"We found out in the airport. Sounds so stupid, doesn't it?"

"Not stupid at all. I'm really happy for you guys, so, how far is Sophie?"

"She's fifteen weeks."

"Really??" Violet's mouth opened slightly wider than before, "You guys didn't notice... for that long?"

"It's not like we were actively trying," He replied, not realizing that the words had hurt his blonde headed friend. It just confirmed what she already knew.  
"Everything was perfect. Dinner. Ice cream. Gondola ride, and as she was staring off into the sunset. I did it." He smiled proudly, "She did cry like a baby, as she did when she saw the pregnancy test, but she's always been like that. It's all going well. It's gonna be a good year."

"I'm happy for you." She smiled a very small and almost concerning smile before she heard the office door open and she sighed as Louis's father, Violet's boss, stepped out, ordering her into his office.

"What did I do now?" Violet huffed, standing up from her chair before pushing it back in to the desk and grumpily stomping towards his office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"God," She mumbled, looking at the dark rings below her eyes in the mirror. The day had been pretty easy so far, but it was getting more frequent that customers were coming in and not only expecting to be served - but to have their drinks brought to them, too. And poor Clementine's feet just were not strong enough for that, not today.

Clementine padded along towards the exit, dabbing a wet wipe to her forehead as she held the handle and opened the door. Maybe she wasn't feeling better after all.

Dropping the cloth in the trashcan, she returned to her place at the counter and threw on a smile, before it faded as the café seemed quiet. Everyone sat at their seats, conversing amongst themselves and nobody seemed to need anything so she let go of a deep breath, thankful for the few minutes rest she would receive.

"Are you okay?" Asked her coworker, Mariana who had been cleaning cups behind her. "You don't look well. You look tired."

"I'm fine!" She smiled, "There's not many around, is there?"

"If you want to go on a break, I can handle it." She suggested, shrugging her shoulders. "I have nothing better to do."

"I can't just skip off work, I need the money. Our lights keep going and the kitchen sink isn't working, it started spraying water all over me this morning, we seriously need money. I'm fine."

"Look, nobody will know. It's up to you. I just think you need it. I know Violet would rather you take care of yourself, do I have to call her?"

"I'll be okay," She smiled once more, only slightly irritated as she turned to greet her customer, who greeted her first with a kiss on the lips. She was surprised at first, naturally, but eagerly kissed back when she realized who it was. She blushed.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Hope you don't mind me saying, but you look dashing today. Maybe I could take you on a date, huh?"

"Don't know how my wife would feel about that," She replied with a grin, "What are you doing here, Violet? You're supposed to be in work."

"Well, I had to give you the good news."

"Good news?"

Violet smiled broadly, taking her wife's hands over the counter and kissing both of them before speaking.  
"I got a promotion!"

"What?! Seriously!?"

"Yep!" She beamed, "Promoted to assistant manager! Less work hours, more pay!"

"I thought that was Louis's title?"

"He's been promoted to manager," She squealed with tears in her eyes, "I'm making an extra twenty seven an hour and I only have four days a week at work, it's not a lot of money still but, it means you afford to take more time off for *ahem* little bean. And I get to work from home sometimes! Clem, were gonna have so much time to spend with each other!" Violet informed her.

"That's great!" She squealed, trying not to be loud so she didn't disturb the people in the café. "I'm so proud of you, you work so hard."

"You're damn right I do! Now come on and get off work, we're going home and I'm going to treat you." Violet insisted, but her wife's eyebrows furrowed and she very slowly took her hand away.   
"Clem?"

"I still have a few hours left." She shook her head, "I won't get paid if I leave. We need the money."

"You can afford it, love. You only have four hours left." She pouted. "Please?"

"Vi... I have to work."

"You still have five vacation days left, come on," She insisted, grabbing her wife's arm and tugging her along.  
"Mariana will cover for you, won't you, Mari?"

"Sure!" The girl grinned, "Go home, get a rest, you deserve it."

"I guess my feet hurt a little..." The brunette pondered as her wife tried to pry her away, her friend helping.  
"Guys, seriously, I can't just-"

"Here you go," Her friend passed her coat and bag to the brunette who caught them graciously before she smiled and waved the girls off.

"I'm going to pamper you all day." Violet continued to speak, but Clementine had heard enough.

She pulled her hand of of her wife's grasp and wiped her eyes with it, "I need vacation days for when the baby is born, I need money for when the baby is born, I can't just skip off of work like it's nothing! I have to make money!"

Violet stopped in her tracks and turned around, she observed the way her wife tried to hide her tear stained face from her. Feeling guilty, she reached out and cupped her cheek, rubbing away the tears.  
"Hey, hey, calm down, breathe."

"I'm okay," she said, her breath catching up with her words. She could hardly speak as the tears continued to roll, and so Violet pulled her to her chest in the parking lot, not caring who saw.

"Hey, shhhh, you know I'd never put us in a bad situation. I wouldn't have taken you out of work if I didn't believe that you needed it, your boss didn't even want you back today, she wanted you to take time off. You're not well. We need to accept that, I need to take care of you."

"I'm okay, once I'm a little further along, I should be good," she tried to convince her wife, but the blonde wasn't having it.

"You've been saying that for weeks. I won't have it anymore, okay? You're my number one priority. Keeping you safe is what I'm going to do." She brushed through her hair, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Come home with me?"

"Always."

~~~~~~

Violet hummed, sitting on the edge of the bed with her wife's legs rested on her thighs as they stared at the TV. She'd moved it in and connected it up whilst Clementine was sick, and was yet to get a chance to move it back. Maybe they'd even keep it in their room, she wondered.

"How do you feel?" She asked her wife as she carefully ran her hands up and down her legs. The brunette kept her head against the headboard of the bed, eyes closed and soft breaths leaving her mouth. She hummed tiredly in response, and Violet smiled so wide that her teeth were shown.  
"Wow. You look like you're in your prime."

"I feel relaxed," She smiled, opening one of her eyes and peaking at her wife who was now staring at the TV.   
"I'm so sleepy," She yawned, "tiiiiired."

"Do you need a belly rub?"

"No?"

"Okay, let me rephrase. Can I give you a belly rub?" Violet blushed as she looked at her wife. "I want to make sure the baby knows I'm always around, you know?"

"Oh, you are the cutest thing in the entire world, do you know that? You're the most adorable woman ever. I love you so much." She praised with her arms opened wide, "Come give me a hug, love."

"Stop babying me," Violet pouted, falling gently into her wife's arms and resting her head on her chest. Clementine combed through her hair for a few minutes before noticing that her wife was hovering almost away from her. She frowned.

"I said hug," she insisted, pressing her wife close to her. "Why won't you touch me?"

"I don't wanna crush the baby."

"Violet, that's not gonna happen. The baby is well protected, I promise." She rolled her eyes, "The baby is protected by a barrier of fluids. Kinda gross, right?"

"Ew. I hate that word."

"Whatever," She sneered, grabbing Violet's wrists and pulling her to lay directly on top of her.  
"They're keeping the baby safe. Which means we can do stuff like... this," She smiled, closing her eyes as her lips met the blonde's and a sensual kiss, Violet tilting her head as if to get more of her wife's lips before whimpering slightly as her tongue entered between her partners lips before they pulled away.

The brunette grinned, twirling Violet's hair in between her fingers, "Did you like that?"

"Yes," She replied, pressing a soft kiss to her wife's neck, "But I want more now."

"Mmm, I can tell," She replied, arching her neck to expose more skin to her wife's lips who wasted no time in kissing and nipping the exposed skin.

"That nice?"

"Mmmhm,"

"How do you feel for me?" She trailed her hand down her wife's body, right over her shorts and giggled.  
"I think we should take these clothes off. They're kind of restricting."

"I wholeheartedly agree."

~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks weren't as "stress free" as Violet had previously promised. Well, for Clementine, they sure were. Violet had conversed with Christa, Clementine's Aunt and boss, and managed to convince her to give the brunette a reduced shift until she got to twenty weeks, meaning the brunette was going to have more time to spend at home prepping for the arrival of their baby.

But as for poor Violet - she still had an awful lot of work to catch up on. Yes, her best friend was her boss, but his father still owned the company and still made the big decisions and sadly, Violet's health was not his priority at that moment.

Violet locked her car as she staggered towards the front door. She pressed her forehead against the cold door and panted, watching hazily as her breath fogged up the small pane of glass before it disappeared. She slowly and weakly put her key in and opened the door, hoping she could at least get in and close the door before it was too late. 

“Clem… I’m.. h..” She tried to speak but collapsed, hitting the cold, wooden floor with a thump. 

“Violet!” The scream ripped out of the brunette who had witnessed the sight first hand as she got onto the floor and attempted to hoist her up.  
"Oh no, no, no, I hate it when this happens, not again,"

"Hey, get some water," Louis, who had been standing by the sofa, ordered. The brunette stood up, laying her wife gently as she went to think sink to retrieve the water. Louis crawled down beside the blonde, attempting to sit her up easily.

He managed to prop the blonde up against the wall, sitting by her with a damp cloth provided by Clementine that he held to her head when the brunette came back with the water. After a few seconds, Violet came to, eyes opening and closing, on and off for a few seconds.

"Vi?" Clementine whispered worriedly before her wife's head turned to her, eyes opened slightly. Violet smiled weakly.

"What... happened?"

"You fainted," She swallowed, "Come on, let's get you into bed, can you walk?"

"I'm, um... I'm tired... I wanna sleep..."

"I got her," Louis replied, slipping his arm beneath Violet's knees and scooping her up.

"Thanks Lou. You're lucky she's not fully aware of what's going on, I don't think she'd approve of this," Clementine explained as she opened the bedroom door for him, watching as he gently lay the tired woman across the bed and stepped back.

"My poor girl... She's been working so hard," Clementine expressed, hoping to prompt Louis to talk to his father about letting the girl have some time off, "She really, really needs a rest. She's so good, letting me get reduced hours so I can fight off this, um, really bad cold I have..."

"Has she been eating enough?"

"Enough? She barely eats at all! It's a miracle if I can even get her to drink... she's so focused on work, it's not good for her, at all." She frowned before turning to look at him fully.  
"I think it's best you leave now. Thank you for being here, thank you for coming. I'll tell Violet when she wakes up, I'm sure she'll be delighted. I can show you out,"

"I can show myself out, we're friends." He chuckled, "Bye Clem, see you during the week."

"See you later," She frowned, waving him away before she climbed onto the bed beside her wife. She sat on her knees, looking at the still hazy blonde as she attempted to open her eyes.  
"Hey. Stay sitting, don't move too much."

"I'm sorry," She managed to say, "I don't know what... what happened. I just felt, so... dizzy,"

"Where have you been? Did you drive while you were dizzy?"

She nodded.

"Are you serious right now? That's so dangerous, you could've crashed!"

"But I didn't,"

"Oh my god, are you - I can't believe you sometimes." She began to mumble, combing through her brown locks in thought. "What goes through your mind?! What could possibly make you believe that driving in this state was a good idea and where. were. you?"

"Nothing, I - I just had to get home and there was nobody around to pick me up. It wasn't bad until I was nearly home, I swear," Violet insisted before reverted into herself and anxiously picking at her nails.

Clementine pried further. "Where were you?"

"At work."

"You finish work at five o'clock every evening and it's now seven so I'm going to ask you again and if I don't get an honest answer, I'm going to stay with Sophie and Louis for the night. Where the hell were you for the past two hours?"

"I was at work! I swear!"

"Do you really think I believe that? How stupid do you think I am? We've been together for seven years - I know when you're lying to me!"

"I'm not!" She groaned, sitting up and reaching into her pocket. "You're going to hate me, but since you keep pushing, fine," Violet stated as she pulled out a receipt and gave it to her wife, watching as the brunette examined it. "I got a second job. I've been selling stuff after work."

"Selling stuff?? What stuff?"

"Flowers or whatever. At some flower arrangement store out of town, they're paying me good for it."

The brunette blinked a few times before feeling tears prick at her eyes. "You're working yourself to the point of exhaustion, for what?"

"For..."

"Well?"

"...twenty one dollars a night."

"That's what you're ruining yourself for? We aren't, we - we're not living in the streets, Violet, we have enough to get by, we don't need two jobs each!" She stated, standing up from the bed and going to throw the receipt in the trash before looking at her wife, pale against the headboard of the bed with a guilty expression on her face.

The brunette sighed, rubbing her temples and taking deep breaths before speaking once more.  
"I'm proud of you, okay? I'm proud of you for getting promoted and proud of you for doing this for us but we don't need it. I just need you. Money is important but as far as I'm concerned, you're the most important thing in the world. What am I supposed to do without you?"

"You'd get by. You'd probably have more money if I died... insurance or whatever..."

"Violet." She spoke, watching her wife slowly lift her head up to look at her.  
"Don't say things like that. I don't like it when you say things like that."

"I'm sorry."

"If I didn't have you, I wouldn't have happiness. There's a reason why we've been together for so long. If money was my biggest concern, I could've easily just walked away back to my family - but I didn't because I chose to be with you and even if you can be the most stubborn and... and... unbelievable girl in the world, I'd still choose you." 

"I'm really sorry."

"My hours were reduced so we could spend time together," she continued, taking a seat on the bed beside her wife. "So we could get ready for our family. And now you're being distant. I mean, I'm thirteen weeks today and it's the first time since we found out that you haven't texted me about it. All I want is you to be happy with me, and if you're not... if you want to see somebody else, or, whatever, we can figure out how to share custod-"

"Shut up." Violet sighed, closing over her eyes and shaking her head. "Just shut up. I did this because I wanted you to be happy. I haven't looked at another woman since I met you, honestly, you're the only person I've ever looked at and felt real happiness about. No matter what, I wouldn't ever walk away from you. This is just, a misunderstanding. Come here,"

Clementine shuffled into her arms, laying herself directly on top of her wife's torso and sniffling.  
"Please leave your new job."

Violet sighed, smoothening her wife's hair. "I will, Clem. Let's just... put it behind us, I'll sort it out, how are you feeling today?"

"Stressed. Emotional. Worried. Hungry. Really hungry."

"Did you eat today?"

"Yes."

"What'd you have?"

"Coco pops," She replied, "I had two muffins. A bag of m&ms. And I ate all of the good ones from the box of chocolates in the living room. Sorry."

"Wow. Are you still hungry?"

"...yes. I haven't had dinner yet."

"I'll cook you up something. What do you fancy?"

A pink sheet came over the girls face and she buried it in Violet's neck, "So it sounds a little weird, okay? Don't laugh..."

Violet raised her hand, rubbing it up and down her wife's back reassuringly before pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Hey, you can have whatever you want. Just tell me."

"I wanna make some cookies. And eat the dough. Like, not bake it, I don't know. I've never had cookie dough. I'm curious."

"We can do that, I want to do that." She reassured her, kissing her cheek once more. The brunette sat up on her wife's hips, taking both of her hands and balancing.  
"You're getting heavy."

"Meanie."

"It's a good thing."

"Mmmm, sure," Their lips connected in a quick kiss before they broke apart, and both smiled broadly. Violet reached up and cupped her cheek, rubbing it softly in a reassuring manner.  
"I'm sorry I got mad at you. I mean, I'm still mad at you, but I know you were only trying to help."

"You have every right to be mad at me. I'm stupid. Big stupid. My brain is not smart." 

"Don't be mean," she frowned, ruffling the blonde's locks before putting both her hands on the sides of her head, smoothening her hair.  
"Pretty."

"You too."

"And cute," she nuzzled her nose against the blonde's.  
"Can you come help me wash my hair? I feel greasy."

"Of course I can," She smiled, pressing a kiss to her nose. "It's the least I can do." Violet smiled wholeheartedly as she sat up, hands on her wife's back, she then nuzzled her cheek against the brunette's chest.  
"I love your heartbeat."

"I love your everything," she replied, looking at the blonde head, content with her place against her chest. "Louis came over to invite us to their baby shower. It's this Sunday. They left it long to invite us, because they weren't sure whether or not we'd want to go."

"I don't want to go."

"We have to show our faces, Violet. We've talked about things now, okay? We can do it."

Violet shook her head, clawing at her wife's back as if she would disappear if she let go. She tried to get as close as physically possible to the brunette who only huffed and kissed her head.  
"I know it's hard but they'll appreciate it."

"No."

"Violet, we have to," she sighed, kissing her head. "I want us to have a baby shower, too, we can get some ideas from them."

"We can't afford a baby shower."

"Sure, we can! You're a designer, I can bake. If I talk to Ruby, she'll help me make some stuff for the shower, you can make some decorations, and done! It'd be really helpful. We need to get stuff. Basically, let's trick our friends into buying us stuff for our baby."

"The house wouldn't fit that many people," Violet stated, "Louis, Sophie, Ruby, Aasim, Marlon, Brody, Molly, probably your friends too, how do we fit them in this tiny ass house?"

"Backyard. We have a huge backyard. Perfect," She declared before Violet pulled away from her chest.  
"Talk about it more when the time comes. Now, help me wash my hair?"

"Fiiiiiine!"

~~~~~~~~

"I think if we have a boy, I should name him," Clementine then went on as Violet scrubbed at her hair, untangling the knots and making sure to wash out the bubbles. "And if we have a girl, you should name her."

"No." Violet shook her head, rinsing out her wife's hair.

"Why not?"

"Because I want my son to have a good name. You'll probably call him Scooby or something," She said as Clementine splashed water at her, forcing her to giggle.

"Maybe I should just name the baby. Regardless of anything." Clementine suggested.

"No. I wanna name the baby."

"No."

"Fine. But you're not naming him either."

"We aren't going to have a boy."

"We might." Violet shrugged, "How about this..." She leaned forward in the tub, rubbing her hand over the small bump on her wife's middle and listened carefully.  
"Yeah, the baby wants me to name them."

"Dammit!" She giggled, splashing more water to her wife before laying back and lightly draping the water over herself.  
"We have an appointment next week."

"Oh?"

"An ultrasound."

"I thought we weren't getting that for another few weeks."

"I was concerned." She shrugged, "about the cramps. So I called and the nurse said she'd do an ultrasound, even if just to make me feel better. I think they all know I'm insane."

"You're not insane, Clemmy. You're just nervous. And this is good, that means we can see our little bean again, better quality," She smiled before Clementine shivered and Violet sighed.  
"I think it's time to get out of the bath, don't you?"

"Mhm..." She nodded, "Let's go get some rest."


	5. Anywhere with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls find out their baby's gender & have a run in with their dark past, in the form of a tall girl with red hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all
> 
> This probably has mistakes in it, but I genuinely don't have time to edit so I sincerely apologise! I still hope you enjoy.

Violet sat in the armchair, resting her feet on the coffee table with her book in hand as the front door slammed closed, her wife walking in. She licked her thumb before flicking the page, looking up at her wife only once.  
"Hey,"

"Hey..." Clementine replied, taking off her coat and observing her wife. "Where the hell did you get that?!"

"Oh, what? My new glasses?" Violet put her book down on the armrest and tweaked her glasses with a grin, "Or, the armchair?"

"Both!" She stated, draping her jacket over the back of the loveseat.  
"How much?"

"The glasses are my old ones, they just needed fixing. Twenty dollars, not bad if you ask me. And this?" She ran her hands across the armrests of it and smiled at her wife.  
"Cheap. Thrift store. I've washed it and got a blanket to go with it. It's our first piece of furniture for the baby's room."

"It's beautiful," Clementine smiled, seeming satisfied with the purchase. "When do you wanna move it in?"

"Well, now. It's white and if it stays out here, our greasy fingers will ruin it." Violet chuckled, looking over at the door of the soon-to-be nursery.  
"I'm selling our computer desk, by the way... Well, actually, it's already sold, I just need to drop it off to the person buying it."

"You what?!" Clementine's jaw dropped. "All I did was go to work, and I come home and y-you, what?"

"Babe," Violet began, taking a deep breath as if prompting her wife to do the same. "I've sold it for a hundred and ten dollars and bought us a new, smaller desk to replace it. It can go in the corner by the door, we have plenty of space," Violet pointed to the area before standing up and approaching her wife.  
"Relax. I got it all worked out," She pressed a kiss to her cheek before leaning down to kiss her rounded belly. "How was work?"

"Shit." She replied as Violet wrapped her arms around her shoulders, trapping her in her grasp, she looked up at her.  
"Your hair looks nice... did you get it cut?"

"Nah, I washed it," Violet replied with a chuckle, "We're not rich," she kissed her nose before releasing her and walking over to the fridge to take out the dinner she had prepared for her wife.  
"Lou and Sophie's shower tomorrow."

"Fun."

"I honestly don't think I can stomach too much of it," Violet declared, taking out the cold food and taking it to her wife who now sat on the loveseat opposite the armchair.  
Clementine liked her food cold.  
"I say we go, give them their gift, eat some of the cake, maybe steal some of the cake, wait for their gender reveal, leave right after. Say we have somewhere to be or something, you know?"

"We could just be honest. They aren't going to fault us for grieving."

"It's easier if we don't bring it up, though. Avoid that topic all together..." Violet pursed her lips together before speaking.  
"I wonder if Minerva will be there."

"If she is, I'm not going." Clementine then stated, the thought having not even crossed her mind, "After everything she did to you, I refuse to play happy families with her. I'll rip her to shreds. It's the least she deserves." She declared as she started to shovel her mashed potatoes in her mouth.

Violet sighed, shifting in her place before she stood up and walked over to open the office door, standing in and having a look at it, observing everything.  
"Laptop is on the ground. I'll put that on the small table and stuff... all we have left to move then is my lesbian pride flag."

"We can put that in our room if you like," She suggested, switching on the TV as she ate.  
"Or we could put it on the window again, the outside? But I'd be worried about the neighbors. They're generally all okay... except that one lady who threatened to call the police because we were outside on our own property after dark."

"Yeah, no, I'm not putting it outside. It's too precious to me." She stated as her wife nodded, finishing her food off. "How are you feeling, Clem?"

"I'm fine. I'm a little tired but I'm okay."

"Was work alright? Be honest, now. Usually, you have more to tell me about it."

"It was fine."

"Is my Clementine grumpy?" She questioned, leaning over the back of the loveseat, she nuzzled her nose into her wife's neck.  
"What's wrong? Why are you so quiet?"

"I just don't want to see Minerva."

"Neither do I."

"No. Seriously. I don't want to be around her, she makes me mad."

"Shhhh," Violet whispered to her soothingly as she left small kisses along her neck. "You don't have to worry about her. Please don't get upset, alright?"

"Alright..." she complied stubbornly before putting the plate, still somewhat full of food, down on the table. Clementine stood up and wiped her hands off on herself before walking to the baby's room with her wife.

"You still have food."

"I can't eat thinking about her," She sighed as she walked through the door to the room. Her immediate reaction was to open the window, it was really stuffy. The room was quite small, and rarely used, only when Violet needed to do work. It wasn't very well furnished either, they'd definitely need to paint it.  
"Her, name... it just makes me think about how you were when we first got together. She really broke you."

"Clementine, if she's there tomorrow, we're leaving, okay? Drop the present and go. It'll be fine. I promise," she pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I wouldn't choose her over you, anyway." She promised as her hand rubbed in circles on her belly before Violet got down on her knees to give it a kiss. "Look, you. Look how happy we are. I'm not gonna throw all of this away for her, I wouldn't do it for anyone, but I especially wouldn't do it for her. I'm really looking forward to meeting our baby with you, so let's focus on that, okay?"

"Okay," she sighed, unable to hide her smile. "You look so cute."

"I am so cute."

"Okay, that's a little self centered,"

"Whateveeeer," she shrugged before pressing her ear to her wife's bump and smiling. "Our bean is gonna start moving soon. It feels like it's going too fast but not fast at all."

"I want it over. I just want our baby. This is a tiring experience," She hummed, "We still need to tell people, and we should start soon. Our next ultrasound is this week. We're starting to decorate the room this week. We're thinking of names this week. We're really getting into it."

"Then, we'll tell everyone this week, okay?" Violet smiled, "Next time you see Ruby at work, tell her. And we'll tell Sophie and Louis together. And anyone else, yeah?"

"Yeah," A smile. "You know, I have been thinking," Clementine began as she combed through her wife's hair.

"Hm?" Violet hummed before kissing her belly once more and standing up.

"I think we should find out at the ultrasound what we're having. I don't care about pink or blue or any of that stuff, but I just would like to know." She said to her wife who smiled broadly.

"Yes! I knew you'd cave!" She squealed, throwing her arms up in the air, "That means we'll know soon!"

"It might not be accurate, though,"

"But, we'll know!" She cheered again, "I'm gonna cry at the ultrasound, like a baby, I'm gonna sob, I promise,"

"Yay." She chuckled sarcastically before pushing her wife away gently.  
"I'm gonna take your flag down, start moving the laptop out,"

"....fiiiiiine." Violet was still grinning as she walked to the corner to retrieve her laptop.

Clementine reached up to the flag, going to grab the corners of it when she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She stopped and released a deep breath, closing her eyes.  
"Vi,"

"Yeah?"

"I think I might've hurt myself. My back hurts."

The blonde frowned and took a few steps towards her wife, resting her hands on her waist from behind, "Are you okay? Is it bad?"

"I think I need to sit down."

"Go lay down," She ordered her, taking her hand and kissing the back of it before turning her around to face her. "I'll take care of this." Violet kissed her nose sweetly.

The brunette nodded and left the room solemnly, disappointed that she couldn't help her wife but also just eager to get a rest. Violet didn't mind, though. She was good like that. There hadn't been a day since they had gotten together that the blonde hadn't put her wife first. 

On their wedding night, Violet had carried Clementine up three flights of stairs to the apartment because the heels had hurt her feet so bad that blisters began to form. She had lay her wife in the bath after undressing her, and scrubbed at her skin to get the makeup off as her new, curly headed love lay drowsily in the bath, already half asleep. She'd washed her, kissed her on the forehead and carried her to their room to rest for the rest of the night and Clementine would never forget it.

Never.

She smiled at that memory as she opened the bedroom door, beginning to pull off clothes and dress in something lighter. Violet always made sure the house was warm, and it was becoming an issue. Clementine knew that she just wanted to make sure that she was okay, but sometimes, Violet could go a little overbored.

"Everything okay?" Violet was in the door right behind her wife with a very worried expression on her face.  
"Are you cramping? Do you need ice or something like that?"

"I'm fine," The girl huffed, sitting on the bed gently and sighed as she looked up at the ceiling and tears pricked her eyes. "I can't look at Minerva tomorrow."

"Hey, come on," Violet was frowning, taking a seat beside her wife and gently taking her hand in her own, she entangled their fingers and spoke.  
"We've talked about this. We can do it together."

"She hurt you."

"I know, but-"

"No, she hurt you," She stated with more emotion, "She... snapped you. She broke you. She's evil. She's left scars on you," She whispered, looking into her wife's glossy, green eyes before the blonde shamefully averted her gaze, taking the back of her hand to her lips and kissing it.

Clementine went on.  
"She beat you. With stuff. She's put scars and marks on your body, on my wife that'll never go away, I want to protect you from her, but I also don't want to go to jail."

"You're not gonna kill her."

"I came close to it, once."

Violet looked at her wife, sorrow and guilt in her eyes. "She's bad, but she won't get to you and she won't get to me. I can handle this. I've had therapy. I've done everything I can, I can't avoid her forever, not when she's my best friends sister."

"I'm sorry. I always bring it up. I'm sorry, it's just overwhelming,"

"You don't have to apologise," She whispered, moving closer to her wife and snuggling her, "You don't ever have to apologise." Violet whispered to her.

Clementine lay her head on the blonde's shoulder, sighing as she felt less tense now. It was amazing how this woman could fix her in a heartbeat. She stroked Violet's arm as the blonde hummed to her, the both of them at peace, the only sound being the muffled television from the other room. 

But then again, it wasn't too loud, either.

~~~~~~~~~

Violet held her wife's hand tightly as they walked through the big gates of the house, towards where all the people gathered in the back. Everything was decked out in blue and pink, and Violet immediately was hit with a sense of nausea and a need to go home.

Still, she pursued alongside her wife, who had made sure to hide her small bump, fearing that she'd be accused of taking away Sophie's spotlight.

"Haven't seen Minerva yet," Clementine whispered, "Maybe she's not here?"

"Hopefully." Violet replied, looking at her wife before lowering her hand to take Clementine's wrist from it's placement. "You're touching your belly. Dead give away."

"Sue me."

"For what?"

"Good point."

They continue their walk before finding Louis and Sophie, who hugged them both then graciously accepted their gift. Violet forced a smile, a glass of champagne handed to her as Louis and Sophie began to fill them in on all they'd missed.

"You guys were late! I thought you wouldn't come! I'd hate for you to miss our gender reveal and baby shower, especially since you're the godparents!" The redhead began to spew, taking Clementine's hands in her own and swaying them.  
"Your dress is super cute!"

"Thanks..." She smiled awkwardly, eagerly wanting to change the subject of her appearence.  
"How was your appointment?"

"The doctors said that Sophie is super healthy. We got to start making a birth plan, our insurance is going to cover the birth, so why wait?" He laughed.

Violet pursed her lips together and looked off to the side, feeling guilty that her life was left to talk to the two as she zoned out.

"And look!" The redhead emphasized, twirling in her dress, "I'm seventeen weeks and I feel great! This entire pregnancy has been easy."

"That's nice." Clementine nodded.

"And to think, we weren't even trying..." The redhead then mumbled to her fiance, they both giggled, looking at each other lovingly before connecting in a soft kiss.

Violet turned slightly, finding the table behind her that was littered with cupcakes and treats. She placed the champagne down and wiped her sweat off on her jeans.  
"I need a second," She said before turning quickly and walking off.

Clementine, Louis and Sophie were quiet. Clementine's eyebrow knitted together in worry as her eyes followed Violet, her body frozen in time for a moment as if it were unsure how to react before her instincts kicked in.

"I'll be right back," She said before escaping and jogging over to her wife who now stood almost at the other side of the court, leaning against the wall. She approached her quietly, putting her hand on her back and speaking to her soothingly.  
"Hey, breathe, it's okay,"

"Sorry," She squeaked, shaking her head, "It was just a bit too much for me."

"Shhhh," She rubbed circles on her back, waiting until her breathing was steady to stop. A minute or so passed of the brunette rubbing her wife's back, then Violet rose slightly and she spoke.  
"Are you alright now?"

"Mhm," She hummed, standing up straight and wiping her eyes that were merely wet before the brunette's arms wrapped tightly around her, a safe place.  
"Thank you for being here." She muffled into her neck as the brunette pressed a kiss to her temple.

"That's my job," She smiled before pulling away, cupping her wife's cheeks and brushing them to check for tears. Once she was satisfied with the lack off teas, she took her hand strongly in her own. "Come on. Let's go and get the reveal over with, then me and you can go home, okay? And we can watch some movies. Hows that sound?"

"Like heaven." She smiled, pecking her lips before they began to walk to the place where everybody now gathered.

There were many people and the pair felt themselves melt into the background very well. Clementine wrapped herself around Violet's bicep nuzzling against her in a comforting manner as they absentmindedly listened to whatever they were saying.

They were focused for a few moments before Clementine lifted her head from against her wife and stood up straight, like a cat with the hair on the back of it's neck standing up, she looked enraged.

Violet noticed this and placed her hand on her wife's wrist, speaking lowly to her.  
"Are you okay?"

"Minerva."

"What?"

"Minerva."

Violet followed where her wife's finger was pointing and almost immediately held her breath at the sight of the woman closer to the front. Her heart pounded in her ribcage and she tried to breathe steadily, but the breaths either wouldn't come out, or would come out too fast.

Still, she tried to reassure her wife.

She took her hand to her lips and kissed the back of it, "Don't look at her, alright? Focus on the baby. Think of some names for them, think about how when we get home we're going to buy the bassinet. Think about nursery decorations, yeah?"

"...yeah," She mumbled grumpily before wrapping both of her arms around Violet's waist tightly, smooshing her cheek against her torso. "I'm not letting her look at you. I'm gonna glare at her until we leave. If she even thinks about looking at you, I'll snap her in two."

"My knight in shining armor," Violet chuckled, rubbing up and down her wife's back as they watched their friends pop the balloon, exposing their baby's gender to the world.

Violet smiled as the pink confetti fell to the ground, but her wife seemed less than enthused. 

"Congratulations!" Violet yelled out, a smile on her face before Clementine unwrapped her arms from her wife and took her hands.  
"Are you okay? You look pale."

"I just have a headache. Don't feel like staying here much longer. Let's say goodbye and go," She mumbled, and Violet combed through her hair and promised her that they would go home soon.

They approached their friends who were in the middle of enjoying their cakes, the name of their daughter still yet to be announced. Violet gave them both a hug and congratulated them, then getting stuck in a conversation that seemed to never end.

After a few minutes, Clementine had grown impatient, and taken the keys from her wife.  
"I'll be in the car." She said with an exhausted yet bitter tone in her voice. As she began to walk away, Sophie spoke.

Violet followed the way her wife walked away with her eyes, stuck in a trance before the redheads words hit her.

"Is she mad at me?" She questioned, crossing her arms. "I'm sorry Vi, but I thought we were over this. I'm not just gonna not celebrate my daughter because you guys had a miscarriage."

"Uhhh, what?" Violet looked at the girl with wide eyes and a quirked eyebrow.

Sophie shifted uncomfortably beneath the blonde's stare.  
"I know you lost a baby, but, that doesn't mean I can't be happy."

"Our baby. We lost our baby. Not a baby." She corrected with narrow eyes before looking to Louis, who was mortified by his girlfriend's words.  
"Are you just gonna let this slide?"

"I- I mean, no, that's not okay-"

"You know what, it's fine," Violet brushed it off, turning to walk away.  
"You guys weren't worth my time, anyway. If you need me, I'll be with my wife." Violet began to walk towards the gates and out of the court, heading to where all the cars parked.

Violet went over the words in her mind again, and thanked every god that Clementine hadn't been there when Sophie said them. Who knows what her wife would've done?  
Violet blamed Sophie's naivety. She knew her friend was anything but bad, anything but bitter, she just didn't understand as well as she should. She'd been sheltered her whole life and outshone by her younger sister, it wasn't a wonder that she felt the need to make a big thing of every thing.

Still, Violet wished she could just scream at her. If things had worked out the way they were supposed to, Clementine and Violet would already have had their baby and things would've been the way they were always supposed to be. She didn't appreciate Sophie's comments about her family.

Not one bit.

She could almost see her car, and her wife's face in it, when she was stopped in her tracks. She felt her stomach flip and suddenly, she was sixteen again, in the worst way possible.

She put her fingers on the blonde's chest and slowly nudged her with a smile. Her teeth were showing, and Violet felt even more sick when she spoke.  
"It's been a while. How've you been?"

Violet was breathing heavy, her chest heaving beneath the redheads fingertips.  
"Can..." She began, swallowing the dryness of her throat, "Can you please move out of the way? I have to go home..."

"What? We haven't seen each other in years and you want to leave me already?" Minerva frowned, but Violet didn't know, because she was too scared to look up at her gnarly grin.  
"I'll let you go." She smiled, stepping out of the way. 

Violet shakily walked passed her, her wobbly legs going as fast as they could. 

Minerva watched as she walked away before she spoke once more.  
"Violet?"

The blonde stopped. She didn't want to look back, but found that she couldn't stop herself.  
She trembled. "Y-yeah?"

The redhead bit at her lip, eyeing her up and down. Violet felt exposed beneath her glare, and her brain told her to run away. 

Still, she listened to the poisoning words leaving her ex's mouth.

"I was just trying to remember what you looked like last time I saw you, but back then, you were wearing something just for me..." She sneered. Violet had hoped that would be the end of it, but the redhead continued.

"How's Clem these days?"

"Don't talk about her."

"I'm just being friendly," a smile, "Is she still oblivious? Better than me?"

"Stop it," She shook her head, unable to move as if she were frozen but desperately wanting to get away.

Minerva seemed to enjoy the reaction she was getting out of Violet, and so continued.  
"Bet she doesn't make you scream like I did, do you remember? You told everyone in court that you begged to leave me but we both know that all you ever did was beg me to let you come-"

Violet turned swiftly, she muttered a small sum of swear words before approaching the car and slipping in beside her wife, her eyes immediately brimming with tears and the tears spilling as if on command.

"What happened?!" Clementine questioned immediately, checking over her blonde headed lover for issues. "Violet? Are you okay? Did someone do something to you?"

"M-Minerva," Violet croaked, racking with sobs. Crying, it was normal in their household, in their relationship. Violet cried for her wife, for their baby. Clementine cried for everything. But sobbing? That was rare. Which made Clementine's panic skyrocket.

"What did she do?"

"She's just fucking disgusting," She whispered, "I feel sick. I don't feel good. She made me feel bad."

"Shhhh, she won't hurt you, okay? She can't hurt you," She whispered to her wife, combing through her locks soothingly with her fingers. "I'm sorry for leaving you alone. She must've saw me get in the car and waited for you. Hey, it's okay, I'm here, she won't come near you ever again, okay?"

Violet shook her head, biting her lip to stop her tears. "All she did was poke me. But I don't feel good. I feel like I'm gonna puke."

"She put you through a lot of stuff, it's only natural that anything she does, even little things, would scare you." Her wife promised, looking at her with wide eyes, gentle and full of love.  
"We can go to the police about her. She's not supposed to come near you, okay? Let's go home, Vi, let's go home and forget about today. It's just another bad day."

"Alright, okay..." She finally began to calm down, "it's just another bad day."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bassinets been ordered!" Clementine cheered as she walked into the office where Violet sat on the floor, a paint brush in hand.  
"How's the furnishing coming along?"

"Horrible."

"Looks alright to me?"

"Why did you choose green, Clem? Were there seriously no nicer colors?"

"I like green!" She frowned, looking around the room. "Plus, it's not all green. The ceiling will be blue so we can make it look like a sky. It's supposed to be jungle themed. Be nice."

"Whatever." Violet sneered, dropping her paint brush into the bucket and standing up. "The smell is giving me a headache. Can I take a break?"

"Of course you can take a break!" She wrapped her arms around her wife's body and kissed her cheek, "Don't ever feel like you have to do stuff for me, okay? We can come back to this tomorrow. How about you go and take a quick shower and I'll put on a movie. Okay?"

"Yeah," She sighed, holding her head as she walked towards the door, "Thanks, Clem."

"No problem." The brunette smiled when her wife left the room. She looked around the room at the furnishing, her plans weren't coming true. They had planned that they'd paint trees and animals on one wall of the room, clouds and birds on the ceiling and have a mobile above the crib. But they just didn't have the money, and so their plans were looking slim.

Clementine closed over the lid of the paint so that it wouldn't dry up before she left the room and closed the door after her. 

She wouldn't admit it to her wife but, she was not happy with the theme at all.

She walked towards the cupboards, getting on her knees and digging out all the snacks and treats she could find before taking them over to the coffee table and laying them out. She got some blankets and set them neatly on the loveseat before switching on the TV and rummaging through movies, curled up with a blanket.

Violet left the bathroom and was immediately met with the sight of her wife curled up on the loveseat and she smiled. "What movie are we watching?"

"What do you wanna watch?"

"Something cheesy and romantic. I'm in the mood."

"Ooooh, the mood?"

"Not for sex. I feel disgusting today." She giggled before walking around the seat and towards the bedroom to get changed. She noticed the expression on Clementine's face and spoke again.  
"However, my birthday is in a few weeks. And I'm expecting a surprise," she winked before disappearing into the room to change, leaving her wife blushing.

A few hours passed and Violet's head lay on Clementine's stomach, she was popping candy into her mouth and had almost ate all of the bag herself before Clementine warned her to stop.

She really had a sugar tooth.

"Why won't you let me have anymore? You got them for me..." Violet huffed, looking at the bag as Clementine focused on the movie.

"Because you'll rot your teeth."

"I'm nearly thirty years old, you don't have to police me," Violet reached for the bag but Clementine just held it higher from her, knowing she'd be too lazy to stand up and grab it.

"Cleeeeem! This is bullying."

"Hey," She kissed her forehead, "You can have some more when we get to the next ad break. But no more after that because you won't be able to sleep, and I'm not listening to you whine about feeling sick."

"I listen to you whine about feeling sick allllll the time. It's what marriage is about, is it not?"

"I'm having your baby, you have to listen to me." The brunette giggled smugly before wrapping her arms around the blonde's chest and hugging her close.  
"Let's cuddle."

"Good idea."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Violet held Clementine's hand, anxiously tapping her foot against the floor as the nurse was beginning the examination. Clementine looked over at her worried wife and spoke, rubbing her hand with her thumb.

"Everything's okay. Breathe."

"I know," Violet lied. 

Violet watched, breath caught in her throat as the tool came into contact with her wife's abdomen. She stared at the screen, waiting anxiously until the nurse found the right spot.  
The brunette squeezed her wife's hand excitedly.

"Our bean is no longer a bean." She said with a quiet giggle, "Look at the little fingers, Vi!"

"Fingers?"

"Look at them," She pointed, "Our bean isn't a bean. More like, a small orange or something."

"Baby Orange. That's the babies name. I've decided it." Violet chuckled at her wife's expression before Clementine rolled her eyes and spoke to the nurse.

"We want to know the gender. We decided that." The brunette declared, "If you can even see it by now."

"We should be able to see it by now," The woman stated, "You're nearly fifteen weeks?"

"Yeah."

"Then yeah, we should be able to see it. You want me to look?"

"Yes!" Violet squealed quietly from the corner as she kissed her wife's hand, continuously staring at the screen.  
The nurse pressed around for a few moments, with both Clementine and Violet eagerly looking at the screen.

She eventually found the place and smiled, "If you look here, these are the legs. And from what I can see, it definitely looks like a boy."

"Boy?!"

"Yes, if you look here-"

"A baby boy, Clem!" Violet cheered, kissing her wife's hand over and over.

"You should properly confirm that at your hospital appointment. But I mean, I've been doing this for seventeen years and I'm pretty sure that it's a boy," The nurse chuckled before finishing up the examination and speaking.  
"Okay. Everything's perfectly fine, it's the way it should be. This appointment was to help your nerves, and I hope it's done that?" She questioned the brunette.

"It has. It's helped a lot." She smile, moving her arms up as Violet wiped off the gel on her belly, a content smile on her face.

"Then I'll see you next time." The nurse smiled at the girls as they got up and began to leave, walking out of the office with smiles on their faces.

"Clementine. We're having a baby boy." Violet repeated as they sat into the car, both looking at each other with stupid smiles on their faces.  
"We're gonna have a little dude. A dude!"

"A dude!" She repeated her wife's words. "Yes, this is good. Now, home? Or no?"

"Anywhere with you. I don't mind where we go."

"Okay, Shakespeare." She chuckled as her wife started the car and off they went.

~~~~~~~

Violet looked nervous as she watched her friend fix the lamp, biting at her nails nervously until the house lit up. She sighed with relief as Louis stepped down from the ladder, and thanked him.

"The lights have been off all day." She said, gripping her hair with her fingers. "Thank you. Clem will be so happy," She smiled.

"It's no problem," He replied before his eyes landed on his girlfriend, who was fixing the flower pot on Violet and Clementine's tiny dining table.  
"What are you doing?"

"Clem asked me to add more flowers," She shrugged, "Pink looks good with the color scheme of your home, Violet." She then smiled at the blonde.  
"Do you still need paints?" She questioned.

Violet nodded as Louis took a seat across from Sophie, she decided it was the right time.   
"Guys."

"What?"

"There was another reason why I brought you both here today. Why I insisted on you both being here." She spoke, pulling her hair tightly into a ponytail before letting it go and sighing.

"What is it?" They looked concerned.

"Clementine's, well," She couldn't hide her smile as she looked at the floor.   
"She's pregnant."

There was silence for a moment and Violet feared the worst, but soon enough, Louis stood up and wrapped his arms around the blonde, swinging her around happily.

"I knew it!"

"Knew it?!"

"I KNEW it!"

"How?" She squirmed, kicking her legs before he plopped her down on the floor.

"I just knew." He claimed.  
"Did Clem say you could tell us, though?"

"I talk everything through with my wife. Of course she did," Violet smiled, as if she were taking a jab at both Sophie and Louis. They had been known by their friend group to not be very good at communicating.

"I'm really happy for you both."

"Thanks!"

"Wait-" Sophie stood up, her face pale. "Does that mean we're going to have babies at the same time?"

"Around the same time, yeah. You're a month ahead."

"Our babies are gonna grow up together!" She squealed, "I hope we both have girls!"

"Oh, no, we've already found out. We're having a boy."

"A boy? So we get to have opposites! This is great!"

"...yeah," Violet smiled half heartedly, "Clem and I agreed to tell you guys together, but she had to go away for work today. We didn't wanna wait much longer. I kind of need you guys to help... with the room." She cringed, scratching the back of her head as if she was scared to talk.

Sophie raised an eyebrow, "With what?"

"We have the most horrific theme for the nursery, the room is green! Green! It's so bad!"

Both Sophie and Louis laughed at Violet's words. She'd never say something like that to Clementine, but would always try to find ways around hurting her feelings instead.

"I can't let my baby sleep in a green room. I can't. It's so bad, look!" She took a few steps towards the office and opened the door, gesturing to the inside.  
"Green! It's like the inside of the hulks asshole!"

"Gross..."

"Sophie. You're a designer, I'm begging you. Give me some ideas for cheap stuff, I need a color scheme, please?"

Sophie looked at the room, pursing her lips and furrowing her eyebrows in concentration before speaking.  
"White, grey, blue. They're your three main colors. Go for something neutral, light colors make the room look bigger. You should put the crib, hm.... by the wall. Changing table could be in that little dip there where the wall is mishaped. The chair could go by the crib, maybe some shelves above the crib and some decorations, rug, bunting, a couple of pictures, yeah?"

"Holy fu- I mean, I just wanted a color scheme but thanks," She smiled, closing over the door. A sigh.  
"Thank you. Don't mention the nursery to Clem, I wanna surprise her."

"Of course."

Silence.

"I'm sorry Violet." Sophie then said clearly, "What I said at the shower was really insensitive and I need to learn how to keep my stupid mouth closed. I hope you guys can forgive me."

"Honestly Soph, I just hope you think before you speak. Not just to me or Clem about that stuff, but to anyone. You don't know what everyone's been through. It's not easy for us all."

She nodded. "I know that now. I promise."

"I appreciate it," Violet said quietly before she looked out the window, spotting a car pulling up in the driveway. She beamed.  
"Thanks for keeping me company guys. But my girl's back now."


	6. whatever the cost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet is forced to relive past trauma in more ways than one. Clementine starts to feel worrying symptoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. My friend Grace helped me out a lot with this chapter, more specifically, the dark parts. She wrote a draft for the first main part of this chapter and I used it - so if anyone has wattpad, I suggest you read her oneshots. (@violentime). She's been very helpful.
> 
> This chapter is quite dark and sad so beware!
> 
> And yes - they will have the baby soon.

_Violet reached her hand over, placing it gently on top of her wife's knee. She felt like a stranger, she didn't know what to say, it was as if this woman she's been with for the past six years was nobody to her. She couldn't really say much. She didn't really feel much. Shouldn't she feel something?_  
_"My life has changed for the better because of you, everyday I wake up and I look at you and I just feel so much love for you. I'm proud of you. I don't hate you. You didn't do anything wrong and this is absolutely not your fault." She said quietly, looking down at the floor. Clementine shook her head and brought her hands to her eyes as tears leaked again. She wailed._

_"Don't lie to me. I feel worthless, I feel... nothing. I feel sick."_

  
_"I'm not lying to you, I know you're feeling... lost, and loss, but I want you to know that I love you and that this doesn't change anything."_

  
_"It changes everything. Everything. We just fucking - we lost-"_

  
_"I know what we lost Clem but I didn't lose you," Violet said sternly, holding her wife's hand tighter. She leaned her head against the wall and sighed._

  
_"I still have you. I love you. I want you to be okay."_

  
_"They said I'm sick."_

  
_"You might be sick. And they can treat it."_

  
_"I just don't care. I don't care if I'm sick, I don't care if it hurts I really don't care I just wish we could have a baby. That's all I want but it's like everything is trying to prevent it. "Our baby's still there and it hurts so much, I can still feel it... I can still fucking feel the cramps and it's - i-it's-"_

  
_"Shhhh," Violet wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer._  
_"We'll get that soon. We'll have our own little family, me and you, I promise."_

  
~~~~~~

  
Violet was sitting on the sofa, book in hand as she hummed slightly to herself. Clementine was at work, and would be there a while, and Violet had finished everything on her to do list, so what better way to spend it than to kick back and relax?  
She savored moments like this, but they always felt empty without her wife.  
As she sighed, brushing through her ashy locks, she was interrupted by a knock at the door. Visitors weren’t uncommon, probably the mailman or those weird environment people. Violet wasn't wearing much, her striped sleep shorts that were actually Clem's and her pink tank top - she wasn't worried about revealing too much, if anything, she was just hoping she'd scare whoever was there away.  
She got up and walked over to the door, and had barely turned the door knob when the door was forced open, and she was pushed against the wall. 

  
"What the-"

  
“Hey baby.” 

  
She looked up with wide eyes at the girl holding her against the wall, the door now was completely open and the woman stood in front of her.

  
_Minerva._

  
Minerva used her foot to close the door, while keeping a good grip on Violet’s wrists and squeezing them hard.  
Why me?

  
“Missed me?” She asked, moving her head closer to the blondes. Violet was shaking, staring at the girl with wide, terrified eyes. It was getting harder to breathe, harder to move, harder to look away.  
"You ignored me last month at Sophie's shower. Was that because Clem was waiting for you?" She said quietly, leaning in closer and whispering to the blonde.  
"Because I don't see her here now."

  
“M-Minerva?!” She stuttered, hyperventilating as she stared at her ex, struggling her wrists under the red-heads tight grip. "Get out, I'm calling the - fuck!"

  
“Does it hurt? Now you know what it's like in prison, not fun, is it? We didn't get to chat about that. You and your little housewife got me locked up for trying to save you!" Minerva mocked, tightening her grip. 

  
Violet ignored the streams of tears going down her face, as she focused on getting free.

  
"Stop fucking struggling it's never got you anywhere except where you fucking belong!"

  
“Minnie please!” Her voice was hoarse and desperate, tears streamed her face and she was becoming hysterical. "Please please please I don't like it, it hurts me, please don't do it,"

  
“You see these? Do you fucking see this?" She yanked Violet’s wrist forward, brushing her thumb over the small scars and holding it tightly until her knuckles turned white.  
“I did these. _Me_. When you touch your little bitch, when you wrap your arms around her, those are my marks on your arm and they'll never go away!” She sneered. She slammed Violet’s wrist back on the wall before studying the terrified face in front of her. “You know what we should do? Let’s take a small trip down memory lane. Let's give you a taste,” She smirked, before dragging the blonde down towards the corner.

  
“No!” Violet screamed, desperate to get out of her ex’s grasp. She continued to thrash around as Minerva opened the coat closet. Violet screamed even more when she realized what Minerva was doing. “No! No! No! Please!” 

  
Minerva ignored the cries and pushed Violet in, before slamming the door shut and locking it. Violet quickly pushed herself into the corner, holding onto her knees, just praying the Louis or someone would come to the home soon. Clementine wouldn't be home for hours.  
“Please open the door!” She begged, but no response. She expected a response, a snark, a comment, but nothing. Violet expected the torture to continue but was proved wrong by the sound of the front door shutting.  
Now she had to spend the next few hours alone and in the dark.  
Minerva would always make sure the coat closet was locked. Why should this time be any different?

  
~~~~~~~~

  
Clementine put her key in the door and opened it cautiously, before finding it was already unlocked. She always told Violet to lock the door, and Violet always did... why not today?  
Usually when Clem got home from work Violet would jump on her and shower her with kisses, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, eager to hear about updates their ever growing baby and how her wife's day had been.  
But she wasn’t even in sight. In fact, Clementine saw no trace of her wife anywhere. The house was completely clean and perfect. Like somebody had cleaned a crime scene, ridding of all evidence of them being there.

  
“Violet?” She pulled off her boots and looked around confusedly before speaking louder.  
"Viiiiolet??"

  
“Clementine!” Violet wailed, her voice terrified and strained. Clementine’s ear perked up at the scream, and she ran down the hall towards the source, eager and anxious to find her wife. Violet began to cry again at the thought of her wife coming to save her - just as she always did.

  
“Violet where are you?!”

  
“Please let me out!” 

  
Clementine's head whipped around to the source of her wife’s voice, the coat closet. She ran towards it and turned the handle. It was locked, she turned the knob and hit the door as hard as she could with her shoulder until it broke open.   
By the time she had figured out where her wife was - she knew what had happened.  
Clementine’s eyes widened at the scene in front of her, Violet was huddled in the corner, holding her knees. Her eyes were wide and terrified, and there were tears streaming down her face, shaking uncontrollably. 

  
"I-"

  
She dropped to her knees and crawled towards her wife, enveloping her in her arms, breathing out calmly and stroking her hair as she clung to her chest.  
“Baby, what happened?”

  
Violet eyes widened. Her brain going back to when Minerva called her that as she held her against her will. She shook away her anger, closing her eyes and burying her nose into her wife's jacket 

  
“Please, don't call me that," 

  
Clementine pulled away, now looking at the distraught look on her wife's face.   
“Violet, what happened?” She demanded, holding her wife's hand.  
"Take it slowly, deep breaths. Just tell me what happened."

  
“M…. Minerva.” She stuttered out.

  
Clem’s eyes widened at the name. “What about her?”

  
“She came over. Forced herself in. She… She was holding me against the wall by my wrists. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want her to touch me. She was touching my scars. Saying I belonged to her. I told her to stop. I swear I did. I didn’t like it. I told her to stop why didn’t she-” 

  
"Shhh, she's gone. She's gone."

  
"She's never gone, not really... she was gone when you took me away. She was gone when she went to prison. She was gone at Sophie's baby shower - can't you see? She's never really gone, she... she just comes back!"

  
"She's gone this time. I promise you." She whispered as she brought her wife in for a hug again, rubbing her back soothingly. "Let's get you out of here. How... How long have you been here?"

  
"It must've been hours... I don't know. It was bright outside."

  
"It's dark now," She told her wife before sighing and resting her chin on her shoulder. "You must be hungry."

  
"I don't feel like eating. I feel like I'm gonna get sick."

  
"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

  
"I don't know what I need." Her eyes were wide as her body wracked with sobs again, "I don't feel safe."

  
"Come on," She took her hand, standing up with her wife before putting both her hands on her forearms and rubbing them as she led her to the car.  
"I'm just gonna take you to the hospital."

  
"No! No, no, I'm okay, I'm okay," Violet seemed to have snapped out of her trance, now clinging to her wife's shirt for safety.  
"I'm okay I just don't wanna stay here tonight. I don't want her to come back, I don't want her to come back when you're here, I don't want her to hurt you, I don't want her to hurt the baby-"

  
"Vi, shhh," The brunette held her wife on the porch of their home, rocking her slightly. "She won't hurt you. She's not going to come back. I'll call the police, and I'll call Louis to come over for a while. Okay? But you need help."

  
"I'm not going to the hospital."

  
"That's okay, will you get into bed for a while and drink some water for me? And eat?"

  
"Yeah..." Violet frowned, "Will you... stay with me?"

  
"Of course I will, okay? Come on. Let's get inside,"

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Clementine opened the door to her bedroom, tilting her head to examine her wife who was bundled up beneath blankets as she brought the plate towards her. She placed it on the table beside the bed and sat down, smoothening out Violet's hair and brushing through it.  
"How are you feeling?"

  
Violet shrugged beneath the blankets. "I'm okay. I don't feel like getting up."

  
"That's okay, you don't have to," She leaned down to kiss her exposed forehead before sitting up again. "Listen, I know you've had a rough day, but I just got off the phone with the nurse, the one who told us we were having a boy? You know her, well... She's gone and got it wrong."

  
Violet furrowed her brows and opened her mouth to speak, but Clementine interrupted her.  
"It's a girl, Vi. She said she was looking over it again. We're most definitely having a girl."

  
"How does a nurse for seventeen years, get that wrong?"

  
"She was kind of old, to be fair..." Clementine chuckled, taking Violet's exposed hand from beneath the covers. "You wanna know something?"

"Yeah, sure."

  
"I think I felt the baby moving today."

"Really?!"

  
"Really!" A smile, "You won't be able to feel yet. But it was right here," She guided her wife's hand towards the spot. "I've been waiting to tell you all day but my phone died at work and I forgot my charger."

  
Violet rubbed her thumb over the area and smiled brightly as her eyes captivated the sight.  
"I love our baby. I'm still confused about what we're having but I don't care. I love our baby."

  
"I love our baby too." She smiled before kissing her wife's forehead again and standing up.  
"There's some pancakes here for you," she took the plate, putting it on the bed beside her. "Louis can't come over. Sophie fainted today so he had to take her to the doctor, but he'll call you later. Try get some more rest."

  
"I will. I love you."

  
~~~~~~~~~~~

  
Violet had slept the entire night, but not peacefully. She'd wake up from nightmares every few minutes with furrowed eyebrows, she'd whine in her sleep and Clementine would constantly brush her hair to try and calm her.  
By the time the morning rolled around, she was feeling only slightly better. She woke up and stretched before turning to look at her wife who was also awake.  
"Good morning, beautiful." Violet smiled, reaching up to tug her wife's curls. "Your hair's getting long."

  
"Mhm," She hummed, smiling as Violet played with her hair.

  
"Are you doing alright? You had a rough sleep."

  
"I'm okay." Violet nodded slightly, twisting Clementine's hair into a braid. She smiled.

  
"I love your hair so much."

  
"I love yours. I hope our daughter has your blonde hair."

  
"Has she moved?"

  
"I think so. I'm not sure."

  
"What's it feel like?"

  
"Mmm," She pursed her lips in thought, "Like a, well, I don't know... I can't describe it. Kinda like butterflies in my belly. But I can't tell if that's the baby moving, or just my body's natural reaction to being around you,"

  
Violet smiled, snuggling into her wife's neck. "You're cute."

  
"You're the cutest in the world." She pressed a kiss to her head, wrapping her arm around her and keeping her wife close.  
"Lee gets out of prison soon."

  
"Oh shit, yeah. I forgot about that. That's gonna be great. I can't wait to see him,"

  
"Neither can I. It'll be nice to actually have a family member in our lives. Even if I never hear from my dad or mom again, I'm fine with him. He'll make a great grandpa,"

  
"Don't tell him that." Violet chuckled, "You'll make him feel old. He's not old, he's experienced. Best guy I know!"

  
"The love you have for my uncle is insane."

  
"Your uncle is the one who took me in when my dad kicked me out. We never would've gotten married if it weren't for him, and never would've had a baby if it weren't for his support. So yeah, I have insane love for him, like I have insane love for you. We never would've saw each other if it weren't for him," Violet leaned up slightly to kiss her cheek before putting a hand to her belly and splaying her fingers, making sure to caress the entire surface.

  
"You love our baby."

  
"I want our baby to love me," Violet smiled, scooting down closer to her belly and moving her head towards it. "Can I rest my head beside her? Will it hurt?"

  
"Go ahead, softie."

  
"I'm not soft." Violet gently eased her cheek against her wife's stomach, pressing her lips to the bump before smiling and drawing circles on it.

  
"What are you drawing?"

"I'm drawing your face so she knows what you look like."

  
"What do I look like?"

  
"You have a cute nose. It's perfect. I like it so much. And you have pretty lips, peach colored. They're pretty and soft," She explained, closing her eyes and smiling as she spoke from memory.

  
"You got big, pretty doe eyes. They're like pools of honey, golden rings swirling around in molten copper liquid, just... perfect. And your skin is soft. Like your hair. Your skin is warm and soft and I love to lay with you because I feel like I don't even need a blanket with you," She explained before opening her eyes and looking up at her wife.

  
"You like my eyes?"

  
"More than you like my eyes." She smiled.

  
Both women sat there in their peaceful moment for a few minutes, with Violet leaning down to peck her wife's belly every few seconds.   
Their peaceful moment was interrupted by Violet's phone ringing on the table beside the bed. Violet whined and dropped her ear to Clementine's stomach, not bothering to answer, and so the brunette did it for her.

  
"Hello - woah, woah, Sophie, slow down!" She spoke with intensity. Violet perked her head up, looking at her wife with a confused expression and furrowed eyebrows. She continued to rub circles on her belly as she spoke on the phone before Clementine eventually seemed to end the call.

  
"Alright, alright, we're coming," She sighed and ended the call, putting the phone on the bed. Violet sat up now, awaiting to here what her wife had to say.  
Clementine sighed and took Violet's hands in her own.

  
"Louis has been arrested-"

  
"He's what??" Violet's jaw dropped.

  
"Holy fuck - what? What did he do?"

  
"Apparently, after I told him about what Minerva did to you yesterday, he went to find her."

  
"Is she okay??"

  
"She's fine, he just punched her," Clementine threw her legs over the side of the bed and tied her hair up, "seven times. She's lost a few teeth and got a black eye. Sophie's freaking out, they got him earlier this morning."

  
"Poor Sophie..." Violet frowned, a sickening, guilty feeling entering her stomach. "We shouldn't have told him."

  
"Violet. He would've wanted to know. He made a bad decision, babe, but it's not your fault, this is all down to Minerva." Clementine softly placed her hand on her wife's before standing up. "Let's get dressed and go see Sophie. She shouldn't be alone right now."

  
"Yeah." Violet shook her head, "She shouldn't be alone." Violet stood up slowly, beginning fixing the bed as her wife rushed to throw on her robe. It was then that Clementine winced and grabbed her side, she leaned against the closet and huffed causing panic to flee to her wife.

  
"Clem! Are you okay?" She rushed towards her, putting a hand on her back and assisting her as she leaned against the door of the closet.  
"Oh no, oh no, what's wrong!?"

  
"I'm okay, I'm okay," the brunette swore, "I'm fine. I probably got up too fast. I just got dizzy."

  
"You don't feel pain when you get dizzy!" Violet insisted, flailing her arms around. "Sit down. You're sitting down. You're resting. Sophie can wait,"  
"I'm okay!"

  
"I don't care! Thirty minutes, get into bed!" Violet insisted, pointing her wife towards the still messy bed. "I'll make breakfast and do the laundry. Get some rest. If that pain doesn't go away within thirty minutes - you're going to hospital."

  
"I'm not in pain!"

  
"I'm nOT iN pAiN, get into bed, Clem." Violet looked at her sternly.  
"I'm taking care of you whatever the cost."

  
~~~~~~~~~

  
Violet pulled the car to stop once they were inside the gates of Sophie and Louis's large estate. It was quite private, with large pine trees dotting around the walls of it. Louis had purchased it originally to try and appeal to Sophie - he'd not been making much use of his money at the time - but Sophie swore she loved him before he owned the estate, and would love him without it all the same.  
Violet let go of a deep breath before unstrapping herself, eyes falling to her wife who sat beside her, somewhat quiet the entire drive. Violet's hair was still somewhat wet from her quick shower, and it dropped all along the car seat as she looked at her wife.

"You okay?"

  
"I'm alright."

  
"Is the baby moving?"

  
"I dunno," She was in a trance as she stared out the window, a hand coming to rub the lower part of her stomach.  
"I think she's sleeping. Maybe she likes car drives."

  
Violet smiled so wide that her teeth could be seen.   
"Let's go see Sophie."

  
Clementine unstrapped herself and both stood out, their first sight being the redhead in the arms of Louis's mother, sobbing profusely with a cloth held up to her face. Violet felt guilty - and underdressed - as she and Clementine walked up towards the girl who stood at the porch.  
"No updates?" Violet was the first to speak.

  
The redhead shook her head before lunging towards Clementine and enveloping her in a tight hug, sobbing into her shoulder.  
"He hurt Minnie! He gave her a black eye! Why would he do that?? I don't understand!"

  
"I'm sure he wouldn't do it without a valid reason. Louis is smart." She replied, looking at her wife unsurely.

  
Violet pursed her lips and looked down at the grass beneath her feet. Sophie hadn't been told about what Minerva had done to Violet. She knew their relationship was toxic - but she didn't know about the locking in small, enclosed spaces or the starving or the hair pulling and ripping of clothing - none of it. Violet was too ashamed, and Sophie wouldn't believe her anyway.

She hadn't come to any of the court meetings, she was mad at Violet for having her sister arrested in the first place and Violet was just lucky that her case never got picked up by news articles.  
Not that Sophie would've read them, anyway.

  
Sophie released Clementine from her hug and turned to the brunette's wife, eyes overflowing with tears. Violet felt guilty. If she hadn't told Clem what Minerva did, then Clem wouldn't have told Louis and Louis wouldn't have-

  
"Violet," She began, taking her cloth up to dot away the drops.  
"I don't know what to do. He was with me all day yesterday, I had a fall, he didn't leave me side, we went to the doctor and everything so see if our princess was okay and he was so good with me. I woke up and he was with me. He must've gone during the night, I... I just don't understand it..."

  
"I'm sorry, Sophie." Violet apologized, "Like Clem said, he's smart. He'll be home soon. Is your baby okay?"

  
"She just misses her dad. He's never usually away, he hasn't gone to work since I got pregnant, he just wants to be with us."

  
_Oh my god, shut up_. Violet thought to herself, but she couldn't say that. Not with the state her friend was in.  
She smiled.

  
"Let's go inside and talk, Sophie."

  
~~~~~~~~

  
Violet sat awkwardly on the large chair, rubbing her hands together nervously as her wife comforted their friend. She always admired Clementine's levelheadedness, how she could keep her cool even around the worst people. When her parents threw her out, she simply went and got her stuff and left. She didn't fight or scream or shout - not like Violet had done, she simply accepted defeat and left.

  
And it was honestly the best decision she had ever made.

  
Sophie's sniffling died down when her phone pinged and she reached across from it, dabbing her tears away with her cloth - she read the message - and gasped.

  
"What is it? What's wrong?"

  
"Minerva's been arrested!" She screeched as she began to cry again, "Mom said they came to the hospital to talk to her about something and when she was discharged, they took her! She didn't do anything wrong! She's the victim!"

  
_Always the victim._

  
"Louis hurt her! Louis hurt my sister, she didn't do anything wrong!"

  
_Your sister hurt my wife._

  
"How am I ever supposed to have a family like this?"

  
_Imagine how I feel._

  
The front door opened and Sophie stood up, rushing quickly towards it. The archway to the hallway allowed everyone from inside to see what was going on, but Violet and Clem still followed Sophie.

  
"Why would you do that?!" The redhead cried as he entered the home. He shamefully closed the door behind him and shook his head before going to walk up the stairs.

  
"I'm not done with you! Tell me why you hurt her!"

  
"You don't even know if it was me for sure who did it. Just leave it alone," He replied before walking the whole way up the stairs. The redhead stomped her foot before following him.

  
"I'm calling off our engagement!"

  
~~~~~~~~~

  
"None of this is your fault, okay? This is all down to Minerva. Don't blame yourself." Clementine told her wife as she undid her seatbelt and got out of the car.   
Violet stayed seated for a few minutes, leaning her head against her hand on the window. Clementine walked around the other side of the car and knocked on the window until Violet moved her arm away, she then opened the door. 

  
"Violet, come on. Don't let this bring you down,"

  
"I'm not, I'm okay," She popped out her seatbelt and stood up, freeing herself from the farm Violet closed the door behind her and went to take her wife in her arms when the brunette hissed in pain again.

  
"What's wrong?!"

  
"It's my side," She explained, pressing it hardly as Violet wrapped one arm around her waist.  
"Fuck, it hurts so bad,"

  
"What do you think it is?"

  
"I don't know, I don't know, but it hurts so, so bad... it's like a dull ache and it's - fuck!"

  
"Hospital. Now. We're going to the hospital."

  
"Violet, we can't aff-"

  
"Get in the car, we're going to the hospital."


	7. no matter what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls anxiously await Clementine's diagnosis, but who's in more danger? Their baby, or Clem?

Hours had passed and Clementine had finally been admitted to the hospital. Her condition seemed to worsen, then get better, then worsen again and so on. Violet knew that hospitals held a lot of bad memories and trauma when it came to her wife, and that being in one and not knowing the state of their baby was probably tugging at her memories in the worst way possible, so she tried her best to be sensitive for her. Violet buttoned up her wife's hospital gown before tying her hair up for her, making sure . She fluffed up the pillow on her bed and brought down the knitted blanket so she could slip her feet in. Once Clementine was in the bed, she pulled the blanket over her and sat down on the chair beside her bed, her concerned eyes roving over her wife's body as she connected their hands tightly.

Violet made sure the blanket was neat around her wife's neck before she spoke, stroking Clementine's forehead.   
"Clem, how are you feeling now? Are you cooling down yet?" She asked softly, taking her hand to her lips and kissing the back of it gently before rubbing over the skin with her thumb. Violet knew that the best way to calm down her wife was with physical touch.

The brunette turned her head, laying back flat on the bed. Violet sat hunched over, focusing all her attention on kissing and reassuring her wife. She smiled at her wife tiredly as she kissed her hand again, before speaking. "I'm better with you here." She promised in a hushed and raspy-from-crying voice, "My pretty girl."

Violet raised an eyebrow, she stopped rubbing her hand and stared at her wife for a few seconds.  
"Listen love, be honest with me. If you're not feeling well, I want to know. Who's gonna give me flattery compliments if my girl is sick?"

Clementine rolled her eyes playfully before speaking to her wife honestly, "I'm just really tired. Being in pain is exhausting."

"I know, my love, I hope they tell us what's wrong soon. I hope you can come home soon. I don't wanna go home without you. I need my knight in shining armor to keep me safe."

"Shhh, I'm right here." She smiled, reaching a weak hand up to ruffle her wife's hair before closing her eyes tiredly and settling back with a hand rested on her stomach.  
"I'm just worried about baby."

"They said it's nothing to do with the pregnancy, though I don't know how much I trust them..." Violet's lips pursed into a frown. She leaned up slightly before standing, pressing a kiss to her wife's lower cheek. Clementine looked anxiously up at her wife, worried that she was about to leave.  
"Do you want me to go get you some warm pyjama's and something nice to drink?"

"What? No! I don't want you to leave me..." Her bottom lip trembled as if she were about to cry, "Vi, I don't wanna be alone right now, please..."

"I was just gonna run down and get you something from the store. I can call Brody and ask her to get you your pyjamas or Ruby? I won't leave if you don't want me to."

"But they don't have the keys."

"Clem, I'll take care of it, okay?" Violet pressed her lips to her temple. "Will you please have some water? The doctors said it might help shift the pain."

"But I'm not in pain..." She frowned as Violet placed both hands on her wife's face and cuddled her close to her chest.  
"I'm worried about the baby. I'm really worried about her."

"She's strong, just like you, okay? I guarantee she's a fighter," She began, sliding her hand under to cover to rub her belly, "Maybe it's just too early to feel it, but I guarantee she's kicking around in there. She's like "Mom! I'm so strong! Can you feel me?" I promise!"

"You're so silly," She tangled Violet's hair around her finger, the worry creeping up her throat again.  
"Get me some water?"

"Of course. I'll be right back," She slipped away from the bed, walking out of the ward before her wife stopped her again.

"Vi, it's starting again,"

Violet turned around and rushed back to her wife, she raced to her side and once she was there, held her hand tightly.  
"Breathe."

"It's really painful, I feel like I'm being stabbed," She said with short breaths leaving her mouth and nose, tears welled in her eyes. "It gets worse when I breathe in, I need the doctor,"

"I'll get her," Violet kissed her forehead, "Keep thinking about our baby. I'll be right back," Violet said before reluctantly leaving the room, running down the hall to find the doctor who was luckily already walking up their way.  
"Excuse me? I brought my wife in for pain earlier today, she's eighteen weeks pregnant, Clementine Everett?"

"I was just on my way up to you with your wife's test results."

"She's in pain again," Violet then added. The nurse nodded with a Stern expression and followed Violet as she ran back to her wife. Once they entered the ward, the pain seemed to have passed and the brunette lay her head back against the pillow, sweat dripping down her face as she took in little breaths.

"Hey," Violet was quiet as she walked over, taking her hand gently. "Pain gone?" She asked as she sat beside her on the bed, Clementine then shifted up to lean her head against Violet's chest.

"Mmm," She hummed with a hand rubbing across her stomach, "She's moving."

Violet reached her hand out slowly and placed it on top of her wife's belly, rubbing in circles slowly before pressing a kiss to her temple.  
"My poor angels."

The nurse cleared her throat, standing at the end of the bed with her clipboard. "So Clementine, you came into us about... four hours ago, that's correct?"

"That's correct," Violet answered for her tired wife.

"And we did tests, and... yeah, okay... So it appears you have appendicitis. This is a condition where your appendix becomes swollen, inflamed or filled with pus, and it's more common in pregnant women than you think, so don't worry too much about that. Your ultrasound showed nothing wrong with your baby, she doesn't seem to be disturbed by the appendix whatsoever. Now obviously, we can't be sure with just an ultrasound given your current state, so we're going to do a white blood cell count before diagnosing the severity of it. Any cramps?"

"She was having cramps," Violet said, looking down at her wife as she wiped away the sweat from her forehead. "A few weeks ago, but they went away. Is that bad?"

"No, not at all, it's likely that those cramps were unrelated then. Probably just regular cramps for the uterus expanding." She looked to the brunette before putting her clipboard down and waking around to the other side of the bed.  
"I just wanna have a look at your abdomen," 

Violet scooted over as the doctor pulled away the blanket and began examining her wife's abdomen. She felt nervous as she spoke, a million questions running through her mind.

"Will Clem have to have surgery?"

"I can't say so yet. We try to avoid surgery during pregnancy as much as we can. We don't know yet if the appendix is about to burst, but if its not, then it's likely it can be treated with antibiotics," The woman said, pressing down on the brunette's abdomen as Violet took her hand in her own.

"But if she does need surgery, if it's about to burst, won't she have to wait until after the baby's born? What if it bursts, what happens then? Will she be okay, will the baby be okay?"

"I'll answer more when we know the severity."

"Please just tell us." Violet sighed, rubbing her temples, "I want to know all the possibilities."

The nurse sighed before standing up straight from over the brunette's abdomen. She looked at Violet before speaking.  
"If it were to burst, it would be life threatening for both your wife and your daughter. If it were a case that she were further along and the appendix were about to burst, we could induce labor and have the baby out before surgery, but it's not the case. While this is obviously not an ideal situation, the second trimester is the best one for surgery. I promise you that it's absolutely safe and won't happen unless it's absolutely necessary."

Violet nodded, looking over at her wife who looked back with nervous eyes. Violet shifted over closer to her and grabbed her hand, stroking her cheek with her free one.  
"Hey, it's alright." She promised, taking her hand up to kiss it.

Clementine nodded anxiously as the doctor stepped away from her and both women listened to what she had to say.

"I'm going to take your blood and send it to the lab. I'll prioritize your results given that you're still early in your pregnancy, give me a moment," She smiled awkwardly before walking out of the room.

Violet turned to look at her wife who now had tears streaming her cheeks. The blonde leaned down lower to her and wiped them again before placing a kiss on her forehead.  
"It's okay to be scared. But you've got through everything so far up until this point. Why should it be any different?"

"Because it's out of my control this time."

"Shhh..." She smoothened out her wife's hair, pressing another kids to her forehead as she sniffled. "Whatever happens, I'm gonna be with you, okay? If you need surgery, I'll be the last one you see when you close your eyes and the first you see when you open them. That's my promise."

The doctor came back in, and Violet sat up to look at her with a smile before noticing the woman's change of demeanor.  
"Is everything alright?"

"When's the last time Clementine had her vitamin D levels checked?"

"What? Never. We never looked into it, is something wrong with them?"

The doctor walked over to the bed and took the brunette's arm, examine it closely. She pressed on her skin and though it was mildly uncomfortable, Clementine didn't flinch.

"Bone weakness... Red blood cell count?"

"I - I don't know, the doctor we go to never did any of that, she said she was fine!" Violet was panicking, felt tears pricking at her eyes but refused to cry, instead taking her wife's hand.

"Alright, I'll have to do those, too." She sat down, taking out the needle and attaching it to the tube. She left it by the bed before taking Clementine's arm and feeling around for the vein.  
"It looks like you're incredibly deficient of vitamin D. This can cause quite a few problems, extreme fatigue, anxiety, depression and in your case, diabetes, pre-eclampsia, pre-term birth or very small baby that would have a hard time gaining weight. You're coming up to a stage now where pretty much everything in that area is developing for your baby so if you're deficient - we need to act now." She said as she pricked the brunette's skin with the needle.

"How could you cure it?" Clementine asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice, "Go out in the sun more? Drink more orange juice?"

"I think this is out of your control. This isn't because you're not drinking enough orange juice or anything, even if you did get enough sun, it wouldn't help you in the slightest. This is just a medical thing. We're going to put you on medication for a while just for the next three months, you only take it twice a month."

Clementine nodded and as soon as her blood was done, the nurse was already on her way to the lab with it. But that didn't shake the fear crawling into her stomach and entering her chest, causing a tightness and a mount of thoughts to enter around it. She clung to Violet's shirt and soon enough, Violet noticed what was wrong.

"Clem, breathe, you're panicking," Violet told her, rubbing her back soothingly before burying her face in her neck.  
"Everything's okay. Everything's going to be absolutely fine, alright? We'll meet our baby girl in a few months from now and this will all be a bad dream. We'll sing her to sleep and we'll cuddle her in bed and we'll shower her with love and kisses and we won't even remember that today happened."

"V-Viol-Violet, I feel sick,"

"Are you gonna get sick?"

"My head-"

"Shhh, it's okay," Violet kissed her forehead before opening the drawer beside the bed and pulling out on of the small bags the hospital provided.  
"Here, here, look,"

"I feel - I don't, I'm not well,"

"Baby, shhhh," Violet held the bag in front of her wife's face, rubbing her back with her hand.  
"Do you want to go to the bathroom and see if you can do it?"

"I don't think I can walk,"

"That's what I'm for,"

"Y-You can't carry me,"

"Of course I can, why else would I work out?" She questioned. Violet left the bag in her wife's hands, just in case she needed it, before sliding off of the bed and outstretching her arms for her wife's weak body. Violet took the second she had to take in her wife's appearance. She had got significantly paler since they'd gotten to the hospital, she was shaking with fever and sweating profusely and also seemed too weak to even hold her wife's hand at this stage. Violet wonder if the panic attack had really taken all her energy away, or if it were some other underlying condition.

Violet reached out, catching her wife's hand and slipping her free arm underneath her legs, she hooked her elbow there and held her wife tightly.  
"You're okay, I got you," She told her as she began the short walk to the bathroom, merely two beds away.

Clementine smiled weakly up at her wife, "Struggling?"

"No, not at all,"

"Yes you are."

"I carried you up like ten thousand flights of stairs on our wedding night."

"I wasn't pregnant back then."

"Touche."

Once they reached the bathroom, Clementine used her hands to open the door, and then as they were inside, Violet carefully dropped her wife to her feet, keeping her hands on her hips as she did so.  
"Are you okay?"

"Dizzy."

"Alright, I'm gonna lock the door," She leaned over, one hand still on her wife's hip, and locked the door before coming back to her wife. Violet took Clementine to sit in the lid of the toilet before she got a paper towel and ran it under some cold water for her.  
Violet walked over to her wife, wet towel in hand, and dabbed it across her face for her.

Clementine smiled with her eyes closed, "This is what you signed up for, eh?"

"I didn't sign up for anything. I married you. You didn't force me to marry you, I asked you to marry me, actually." She said triumphantly before dabbing the cloth across her wife's shoulders and collarbones.

"In your tiny apartment."

"I wanted it to be romantic..."

"It was cute. You were all, 'Hey. I really love you. And I hope you say yes, will you marry me?' and I sobbed like a baby,"

"I was worried you wouldn't think I was being serious."

"I was worried that you weren't being serious... but I was so happy when I realized you were. And even if my parents kicked me out a day later, I don't care, just means I got to permanently move in with you earlier!"

"Exactly," Violet said before throwing the wet towels in the trash.  
"Are you gonna get sick?"

"I don't feel like I am."

"Alright. Can I look at your tummy?"

"Are you are you a doctor?"

"No but I wanna talk to our little girl. I've spent all this time reassuring her mommy, I wanna make sure she's okay, too," She said as she bent down towards her wife's belly and pressed her ear to it.  
"What are you doing in there, baby girl?"

"Wiggling."

"She's probably trying to reassure you that everything's gonna be okay."

"Or she's just moving cause that's what babies do?"

"Hush." Violet furrowed her brows before pressing a kiss to her wife's stomach, "Your poor body is going through so much. But you're still the most beautiful human being to ever walk to planet. How do you do it, Clem?"

"Pregnancy glow."

"You're pretty without it," Violet smiled before kissing her tummy once more. "Let's get you back into bed."

~~~~~~

The grey home stood still in the wind, accompanied by the waves of the water swishing and swashing backwards and forwards. All was peaceful, except for the screaming and shouting of one particular redhead as she walked up to the home.

"I'll give her something to be traumatized about!" Sophie screamed as she walked up to the small house by the bay, banging at the door.  
"Violet - open up!"

"Will you let it go?!" Her boyfriend spoke with anger and frustration, reaching out to pull her arm away from the door. "Get over it Sophie, just get it over it!"

"Don't shout at me! I'm pregnant with your baby!" She screamed back before banging at the door again.  
"VI- Brody?!" She looked confused as the auburn haired girl opened the door instead of the blonde.  
"Where's Violet? I need to see her, now."

"Vi and Clementine are still at the hospital, I just came over to get Clem some clean pyjama's." The girl replied, looking at both angry expressions as they contorted to a mixture of fear, mortification and worry.  
"I thought Vi would've told you..."

"Hospital??" Louis repeated, "What? Why? Told us what? Is Clem okay? Is Vi okay??"

"Is the baby okay?" Sophie had completely gone pale and changed her tone at this news, making her boyfriend wonder if she was sincere or not.

"I don't know. Violet just said Clem was in a lot of pain, so she rushed her to the hospital and she's been admitted." She explained before narrowing her eyes at the redhead.  
"Why were you banging at the door, Sophie?"

"Um..."

"Which hospital are they at?"

"Keystone. I'm heading back there now-"

"Can I come with you?" Louis asked his friend, ignoring the betrayed expression on his partners face.

Brody nodded before stepping back in to retrieve the pyjama's and phone chargers and such for the girls, leaving Louis with Sophie who was red with anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"If you were in hospital, I'd want Violet there with me, too." He said firmly, "And considering the fact they lost their baby before and I wasn't there for them? I'm not letting that happen again."

Brody stepped out of the house and locked the door behind her with one hand.  
"Let's go, Lou."

~~~~~~

Clementine had been crying for nearly fifteen minutes against her wife's chest, a startling situation had occurred and trigger the girls memories and now Violet was doing her best to calm her down. 

"Violet!" Clementine cried as her wife tried to calm her down, "I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding,"

"Babe, shhh, shhh, it's not a miscarriage, I promise," Violet rubbed her arms, "She's okay,"

Her wife continued to cry, clinging to her shirt as if it were the only thing that could keep her safe. Violet had never seen her wife so emotional or stressed out in their entire relationship. They'd been in the hospital for eight hours and Clementine had already had three panic attacks and had spent most of her time sobbing into her wife's shirt and repeating that she didn't wanna be alone.

"There was blood."

"The doctors said you're fine, baby, it's just that they did an examination there and it caused the slightest bit of bleeding. You've had a bad day, you should get some sleep,"

"I have to wait for my bloods."

"Clem, if it comes back that you need surgery, I want you to be rested. Okay?" She rubbed her wife's stomach in circles as she leaned her head against the brunette's. "You're a strong woman and I'm so proud of you. Will you please get some sleep for me?"

Clementine sniffled, burying her face into Violet's shirt.  
"I don't wanna lose her, Vi, I really don't, she's the only thing keeping me going. We got this far so I just don't understand why it's not working. Why does everything go wrong when everything's going right?"

"I don't know, love, but one thing I do know, is that we're strong and we can do this ourselves together," She kissed her forehead, "Clem, if I could've, I would've carried her for you, you know that, right?"

"I know."

"But you know why I didn't. But if it came down to it, I'd do it for you the second time around."

"I don't even wanna put you through that. If you even were able to get pregnant, if you didn't miscarry first... you'd be in so much pain. If we ever wanna have another baby, we'll adopt, that's my verdict."

"Yeah, cause we're TOTALLY what the adoption agencies are looking for," Violet giggled before noticing somebody walk in the ward, looking confused. Violet perked up at the auburn hair and smiled.  
"Hey Brody, over here," She waved.

The girl rushed over, dropping the items on the tray at the end of the bed before giving her blonde friend an awkward hug.  
"Oh you guys had me so scared! Is the baby alright?"

"She's fine." Violet smiled tiredly as her hand was practically glued to her wife's belly. "We're waiting on blood results, but it's looking like Clem's got appendicitis. If it comes back, she's gonna be rushed into surgery."

"Oh my god... Can they even do surgeries when you're pregnant? I didn't know that was a thing..." She covered her mouth, "How are you feeling, Clem?"

"Tired..."

"She's had a rough day." Violet replied for her wife as she rubbed her arm.  
"Listen, I hate to ask more of you, but if she's in surgery and I write up a list, do you mind going to get some stuff for her? I want her to be comfortable and all she's done is complain about the hospital bed."

"It's really uncomfy!"

Brody chuckled, "Sure, I'll go." She looked towards the entrance of the ward as Louis came walking in with some items in his hands.  
"You took your time," She giggled.

Louis walked around the corner and into the area where the girls were with a sheepish smile. Why was he so nervous?  
"Hey guys." He greeted shyly.

"Oh hey," Violet smiled genuinely, "I didn't know you were coming."

"Met up with Brody last minute. How are you doing, Clem?" He was quiet as he asked the girl who only hummed and snuggled into Violet.

Violet smiled at her wife, "Clementine's really tired. They think she has appendicitis. They said she could be treated with antibiotics but it's more likely that they'll perform a surgery before tomorrow, which is... unsettling, to say the least."

"And the baby?"

"She's okay. She's like her mom, strong as fuck."

Louis furrowed his eyebrows. "She?"

"Long story. Nurse got it wrong, not a boy, we're having a girl, bam."

"Oh, damn." He laughed, "Well, congrats on your girl, I guess,"

"Thanks..." Violet lay back slightly, making sure her wife was secure at her side before the doctor came back.  
"Have you got her results?" She asked nervously. Both Brody and Louis stepped to the side, listening alongside the girls as the doctor told them the verdict.

"Appendicitis. Our safest bet now would be to remove the appendix. I'll have to explain everything to you quickly because we need to start prepping Clementine for surgery now," She told them all before locking eyes with Violet, "Ms Everett, if I could talk to you about her results for a moment in private?"

Violet anxiously shifted, looking down at her wife who was almost sound asleep beside her. She frowned and kissed her forehead, beginning to move away when the brunette winced and clung to her. "No, stay,"

"Shhh, I won't be long."

"Ms Everett, please," The doctor asked again, "It's about your baby."

Violet felt her face go pale at those words, and suddenly it was like the entire room was silent. Clementine's eyes fluttered open at the words.

"What's wrong with my baby??"


	8. here we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine recovers in hospital with the help of her wife, both try to focus on things to cope with the news about their baby. Violet is contacted by somebody they didn't think they'd hear from again, but is it good thing or a bad thing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this chapter was pretty hard to write. I'm going through some stuff with my health and it's affecting my mental state, so I apologise in advance for this shit show. I hope you enjoy and I hope you're excited for what's to come.

Violet sat quietly against the chair outside the operating room, her arms crossed over her chest. Clementine's surgery would only be an hour at most, they had said, yet here she was almost two hours later with a hole forming in her heart and a sickening feeling creeping up her stomach. She leaned her head against the wall and sighed tiredly. It was bearing twelve in the morning.

"Will you please tell me what's going on with the baby?" Brody asked quietly once she sat down, cup of water in hand for her friend.  
"You haven't said much since you came back from the chat with the doctor."

"And I'm not going to. I only want to talk to Clem."

"Violet, please? Is something wrong with the baby? I want to know how I can help,"

"You can't help." She said sternly, not meeting her friends eyes. "You can't help. The doctors and nurses can't help. I can't help. It's just a waiting game. Nobody can help it." She said before letting out a deep breath.  
Violet turned to look at Brody with eyes full of tears and a trembling lip before she spoke.  
"She's been in there hours now. There's no way that the surgery went well."

Her friend's eyes softened and it became her duty to convince the blonde otherwise.  
"Hey, you don't know that. She's pregnant, so this isn't standard, okay? They're probably monitoring her... more than the average person. They probably had to do an ultrasound and stuff like that before even beginning the operation."

"Mmmm..." Violet looked down at the floor as Brody tossed through her hair in a comforting manner.  
Both were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of footsteps and soon enough, the doctor from before stood in front of them.

Violet got up so fast that she was almost knocked back down, she then decided it was safer to sit to hear the news instead. She then waited impatiently to hear what the doctor had to say.

"The surgeons getting cleaned up now so unfortunately she couldn't be here to tell you this, so I've been sent instead." A breath, "Your wife's in the recovery room and everything went as well as it should've. She was knocked out by the gas before we even gave her the anesthesia so she'll be waking up around now. You can head up to the room, she'll be up in the amount of time it takes for you to get there anyway."

Violet sighed with relief and run her fingers through her hair.  
"Thank God," She expressed with a wide smile, "I was so, so worried... And the baby?"

"She's doing well, but of course it's still a risk,"

"I know." The blonde nodded. "Can I stay and wait for her to come out of the recovery room? Or do I have to go to the room?"

The doctor smiled. "You do whatever you want but between me and you, I think your girl would appreciate the company."

Violet nodded with a nervousness still lingering in her demeanor.  
"Thank you."

"No problem." The woman smiled before walking away.

Violet turned to Brody, still looking nervous before she spoke.  
"Can you go up to the ward and make sure everything's ready for her? Make sure Louis has the right pyjamas for her, you know?"

"Are you sure you want to be alone?"

"I won't be alone much longer," Brody stood from her seat and began walking towards the elevator.  
"Thanks..." Violet mumbled quietly after she had left.  
The blonde sat alone for the next few minutes, tapping her knee and squeezing her thighs to try and prevent herself from tapping her knee. Her eyes stayed glued to the door of the recovery room until she saw her wife being wheeled out and shot up, bolting towards the nurses wheeling her.

"I - I'm her wife," She stuttered as she looked at them before looking down at her wife who lay in the bed, eyes closed, looking drowsy covered by the blanket. Violet took her hand in her own and kept it there until they got to the ward, not once did she even think about leaving her side.

They got to the ward and Violet watched as they moved her wife from one bed to the other, the first one being stained in iodine from her wife's clothing. They began to hook her up to all different kinds of machines, all while she stood, biting her nails.

The nurses talked to the blonde once they had finished but Violet merely waved them off so that she could be alone with her wife. She closed over the curtains once Louis and Brody had both decided to give her and Clementine alone time together.

Violet very carefully took a seat on the soft chair beside her and held her hand strongly, watching closely. It didn't take long for the brunette to stir, her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes tried to open and she shifted.

"Shhh," Violet sat up straight and came closer to her wife as she stroked her hand with her thumb. "You need to sleep."

"The baby-"

"She's okay, she needs sleep, too. Close your eyes, Clem, I'm not going anywhere." She promised, continuously stroking her wife's hand until her eyes fell closed. Violet had hoped that Clementine would fall asleep, but it seemed as though the brunette needed to talk some more before she did so.

"Vi..."

"Hm?"

She smiled tiredly, her eyes still closed, and Violet could tell that the medicine had not wore off in the slightest. But still, she listened.

"Thank you."

Violet was unsure what her wife was thanking her for. Thank you for being there? She would've been there anyway. Thank you for their baby girl? That was all Clem, in Violet's eyes. Her wife was the reason for her existence. Thank you for staying here? Violet couldn't pinpoint a single reason as to why her wife would have to thank her. Everything good in their life, it came from Clem.

But for the sake of Clementine getting some well needed snooze and not wasting energy arguing with her, Violet just went along with it.

"You're welcome." She whispered with a small grin, "Get some sleep, angel."

~~~~~~~

Clementine awoken the next day, sore and tender all over, but relatively okay. She'd been constantly updating her wife ever since she'd opened her eyes on their baby girl's current situation and sure enough, the little girl was always moving. Violet wondered if her wife was just saying this to make her feel better, but the smiles on her face whenever Clementine claimed to feel something told her otherwise.  
It hadn't taken Violet long to adjust to the carer role at all. She was basically more of a nurse than the actual nurse. 

The nurses hadn't been at all consistent in coming to check on and change Clementine's IV's, so the blonde took it upon herself to march down to the desk and inform whoever was there that her wife needed the bag changed. There hadn't been a single time where she had missed it. Clementine was well taken care of under her wife's control.

"Alrights, girls. They took that drain out earlier, which means you can finally eat something. I know you're both hungry, so fear not, I've cooked up some gourmet food for you," Violet insisted as she brought the tray closer to her wife's form, nudging the plate towards her. Clementine looked at her wife as if she had grown two heads before Violet nudged again.  
"It's toast, you like toast."

"But I want your pancakes."

"I'll make some when I go home and bring them in for you," She kissed her nose before sitting down gently on the bed beside her, not wanting the matress to dip too much should it upset her wife. Violet watched as lover reached out for the toast and took it in her hand, shaking as she brought it towards her lips.

"Vi, I don't feel strong,"

"Here," Violet cut in to the moment in a panic, taking the toast and breaking it up for her wife.  
"Want me to feed it to you?"

"I can feed myself. I just... need you to give it to me..." Clementine looked ashamed at the admittion. She truly wasn't feeling strong, still, but knew that would shift once she got something to eat.

"You said your shoulder was hurting, let me do this, okay?" Violet shifted closer to her wife and held the toast for her. "Open wide, here comes the choo-choo train!"

"I'm not a baby."

"Oh shush, you love it. Here comes the airplane! Wooosh!" Violet said as she gave her wife a bite of the food, watching her lips contort into an embarrassed smile at her little remark.  
"There! Good job, Clem."

"Shush." She cringed, swatting away her wife playfully before wiggling her toes beneath the blankets.  
"My toes are cold."

"I'll get your fluffy socks in one minute," Violet replied, taking the same slice of toast and holding it for her wife again, she waggled it teasingly. "Another bite?"

"Please?"

"You must be so hungry," Violet chuckled as she fed her one more bite. Violet watched cautiously as her wife finished off the slice before speaking.  
"You need something better than toast."

"Can you make me some more?" The brunette asked sheepishly.

"There's still three slices left."

"Can I have some more after that?"

"You can have whatever you want." Violet pressed her lips to her wife's forehead before she tucked her curls behind her ear. Violet reached for another slice before taking it to her wife, holding it in front of her.  
"Hey, before you know it, I'll be feeding our baby girl like this."

"..." Clementine was silent as she chewed, waiting until she swallowed the food to speak. "Are you calling me a baby?"

"I'm just saying you're helpless right now." Violet smiled. "Have you had enough?"

"Yeah," She mumbled, swallowing her toast as her eyes filled with tears. Violet watched silently, unsure of what to say. She just waited until her wife spoke.  
"I feel so useless."

"Clem,"

"I want to go home and be in my own bed!"

"I know you do, but they have to look after the baby," Violet was frowning as she sat closer to her wife, attempting to get closer to hug her while still being gentle. "Me and you can go for a walk if you like. I can take you through the gardens, or we can go down to the café and have some tea and a muffin. Nurses will need to change your bandages soon, so when they're done, we can walk, okay?"

"Ughhhh..." She whined, sliding lower on the bed and frowning.  
"Will you bring in the laptop when you go home tonight, please?"

"You can't balance it on your belly with stitches."

"Vi, please. I'm going crazy. I need stimulation."

"I'll bring it in, I'll need it for work anyway," Violet pressed a kiss to the corner of her wife's mouth. "Relax. Once your bandages are changed, I'll get you out for a while, okay?"

"Okay..."

~~~~~~

Violet held the bars of her wife's wheelchair with a tight grip on them, not once did she budge as she pushed her into the gardens of the hospital, taking her over and planting her beside a bench so Violet could sit and talk to her.

"There you go, fresh air," she took in a deep breath. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah..." She replied tiredly with a smile. Violet took in her expression - pale and tired. She furrowed her brows.

"Are you sure you feel okay? You don't look too well."

"I think the sudden... the suddeness of outside has given me a chill, but I'm okay," She promised, looking around the garden, she admired the flowers and tree's and how perfect they looked against the blue sky up above before hugging herself to stay warm. 

"Louis was talking to me," Violet began as her wife's eyes wondered around the area. "He wants me to convince you to have us move back into our old apartment. Away from Minerva. Louis owns the property, so we'd be getting away with that. More space for our little girl to run around. We'd be safe. And we'd be closer to the hospital. What do you think?"

Clementine looked at her plainly.  
"But... the bay. Wouldn't you miss all the stray cats that come our way?"

"Of course I would. But our house isn't big enough for a baby, Clem, and they grow really fast. I want her to have space. Moving out of that apartment was a bad idea to begin with," Violet expressed as she brought her wife's palm to her lips to press a reassuring kiss to it.

"I thought the house would've been a better place to have a family."

"We could totally have the baby there, but when she gets older, we can't stay. I'm just saying that I'd rather have all the moving done before she gets here. Do you understand?"

"I do..." Her lips pursed into a frown, "I want to move but the thoughts of having to pick up boxes again and all that shit... I just don't feel like I can. Plus, what do we do about the house? We're on limited time, here."

"Clem. Do you know how many fisherman would love to rent our home? It's right by the bay! It's perfect! And think of the money! This is a perfect situation, babe, I promise." Violet eyes lit up as she tried to convince her wife.  
"I can have everything that's ours out of the house by the end of the week. Louis will get the apartment ready for us and all you have to do is relax and not worry, then when you come out of the hospital, we don't have to worry, it's just right to our new home. What do you think?" Violet looked hopeful at her wife who smiled back.

"I think I'm getting cold, is what I think. Do you wanna drive me inside, now?" She grinned.

Violet's face fell and she shook her head before standing up and gripping the handle bars of her wife's wheelchair and wheeling her in.  
"It's not that I don't want to, Violet. Honestly, you can go ahead. I'm just more focused on right now rather than in a few months when the baby's running around. I just want her to be okay now."

"I know. But after what the doctor said, I'm just trying not to... I don't know, think about right now. Once the next two weeks are over, you're safe."

Clementine frowned as they got to the elevator. "I'm not safe, though. The reason they're keeping me here for so long is to make sure I don't go into labor too early. Because if I did, the baby wouldn't survive. But they're gonna let me go after two weeks, but what happens if I go into labor after we leave? I'll only be twenty weeks and the baby can't survive until she's twenty two weeks and even at that, that's pushing it."

Violet sighed as she pressed the button at the elevator.  
"I'd prefer if they kept you here until at least twenty five weeks. I know it's not fair for you to stay so long, but for the sake of the baby's health and your own. But then again, they got our kid's gender wrong, so maybe this hospital was the wrong one to go to?"

"You only realize that now," The brunette attempted to seal her laughter as Violet wheeled her into the elevator and pressed the button inside.  
"At least I won't get that horrible pain again."

"Hey, maybe it prepared you for labor."

"If labor is anything like that, I'm not sure I want to do it."

"Too late now."

"Yep," She said before leaning back slightly as Violet pushed her back towards the ward.

"Are you alright?"

"Tired. That took a lot out of me."

"Must be so tough to sit in a chair and have me wheel you around everywhere, I can't imagine the hardship of it." Violet rolled her eyes as they entered the ward.

Violet pulled the wheelchair to a halt beside Clementine's bed and began to help her wife get out of it. The brunette gripped Violet's forearms as she pulled her up, weakly walking towards the bed.  
"That's it," Violet whispered as she got her wife to sit down. Once she was sitting, she waved her blonde headed wife away for a moment.

"Let me sit for a minute, I'm tired."

"Alright," Violet complied, staying right beside her wife with a hand on her back for a few minutes.

"Vi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you brush my teeth?"

"Now?"

"Mhm. I didn't brush them after eating. They feel sticky and I wanna kiss you but I don't want to put buttery bread in your mouth."

"Ew," Violet giggled before walking over to the table beside the bed, "Sure," She sighed and took her wife's toothbrush from the small bag on the table, she took it out and began to put the toothpaste on it.

"Where's the bowl?"

"It's, uhhhh.... here," Violet bent down to pick up the bowl that was on the lower shelf of the table before dropping it beside her wife and running to the bathroom to run the brush underneath the water.

When Violet returned, her wife had her shoulders digging into the mattress and her feet dangling impatiently with her little pink and white fluffy socks almost falling off.

"My socks are coming off, can you fix them?"

"Of course," Violet walked over, carefully putting the toothbrush in the bowl on the bed beside her wife as she bent down to fix her socks.  
"Fix my socks, Violet, brush my teeth, Violet, feed me, Violet, I'm tired, Violet, me, me, me,"

"Don't make me kick you, you're too close to my foot to be making me mad."

"I'm sorry," Violet apologized and pressed a kiss to the scar on her wife's leg. "How's your scar doing?"

"That scar's so old, I forgot I had it," Clementine giggled when her wife stood back up. Violet grabbed the toothbrush and pulled her wife carefully up more.

"Open wide!"

"Ahhhhhh!"

Violet giggled before she began to brush her wife's teeth for her, with the brunette humming as she did so that it made a weird noise.

"Clem, stop turning your head," 

"Ahhhhh-"

"You're smelly." Violet kissed her wife's forehead once she was done brushing all around her mouth. She got the bowl for her wife and watched as she spat into it and smiled at the blonde.

"Am I pretty?"

"Nothing more attractive than a girl in a hospital gown spitting into a bowl after forcing her wife to brush her teeth," Violet giggled again before kissing her wife's cheek. As she brought the bowl towards the bin to rid of the substance, Violet heard her phone ping on the desk beside her wife.

"I got it," Clem told her and Violet continued her job before realizing how quiet her wife was being.

"Who is it, Clem?"

"It's the foster agency. They've found a kid for us," She said quietly.

Violet turned around quickly and placed the bowl on the seat beside her wife's bed.  
"Now?? We looked into that almost years ago and they never got back to us, I just assumed that they weren't going to..."

"They have a kid." Clementine repeated, looking at her wife who stared back blankly for a few moments.  
"Vi!"

"What!? What do we do now?!"

"What do you think we do? Go and get them! They need you to go see them!" Clementine insisted, continuing to push her wife.  
"Vi, a little kid with no homes needs a home, are you really just gonna stand there and look at me like a mad woman or are you gonna do something about it?"

"I'm gonna do something about it."

"Then go!" She insisted, "Take your phone and go!"

~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all alright with the foster story coming up. I've talked through it with some friends and we've got adorable concepts. Please don't hate me.


	9. New horizons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet meets with her and Clem's new foster daughter and spends a week preparing for her to come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a breakdown trying to write this sorry

"Thank you for getting here on time. I understand your wife is unwell at the moment, but we really appreciate it." The woman shook Violet's hand as she walked through the doors.

Violet scratched the back of her head nervously as they walked down the hall. "I - I wasn't sure if you guys were ever gonna contact us again, we were evaluated almost two years ago," Violet said as the woman led her to the room.

"This was an emergency," The woman began.  
"She's ten months old. She was taken away from her family at six weeks old, her mother passed during childbirth and her father became severely depressed. No siblings. She's had to be taken out of state due to her father attempting to contact foster homes before. He's not allowed custody. He's unaware of where she is now, and you were the only one in the area," 

"What's her name?"

"Mila."

"Mila..." Violet felt a smile creep onto her lips, "Am I taking her home today?"

"At the end of the week. So you have time to set up her room. I want you to visit her first a couple of times to get her used to you." The woman explained, "All the other agencies just sent her to new homes. She's very anxious. I would like for you to get to know each other first, for her to be comfortable. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

"In here," The woman opened the door of the room and inside the room, brightly colored, sure enough, a little girl sat reading a book with another woman. 

Violet felt a wave of anxiety wash over her as she walked in, eyes meeting the little girl immediately, she wanted to squeal. She only wished Clementine could be there to share the moment with her.

Violet walked further into the room and the woman reading with the girl stood up, placing the book safely beside the girl before whispering to her. Violet nervously continued her walk inside before stopping in front of her and kneeling down.

"Hey, Mila." She said quietly. Violet watched the small girl clamber back, looking at her as if she were scared. She kept her smile and reached into her pocket, wanting to be as gentle as quiet as possible with the girl.  
"My name's Violet. I brought you a gift," she continued to smile as she took the small box out of her pocket.  
"It's got a surprise in it. You can open it later." She explained to her, she reached over to the table to put it down and took a moment before she looked back at her.

Mila looked scared, she scooted back on her chair and hid behind the woman who sat with her as if she were intimidated by the blonde. Violet didn't mind, though. Who wouldn't be nervous about a stranger coming into your home like that? Especially somebody so small as this girl.

"Mila, look," The worker pushed her, "Violet's being nice to you."

"You don't have to push her, it's okay," Violet said with a wide grin. "We have time to get to know each other. Listen, Mila, I'm gonna be your mommy for the next few weeks, well, one of your mommy's. I'll be back to see you everyday and I'll bring you whatever you want. I understand that you're nervous today, but we can work on that. I'll be patient for you." Violet promised her, grateful that she ever got to experience such a girl in her life despite only knowing her five minutes.

~~~~~~

"How was it?" Clementine looked excited as she sat up in the bed, practically bouncing with excitement and a wide grin on her face while she watched Violet make her way to the bed. Violet stopped and kissed her wife's lips, but was shaken off almost as fast.  
"Kisses later! How was it?!"

"Clem, she's perfect!" Violet insisted as she took a seat beside her wife. "I can't wait to tell you all about her. She's ten months old, her name's Mila, she is just an absolute angel. She's very shy but, Clem, she's just perfect."

"Is she coming to stay with us?!"

"Yeah, on Friday." Violet replied and watched as her wife clapped her hands excitedly. "I'm going to have to go and buy her a crib when I leave, lucky we have no furniture in baby's room yet. She'll have to sleep there."

"That's perfect," Clementine said, her demeanor dying down a little.  
"What about me? If she's coming home Friday, I can't meet her yet. What if she gets scared around me? I can be grumpy... my temper gets the best of me sometimes..."

"She'll love you, I'll tell her all about you. She'll visit you. I promise." Violet took her wife's hand and massaged it carefully. "Once she's settled in. Okay?"

"Okay!" She smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to her wife's lips.   
"I really can't wait to see her, Vi. This is just perfect."

"I know, Clem." Violet smiled at her wife as she took her hand to her lips, "How's our girl doing?"

"She's fine." She told her wife before laying her head back and sighing gratefully. "How lucky are we to be surrounded by such strong women?"

"You're the strongest," Violet reached out to brush her wife's curls behind her ear. Violet began to brush through her wife's hair, feeling out all the tangles and knots.  
"Do you want to have a shower, Clem?"

"I can't wash myself."

"I'll help you, obviously. The nurse said that you can have a shower when she changed your bandages. I bet it'll help your back?" Violet rubbed her wife's shoulder in a soothing manner as she looked unsure.

"I don't know, Vi. I don't like making you do things for me, it's not fair for you,"

"I love doing things for you! That's my absolute favorite thing to do!" Violet insisted, standing up from the bed, she began to take off her jacket.  
"Let me give you a shower, please. You need to be able to relax. You'll feel so much better."

Clementine sighed and shifted in the bed, rolling over to the edge where Violet grabbed her arms and pulled her up. Violet put both hands on her wife's waist and held her as she stood up, gripping her body as Clementine seemed to wobble.

"Babe, babe, are you okay?!"

"I'm okay," She whispered, gripping Violet's shoulders as tears pricked her eyes, "Vi, my back,"

"Shhh," She soothed, rubbing up and down her back slowly, "Do you need a nurse?"

"No, just hold me for a minute," Clementine leaned her head against her wife's shoulder and breathing out shakily.  
"I need to walk, can we walk?"

"We can walk." Violet nodded, slowly beginning to guide her wife's towards the bathroom. Violet kept her arms tightly around Clementine's body until they got to the bathroom. Once they were inside, Violet locked the door and sat her wife on the toilet seat.  
"How are you feeling?"

"I need a minute."

"Of course," Violet leaned down in front of her wife and took her hands as she spoke to her.  
"Hey, Clem, listen, you're okay, don't panic. I'm here. We're in a hospital. If anything and I mean anything feels off or wrong, there's people here to help us. Please don't panic baby, I'm here,"

"I know," She began to breathe steadier with Violet's hands in her own. She let out a deep breath and continued her steady breathing before deciding she felt okay, she then waited for her wife as Violet began to undress her.

Clementine let out a tense hum as Violet's hands connected with the back of her neck after she'd unbuttoned the first button on her gown. Violet noticed this, and began to rub and massage the nape of the brunette's neck.

"You probably feel stiff."

"I do."

Violet slid off Clementine's gown, awkwardly pulling it off of her legs once it was down. She folded it nearly and set it over to the side before assisting her wife in standing up again. 

"Are you okay?" Violet held her hand with her other hand on her back as she stood up. Clementine nodded as she was guided to the shower, before leaning against the wall and sighing.

"Just turn the water on, please."

Violet did so, twisting the knob for her wife and rubbing her back as the water began to run. Violet took a step back for a moment as her wife stood, weakly lifting her arms to try and wash her hair.  
Violet flinched forward, she didn't want to ruin it for her wife. Clementine needed to feel like she could do something, she needed she could be independent.

"Vi-" 

"I'm here!" Violet insisted, taking a few steps towards her wife and holding her hips to keep her steady.  
"Are you dizzy?"

"Mhm..."

"Come here," Violet ordered, bringing her wife forward to her body. Clementine rested her chin on Violet's shoulder as the blonde began to brush through her hair, she reached for the soap.

"I'm getting you wet." Clementine said, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Violet said, squirting some of the liquid on her hands and brushing it through her wife's curls. Violet admired her wife's expression, her eyes closed and brows furrowed as the blonde brushed through her hair. Violet followed droplets down her wife's body, across the scars on her. She reached out slowly to brush her finger across one particular scar on her side.  
"This is still pretty deep."

"It always will be."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't do this to me."

"But I could've prevented it," She whispered, her eyes meeting her wife's ones. "If your parents never found out about us, I can't help but wonder if you wouldn't have all these scars and marks."

"If my parents never found out about us?" She questioned with a quirked eyebrow, "Well, then we wouldn't have gotten married, we wouldn't have our baby girl and we wouldn't have Mila in our life now. Them finding out led us to where we are today. So really, I don't mind that they found out. So long as I've got you with me."

"I fuckin' love you and your pretty eyes," Violet smiled before reaching down, her hand placing over her belly that wasn't covered with the bandages.   
"Can I wash your belly? I'd rather if you didn't look at your wounds. And I'm worried babygirl thinks I've gone away."

"Yeah, you can. Talk to our baby girl, Vi." She sighed, easing off of the blonde before she gripped her stomach and hissed. "The water's making it sting,"

"That can't be good," Violet sighed, finishing off washing her wife's hair before she began to rub the water gently across her belly, Violet leaned down, some water splashing at her face but she didn't mind.  
"I hope you're alright in there, lady." She told her before pressing her lips very gently to a part of skin not covered with bandages.  
"Your mom's working hard to keep you safe, we love you." She promised before standing up and meeting her wife's gaze, both smiling at each other like morons.

Violet finished off washing her wife down and tied back up Clementine's hair, she then dried off her body and left her in her towel as she went to retrieve her pyjama's from her bed.  
Violet returned and helped her wife to get dressed before helping her get back into bed, and there, she slept for hours.

"I'll be back soon," Violet kissed her forehead before standing up. She took her jacket and purse, closing over the curtains to give Clementine's sleeping form some privacy before she left the building.

~~~~~~~

"She still needs pyjama's," Violet looked at the list in her hands as she ordered her friend around.  
"Can you get the storage boxes up there? I can't reach it,"

"Yes, your highness."

"Shut up, I've been being bossed around by my wife all week, I can order you if I want," She playfully slapped Louis on the shoulder as he leaned up to get what she needed.  
He got the box and took it down, putting it into the shopping cart and sighing afterwards as it was heavy. Violet immediately looked to her list again.

"Toys and pyjama's." She nodded to him.

"Are you sure that the foster money is gonna cover all of this?"

"It should. I bought the high chair, car seat and crib out of my own money. These are just extras," Violet looked at her watch and began to panic.  
"Louis, we need to be quick. I'm getting her at five thirty, it's nearly five, go, go, go!"

"I'm going!" He ran with the shopping cart in hand, racing off towards the toy section of the store. Violet followed after him, jogging to keep up with his pace before she huffed.

"Xylophone," Violet said, lowering the list and looking along the shelves for the perfect one.

Louis blinked. "Do you really want toys that make noise? You're gonna have a newborn in a few months and you're gonna have a baby after today. Surely the Everett household is loud enough already."

"She needs stuff that's gonna help her with interacting. All she can do right now is crawl," Violet insisted as she took one of the xylophones from the shelf and popped it into the cart, then going for the phonics.  
"What could help a baby learn to walk?" Violet asked Louis as she dropped the phonics into the cart.

"Physician?"

"I can't afford one. And I don't want to scare her. She's not good around new people - speaking of which, when you meet her, don't raise your voice!" Violet pointed at him with narrowed eyes. "She's nervous. Think of her as Brody. You wouldn't raise your voice at Brody, would you?"

"Okay, okay, I get it, don't raise my voice." He held up his hands defensively as Violet continued her search.

"I need flashcards. And one of those swing things-" Violet practically leaped forward to get all the stuff, but was stopped when her friend grabbed her arm.

"You're spending too much. Clem won't be back in work for a while, you can't afford to spend this much. Let me do it."

"No, we have the money, we're fine, thanks." Violet insisted as she turned swiftly away and went to pick up the rest of her stuff. Louis sighed. Violet was always too stubborn. He continued to walk, jogging up closer to her before he spoke again.

“So did you talk to Clem about the apartment?” Louis asked as Violet looked at the different formula bottles, seeming confused at what the differences were.

“Yeah. She wasn’t exactly thrilled by it.” Violet shrugged, finally deciding which one she should buy. “I think she understands it would be for our safety but I don’t know.”

“She's never been fond of new settings."

"I think it's just the baby," Violet sighed as she lowered the bottles into the cart. "She's been anxious as fuck since surgery, and even before it. She had an incident before she went in for surgery, before you guys came to see her, where she was bleeding. It wasn't anything to do with the baby and I'd honestly rather not tell you what it was, but it really made her anxious."

"I know. I'll help out whatever way I can... what was the bleeding?"

"You don't wanna know."

"I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."

"No, seriously, you don't-"

"Vi."

Violet huffed and felt a smirk tug at her lips. "Okay, fine, you really want to know? My wife got a ultrasound probe up her v-"

"Okay, thanks, yeah, no,"

"Yeah. Mind your own damn business," She shook her head again as they began walking towards the clothing area.

"Okay, anyway... What's the little girls name?"

“Mila.” 

“How old is she?” He asked, picking up a small onesie. He admired it with a grin before waiting for what his friend would answer.

“She's ten months old, almost a year. Been in foster homes since she was only six weeks, we're going to be the first family to have her for this long, though."

He began to sift through the ten months section in the onesie area before finding the perfect one. He spun around, presenting it to Violet. “Ta-da!” He beamed. Violet stared at the onesie for a second, before rolling her eyes at the tacky design.

“You want to put that poor child in a onesie that says ‘me want hotdogs’?"

“Yes.”

“No, put it back. They'll take her away before I've even got her." Violet said, pointing to where the disgusting onesie came from. Louis frowned and put it back.  
"How's Sophie?" Violet questioned as she picked out a pair of baby pyjamas with Mila in mind.

"She's fine."

"Just fine?"

"Moody."

"Has she fainted lately?"

"No. She's well minded," A sigh, "Honestly, I was so happy when you asked me to come out and shop with you today. I love her so much but I can't, like... stay in the house with her anymore?"

Violet wore an awkward expression.  
"Jeez, not a good way to be feeling a month before your wedding."

"Three weeks before..."

"Oh, shit, yeah," Violet mumbled as she put a few pairs into the cart.  
"I'm sorry, I'm so out of the loop with time lately."

"It's alright. I didn't think you'd be coming with Clem being sick."

"Hey, of course I'll be there. She's feeling better already, she's out of hospital on Monday, too. We may not be there for the party, but we'll definitely be there for the ceremony, I promise."

"Party's the best part."

"I know it is. But Mila will have to come to your wedding, too," Violet explained to her friend as he wheeled the cart and they now looked at pacifiers. "Between my pregnant, sick wife and my anxious and shy foster daughter, I don't think parties are really a priority. Clem even went and cancelled our baby shower. She just can't handle it."

"I know, I know. I'd love it if you could at least be there for a while but I understand it completely," He said with a sigh.  
"I just need somebody sane to keep me away from Sophie's psychotic family."

"God, her parents are crazy, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"I feel bad for you... You must really love her to be marrying into that."

"Rub it in."

"Hey, it's not like I married into a gold mine, either." Violet held up her hands in defense. "Clem's dad nearly killed me."

"I know, I had to drive you to the emergency room."

"Then they nearly killed her," She said with bitterness in her voice. "She's still got that fuckin' scar on her side. If it weren't for Lee, I probably would've strangled her mom that day. He stopped me from becoming a murderer."

"Then became one himself."

"You're acting like he wasn't proven guilty for that," She shook her head, "Get over it."

He shrugged.

Once all her items had been purchased, Violet had dropped Louis back to his house and immediately gone to pick Mila up. She got there right on time and met with the women who worked there. The workers explained to her everything that they deemed necessary before deciding she was good to go.

Violet opened the car door before she leaned over to make sure the seat was strapped the right way before turning to the girl in the stroller. Mila was better with Violet now, but still incredibly nervous. She leaned down on her knees, wanting to speak to her first so she didn't startle her.

"I'm going to put you into the car seat now, Mila. And then we're going to visit your other mommy. I promise you that you can trust me, okay?" She asked as she stood up, unstrapping the girls body. Violet was extremely careful as she reached in, she picked up the girl and cradled her close before she walked a few steps to the car.

Violet noticed the small girl was trembling in her arms. She frowned and set her in, strapping her in safely then, trying to keep a distance away as to not scare her.

Violet looked over at the bag on the stroller and reached in, taking out a small stuffed animal and a blanket. She carefully fitted the blankets around the confused girls legs before setting the toy beside her.

Violet smiled at the sight in front of her eyes. It was like everything she had ever dreamed of.  
"I'll be in the front." She told her before closing over the door very lightly.

Violet then looked at the stroller in front of her and let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"How the fuck do you close these things?!"

~~~~~~~

Violet pushed the stroller down the narrow hallway of the hospital, keeping an eye on the little girl inside of it as to make sure she wasn't getting scared. It seemed as though Mila had become more comfortable after being in the car with Violet, but the blonde still thought that she'd feel better once they got settled in at home.

As they approached the ward, Violet's heart started to race. This would be the first time Clementine met their new girl, and she could hardly wait. She walked in through the entrance and spotted her wife immediately, sitting on the side of the bed patiently with her legs dangling and a hand on her belly.

"Clem!" She smiled as she walked towards her with the stroller. The brunette looked up and her eyes immediately went to the stroller, a hand covering her mouth once she saw the girl in it.  
"How are you feeling?" Violet asked when she stopped by the bed and leaned down to unstrap Mila from her confines.

"I'm excited," She replied, watching anxiously as her wife picked the girl up. Clementine could still notice that Mila was anxious, but her eyes roved over her small face and took in her features very slowly, noting the yellow pacifier in her wife as one Violet had shown her before, one she'd bought for her.  
"Oh my god,"

"This is Mila," Violet held her up gently. She very carefully took the hat off of the girls head, revealing the mass of blonde curls to her brunette wife. Clementine gasped and Violet giggled.  
"Isn't she just gorgeous?"

"I'm in love. Completely," She smiled as she watched her wife take a seat with Mila, the smile on Violet's lips was probably the realest one that Clementine had ever seen. "Can she speak, Vi?"

Violet nodded, sitting Mila on her lap with her hands on her back as she looked at her face.  
"They said she's able to say some words, like no and bye, she's just nervous. Hey, Mila," Violet reached up to brush her hair. "You're okay."

"Am I scaring her?"

"She's just nervous, Clem. She was scared of me at first, too." Violet told her, meeting her wife's eyes. Clementine looked saddened, and Violet knew she had to make her feel better. "They told me something when I picked her up, baby."

"Hm?"

"Our custody," She began, "We've got her for six months, Clem. Maybe longer." 

"Seriously?!" Clementine's mouth opened wide. "Are you being honest?"

"A thousand percent," Violet replied with a smile, "She'll be with us when our baby girl is born, work experience, eh?"

Clementine rolled her eyes playfully and stood up from the bed, she watched as her wife almost jerked from her seat to stand up and assist her.   
"Violet, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can." She said quietly and looked at Mila with an anxious face.  
"I think she needs to go to sleep,"

Clementine took a few stumbley steps towards her wife and leaned over, catching a glimpse of Mila's eyes closed over. She smiled.  
"I think she's already asleep. Congratulations, mommy."

"Shut up."

"No, I mean it. You've got a little baby you've only known a week asleep on your chest. She loves you. I can tell. You just have that affect on people."

"She's hardly a little baby."

Clementine beamed, watching the pacifier move in and out of the girls lips as she lay against her wife's chest.  
"She's still littler than you. Her hands are so small,"

Mila's hand was pressed against Violet's chest and Violet had hardly noticed it, her mind completely occupied with the feel of the small girls breath on her skin.  
"I guess they are."

"Poor little thing... I hope her father never gets to her. She needs to be kept safe."

"She's in the safest place now, that, I can promise you," Violet smiled up at her wife before reaching out one hand to take hers.  
"I wish you were coming home with me tonight. This should be our experience together, not just mine. I want you to read her to sleep and feed her in her high chair. You're gonna be so shocked when we get home and you see how I decked out the house in baby stuff. There's a bouncer thing on the back of the door to our room."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's there so I can watch her while I'm doing work on my laptop." Violet smiled half-heartedly, "God, I hate leaving you alone... I need you right now."

"Who's gonna take care of our other baby if I'm at home? The doctors need to make sure she's okay," The brunette smiled at her wife before pressing a kiss to her temple. "I'm alright. I'm not alone."

"I don't think our unborn baby is great for conversation, though."

"Maybe not as good as Mila, but I still love her," Clementine giggled.  
"I'll see you tomorrow. Bring her home and get some sleep. Enjoy your first night as a mom."

"It's our first night, even if you're not with me." Violet smiled.  
"I love you."

"I love you, too."

~~~~

Mila lay beside Violet in the bed, looking around the room confusedly as the blonde's eyes looked at her lovingly. She could only imagine what it'd be like if her wife's arms were around her waist now as they stared at the girl, but this would have to do.

Violet turned off the projector she had bought, ultimately halting the song and displays on the ceiling as Mila seemed to be finally feeling sleepy again. Violet reached out her hand and brushed through her curls before kissing her forehead.

"Goodnight, Mila." She whispered, "Me and Mama Clem are so proud and happy to have you in our lives now. Get some rest."


	10. our last day as us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine, Violet and Mila travel to Louis's wedding, enjoying their last few days as a family of 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been very consistent with updates, and that's because when I go back to school, I have a lot to deal with (projects and such) so I need to make sure I'm ahead. There will be one more update before Tuesday, then I'll stop for a few days (literally only until Friday or the next Monday) I hope you all don't mind.
> 
> also, there may be an extra chapter for the readers on here. But you didn't hear that from me.

Violet gripped the steering wheel, trying her hardest not to groan as she waited for the light to turn green. Tapping her foot impatiently, she was pulled out of her road rage at the sound of giggling in the back of the car. She looked into the rear view mirror and could see her wife's white cardigan move in the corner of her eye as Clementine played with Mila in her car seat.

The giggles soon filled the car, forcing Violet to smile. Who could stay stubborn with such joy emitting from the back of her car?

Violet watched for a few more seconds before the light turned green and she began to drive again.  
"Hey ladies, we're almost home," She called from the front.

Clementine gasped for dramatic affect. "We're almost home, Mimi, you can show me all your toys. I haven't seen my house since you took over it."

"Mimi?" Violet repeated from the front of the car as if she had heard something disgusting.  
"What kind of a nickname is that?"

"Says the girl who's only nickname is Vi. How boring is that? It's literally just the first two letters of your name, so original."

"At least I'm not named after a fruit. I mean, seriously. Nobody even calls them clementine's, they're just oranges."

"Shush." She shook her head, staring lovingly at Mila as Violet continued to rant all the way home. Violet stopped ranting and they pulled it, an excitement bubbling in Clementine's chest as she saw her home after nearly two whole weeks.

"You're home at last," Violet wrapped her arms around her in a gentle squeeze. "I hope you don't hate what I've done with our precious home."

"Don't you mean what she's done?" Clementine looked at the small girl in the car as Violet bent down to pick her up. The brunette took in a deep breath of air and looked at the house.  
"It doesn't look too different outside."

"Oh, just you wait," Violet chuckled as she held Mila up, closing over the door.  
She wrapped one arm around her wife's shoulders and used the other to hold Mila as all three walked up to the porch of the house.

Clementine unlocked the door for her wife and then stepped in with a wide grin on her face as she looked around.  
"Oh my god."

Violet giggled, swaying back and forth slightly with Mila in her arms.  
"The cabinets have labels. The toilet, the shower, our room has a label on the door, everything is labelled."

"Did you write all these yourself?" Clementine questioned with a giggle.  
"You're so cute."

"I stayed up late the night after I met Mila and wrote all the names of everything down to help her learn."

"What does the label on our door say?" Clementine asked as Violet came close and wrapped and arm around her waist.

"It's says Momma's room."

"Awww," She chuckled as her wife pressed her lips to her own.  
"You're too much. She can't even read yet."

"I want to be ready, there's nothing wrong with starting young," Violet lifted Mila up on to her hip before walking further into the home. She opened the door that lead to the hallway and gestured to her wife.  
"Come see her room. She's so excited for you to see it."

"I bet she is." The brunette rolled her eyes, following her wife into the hallway and towards the bedroom. Clementine stopped to looked at the new item in the hallway.  
"You got a plant?"

"It's fake. It was cheap, but nice." Violet replied, opening the door and flicking on the light. She very carefully lowered Mila into her crib, her arms growing tired of holding her.  
"That little girl is heavy, I'll tell you that."

"This room is beautiful, good job, Vi," Clementine smiled as looked around the room and admired all the hard work Violet had done. The walls were a kind of a maroon-purple color and Mila's crib was a silver shade, with a mobile hanging from the ceiling that Violet had clearly made herself. Her crib was pushed in beside the window and a white dresser was by the wall, along with a nightlight on top of it. It was well decorated with framed pictures of animals on the walls and a nice rug in the middle, as well as a toy box, but Clementine immediately noticed the faults.

"Should the crib be that close to the window? I mean, wouldn't she get cold?" She questioned nervously.

Violet furrowed her brows and looked at her wife but didn't speak.

"I'm not, I'm, it's beautiful, Violet, really. I'm just asking."

"You're right," Violet nodded. "I just thought it'd save space."

"Love, don't get mad at me," She pouted and wrapped her arms around Violet's waist, pulling her in for a hug, she lay her head against her chest.  
"I'm sorry babe. I'm not being mean."

"No, you're right."

"Dooooon't be like that," She huffed and stood back from her body, taking her wife's hand and placing it on her stomach. "The baby doesn't like it when you're grumpy."

"Stop trying to soften me up with that shit."

"Swear!" The brunette gasped, covering her wife's mouth.  
"We have little ears in the house now, you can't be swearing."

Violet pouted and turned away from her wife, looking at Mila in her crib as she purposely ignored her.  
"I can't do anything right with you."

"Violet." Clementine huffed, turning her wife slightly.  
"Stop ignoring me."

"No."

"I had surgery a week ago, and you're ignoring me," She frowned and felt her bottom lip tremble, "Fine, I'll get into bed and be useless."

"Stooooop," Violet turned around and caught her wife with her arms, unable to see the smirk on Clementine's face as she gave her a tight hug and stroked her belly.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I love you, and our baby."

"I know you didn't mean to upset me." She chuckled, turning in her wife's arms and meeting her eyes.  
"Let's move on. What do you wanna do?"

"I don't mind. What do you wanna do?" Violet turned to lean over the crib where Mila was now sitting up, looking at her new mom.  
"I think I have the perfect idea..." Violet smirked.

"You do?" Clementine asked, dumbfounded.

"I do."

Violet reached in, taking Mila out of her crib and cradling her head close to her chest as her and Clementine left the room. The girls walked down the very small hallway and towards the main part of the home, the living room. 

Violet ordered Clementine to sit down and she did so, taking a seat on the sofa while Violet sat beside her, Mila sitting on her lap. Violet messed about with the blankets and such, making everything comfortable.

"What are you up to, Vi?"

"Family time." She replied, taking the remote controller and switching on the TV. Violet rested Mila on her stomach, her head pressed against her and shifted, laying back and resting her head on a pillow. Clementine sat opposite to Violet, who gestured for her to lift her legs slightly. Violet now sat with Mila on her torso and her wife's legs on her lap.  
"See?"

The brunette smiled half heartedly, eyeing how comfortable Mila was with her wife.  
"I wish I could hold her. I'm worried she won't get used to me."

"Once your wounds are healed, you'll be able to hold her more usually. But you'll also be nearly thirty weeks pregnant by then, so not that much."

"I can't freaking believe I'm twenty weeks pregnant." The brunette shook her head, "I don't think I want to believe it. Everything's changed now with Mila, for the better, obviously."

"Yeah. But she's gonna help us, prepare us for what's to come. For what it's worth, I think we'll be just fine." Violet said with a proud yet humble smile.

"How can you be so sure?"

"I just am sure. I know I've got my women to keep me upright. We bounce off of each other," Violet informed her wife before she began to speak again.  
"Speaking of women, have you got any name ideas yet? I'd like for her to have a name before she's born."

"I do have one name..."

"What is it?"

"Nope. Not telling."

"You suck."

"So do you."

"What-eveeeer," Violet stook out her tongue at her wife, forcing a giggle to escape the brunette's lips before Vi's attention focused back on the sleepy girl in her arms.  
"I love Mila."

"So do I."

"I'm proud of us. We've done well."

"Yeah. We have. Very well..." She eyed her with a grin, grateful to finally be home with her new family.

~~~~~~

"This is so dumb. Waking up at six in the morning to get dressed for a stupid wedding at some stupid, fancy hotel. Who even gets married anymore? It's overrated! I mean, not you, Clem, you're not overrated, but big, money wasting, stupid, fancy ceremony's at stupid hotels nearly three hours away from our house is overrated!" Violet raged as she twisted her watch on her wrist, pacing around the home.

Clementine looked up at her wife and sighed before moving the plastic spoon in her hand towards Mila's mouth again.

"It's so useless!"

"Vi, can you stop ranting in the kitchen? It's breakfast time. She needs to eat. She didn't get much sleep, she needs some form of energy." Clementine asked her wife who almost immediately halted her actions.

Violet grumbled a little before ruffling Mila's hair and pressing a kiss to her head before walking out to grumble in the living room instead.

Clementine shook her head and moved the spoon to Mila's mouth again, watching as she opened her mouth and took it in nearly without missing a single spot. 

"Good girl, Mimi!" She cheered, taking the napkin from the table and wiping her mouth. She stood up from the table once Mila was done and brought all the dishes to the sink, hopping them in before returning to the little girl.

"Let's get dressed, Mama Vi can clean up since she's done nothing but complain all morning," She told her as she reached in and took her out, getting the food from her bib all over her own outfit.  
"You smell like fruit. Nice one. Maybe you should have a bath before we go?"

"We haven't got time to give her a bath," Violet insisted as she walked passed her wife and went to tend to the dishes.  
"If we don't leave in the next twenty minutes, we may as well not go to the wedding."

"You're the most dramatic woman to ever walk the planet." Clementine rolled her eyes as she walked off to change Mila in their bedroom.

"I'm not dramatic..." Violet mumbled under her breath. Violet washed all the dishes, though not thoroughly, and stuffed them back into the cabinets still dripping. She then walked outside to the porch and dropped some of the leftovers onto the old newspaper that lay outside the door, left there specifically for any stray cats that may come by. 

Violet smiled to herself before turning to walk back in, the noticing her wife standing with Mila in her arms.

"Are you ready to go?"

"You look amazing," Violet's breath hit hitched as she took in the sight of her wife. "Oh my god. You look gorgeous." She was practically circling her wife at this stage.

The brunette blushed. "You don't think it's too much? It's, uh, low cut in my chest area. It's the only thing I had to wear on such short notice, these rich people plan weddings so fast."

"No, no, it's perfect."

"I haven't worn anything this... I don't know, tight? Slick? Since getting pregnant. I feel like everything's on display and I really don't like it."

"I like it."

"But do you like everyone else seeing it?"

"On second thought, I'll give you my cardigan. It's in the car. It'll go with the lilac-y pink color." Violet said with a nod. Clementine nodded and shifted, holding Mila closer in her hip. The small blonde sucked on her pacifier and lay her head in the crook of the brunette's neck, her eyes very tiredly focusing on Violet in front of her.  
"She really is tired."

"She didn't sleep at all last night. She was crying, I went and got her into bed with us, she stopped crying, but didn't sleep. Kinda just sat up and looked around the room for a while." She looked at the tired form in her arms.

"She doesn't seem sick."

"Her cheeks were red but they're always red at night. Her room is like an oven and she insists on sleeping with that blanket."

"She'll sleep in the car," Violet said unsurely. "Poor little Mila, you didn't get much sleep, did you?"

"Let's get her into her car seat and get going." Clementine walked the rest of the way out of the house, towards the car with Mila in her arms and her bag on her shoulder.

"Should you be carrying all that?" Violet called after her wife.

"It's been a month since my surgery, I'm fine!" Clementine insisted, opening the car door and sitting Mila in where she began to strap her.

Violet shook her head. "Stubborn."

~~~~~~

The ceremony had started off nicely, and although Violet felt immense happiness and incredibly proud of her best friend, her mind was focused on something else. Mila had been sitting by herself, occupied by her toys, while still staying close to her mom. Violet sat in the middle of her wife and Mila as she watched the ceremony, only she wasn't watching it.

Mila had been snuggling up to Violet more frequently as time passed, grabbing at her shirt and scooting over to her as best she could. Her and Clementine had both noticed this, but deemed it just tiredness. Mila hadn't slept much the night before.

It was only now that Mila was crying on Violet's shoulder that they became really concerned. Violet was rubbing her back and shushing her as she sobbed, but nothing seemed to calm her down.

Mila's soft little sobs on Violet's shoulder became stronger and the blonde and her wife shared a concerned gaze. Clementine furrowed her brows and reached out to stroke the girls back soothingly for a while before Violet stood from her place.

"Have to get her out," She mouthed to her wife as she stood, walking out of the ceremony fast. Clementine shot up afterwards and followed out, practically running after her family.

Violet found a bench outside the venue and sat down with Mila, stroking her back as she buried her sad little face in the crook of her neck.

"Mimi," Violet whispered to her as her wife took a seat beside them, "What's wrong?"  
Mila whispered something and Violet and Clementine could hardly contain their excitement at finally hearing the girl speak.  
"What was that, Mila?"

"Momma," She whispered again as her tears started to stop pouring and her sobs died out.

Violet bit her lip with anxiousness, continuing to caress the girls back in the hopes of getting her somewhat calmer.  
Violet stroked her back for the next few minutes, waiting until her sobs had completely died out to speak.  
"What do you think, Clem?"

"I'm not sure."

"Maybe the people were just too much for her, there's a lot in there."

"I know," She said quietly as she pursed her lips together.  
"She was okay at first though. She was playing with her toys, something must've triggered it."

"She's probably just tired. I'll call the doctor if it happens again, but she really didn't sleep much last night at all so I would put it down to that." Violet expressed.

Clementine examined Mila's face thoroughly, trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with the girl. Finding nothing, no rash or red cheeks to suggest she was feeling sickly, she sighed with frustration and looked around everywhere else.

As Violet continued to rub her back, her wife noticed something with the movement of Mila's dress and immediately brought it to her wife's attention.  
"She's got a mark... Do you know what happened to her leg? There's a little red mark on her leg."

"A mark!?" Violet repeated, looking down at her leg and raising the dress slightly. "I changed her before the ceremony, in the car. There wasn't anything on her legs then. Is it a rash?"

"It can't be a rash, it's tiny and only in one place. Did she fall, maybe?" 

Violet looked her wife, eyes somewhat wide. She shook her head slowly.  
"No. She's been with me the entire time. I carried her into the hotel, I carried her to our seat, she wasn't on the floor at any point, she didn't fall."

"Did somebody hurt her?"

"How could somebody have hurt her? She's been with me the entire time. I would never lay a finger on her. Ever. The only way she could've been hurt is if the person sitting beside her did it, but we were alone."

"No..." Clementine said, shaking her head as she came to a realization.  
"Whoever was behind her did it. And I know who was behind her. I know that she did it and I'm going to kill her."

"What?"

"Minerva. She was behind her, she deliberately chose to sit behind us, probably to get payback for Louis beating her up. Louis will be the least of her worries when I'm done with her," She muttered, grabbing at her dress and standing up before Violet bolted up after her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To kill her! Kill her! I'm not having this, I won't have it. Mila's innocent, in all of this, she's innocent, she doesn't deserve this, she's just a baby. A baby! Who the hell targets a baby? She can't even speak, why is she even a part of this? This isn't right!"

"So what? You're gonna run in there, in the middle of the wedding, and do what? Have you got a gun in your bra? A knife? How do you plan to murder her?"

"My bare hands? Belly blast her into the fucking sun? I don't know!" She insisted, the little comment making Violet giggle despite her really not wanting to.  
"This isn't right. We can't let this slide."

"And we won't," Violet softly took her wife's hand in her own, "But you're not gonna go in there and... 'belly blast' my abuser into the sun. Your belly's too special for that. Our little girl doesn't need to be anywhere around that woman," she stated as she pressed her palm to her stomach.  
"Now. How about me and you and Mimi take a walk around this garden before we go back inside? Louis will understand."

The brunette grumbled and took her wife's hand, allowing herself to be led around the gardens of the hotel. Violet took her towards the lake and held her close as she spoke to her.  
"I'm not gonna let anyone hurt Mila."

"I know..."

"When the ceremony's over, take her up to the room and have a rest with her. I'll go to the after party for a few minutes, just to show my face. Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded, eyes on Mila.  
"Let's go back in, I guess..."

~~~~~~

They'd sat and watched the rest of the ceremony, with Mila sitting on Violet's lap as she cuddled her close. As soon as they had walked back into the hotel, Mila seemed more anxious than before, and Violet could do nothing but hold her.

Once the ceremony was over, Clementine took Mila as quickly as possible and began to march up to the room. She'd made it very clear to her wife that she wanted nothing to do with Minerva and wanted Mila to be safe, even if it meant missing the party.

Violet watched as her wife carried Mila away up to the hotel room, the small girl laying against her shoulder, her eyes stuck on Violet as she was taken away. Violet wanted so badly to follow them up, she hated the idea of her wife carrying Mila in the elevator, but Clementine had insisted on it.

Violet shook her head and turned around, following the crowd and heading towards the room. The room was nicely decorated, white roses and what not, pretty traditional looking in Violet's eyes. Her and Clementine's wedding had been anything but traditional, so nothing would ever beat that in her mind.

They'd simply gotten married in the woods, it wasn't a big ceremony. They'd gotten married almost as soon as they had gotten engaged as they found they could hardly wait any longer. The ceremony took place in the woods where Violet used to sneak out to see Clementine, it was a special day in many ways.

Violet smiled at the memory before she found her seat.  
As Violet sat down at her table, she was startled to see the other presence beside her. She swallowed as the woman noticed her, but couldn't move. She couldn't get up to walk away. She just had to endure it.

"You sat beside me," She whispered with a grin, "Did you notice I was lonely?"

Violet stayed quiet.

"You're not very talkative." Minerva sneered. Violet turned away from her and watched Sophie and Louis as the two of them were preparing to make speeches to each other, giving the blonde something to pretend to be occupied with.

But Minerva seemed to be coming closer. Violet could only make out her face in the corner of her eye, but it was clear that she now wore a scar over her eye, most likely from Louis's beating.

Violet's breath hitched as the redhead tucked her blonde's locks behind her ear.  
"Minerva, not now." Violet said quietly. "For once in your life, can't you just cut it out?"

"Violet, I love your little girl," She whispered with a grin, "She looks like you with her blonde hair and scared little eyes."

Violet turned slightly and narrowed her eyes at the girl, a surge of confidence running through her. Or maybe it was the adrenaline of hatred. Or maybe the idea of something so small and innocent as Mila, her own baby, her own little girl in her eyes, being targeted by something as vile and evil as the creature in front of her. Violet gritted her teeth.

"Don't you dare talk about my girl like that."

"That's cute. Your girl. She's not yours though, right?"

"Shut up," Violet whispered harshly, "If I ever hear her name come out of your mouth, I swear to god I will kill you."

"Cute."

"Minerva, I mean it. Don't come near us. Clem's just waiting to get a swipe at you, I'm doing you a favor." She whispered with a bitter tone before she stood up swiftly and walked out without making a noise, not wanting to ruin her best friends wedding.  
Violet stormed up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator, she headed right towards her wife and Mila, somewhat worried that Minerva might be following her.

Violet opened the door swiftly and barged in before closing it over again. She sighed with relief as she looked at the sight in front of her, her wife on the bed with Mila laying beside her. Violet smiled as she clumsily stumbled over to the pair.

"Hey," She mumbled, dropping down gently on the bed, Mila now laying between her and Clementine with Violet's hand on her back.  
Violet leaned over slightly, seeing the tears in the corners of the girls eyes as Clementine brushed through her hair, she was alarmed.  
"She was crying?"

"Yeah," her wife replied with furrowed brows. "She's exhausted. Absolutely, utterly exhausted." She reached out to rub her cheek.   
Mila stared at her eyes, blinking tiredly every few seconds until her eyes finally closed shut. Clementine watched as her pacifier finally stopped moving in and out, her small body finally at rest.  
She smiled at the fact the girl was finally getting some rest before looking at her wife confusedly.

"Why did you come up so early? I thought the party was the 'best' part."

Violet shifted uncomfortably, chewing her bottom lip nervously.  
"I don't wanna be alone right now. I need you both."

"I'm glad you're here," She smiled half heartedly, knowing for a fact her wife wasn't telling the truth.  
"There's a bowling alley a few miles away, I was thinking about taking Mila tomorrow, for our second day here, what do you think?"

"Sure," Violet sighed tiredly, moving to lay on her back, she looked up at the ceiling. Violet grinned as an idea popped into her mind.  
"Wanna watch a movie?"

"I think we watched enough movies last night," Her wife winked, "But when we get home, we can watch some more. Okay?"

"Definitely." Violet shifted on to her side to look at her wife who continued to stroke Mila's face as she lay beside them.  
"I think we should put her into her own bed now. Don't you?"

Clementine's smile faded and she looked unsure before answering.  
"Maybe she'll sleep better in the bed with us. This is a different environment. The crib isn't the same as her one, so she might need to be somewhere familiar... like the bed... with us... so she feels safe and knows that we didn't leave her alone in a different place. You know?"

"She can stay." Violet smiled, draping an arm around Mila protectively.  
"You haven't heard from Lee?"

Clementine's shrugged sadly. "He was supposed to come home this week. But I haven't heard from him. Nobody's contacted me. I'm kind of worried."

"Don't worry too much. He wouldn't want that," Violet said before yawning, "Night, Clem."

"Night, Vi."

~~~~~~

Violet carefully unstrapped Mila from her stroller, pulling her out as her wife walked around the alley, looking at everything in it. Violet was careful as she lowered Mila to her feet, holding her up carefully.

"Hey, she's standing!" Violet cheered to her wife as she took a seat beside them. The brunette smiled to her as Violet then picked up Mila fully, holding her in her arms.  
"Who's going first?" She questioned, looking through the different colored bowling balls.

"It's your go first," Clementine stated as she stood back, looking up at the sign over their head.

"Alright, here little lady," Violet said as she went to lower Mila back into her stroller, but the small blonde fussed in her arms.  
"Mila, please,"

"She doesn't want to sit down. She's been sitting all day, give her to me, we'll be fine," Clementine insisted, outstretching her arms for her. Violet sighed and walked a few steps towards her wife, carefully putting her foster daughter into her wife's arms.

"You're pushing the limits. I wouldn't be surprised if you went into labor soon,"

"Labor? Please. That'll take a while."

Violet rolled her eyes playfully and took the ball in her hand, rolling it down the alley and knocking out almost all the pins. She began to mutter swearwords under her breath at the one pin that hadn't been struck, but Clementine and Mila cheered her on.

"Yaaaay!" Clementine held both of Mila's hands together and mimicked them clapping. Violet strutted back over to them, now confident and proud of herself.

"Yeah. I guess I'm pretty cool." She said with a grin before looking up at the sign, "It's your turn, Clem." Violet informed her before her eyes met her wife's, the brown ones tired and almost lifeless. Violet was a heavy sleeper, and would always get sleep when Mila didn't, which meant Clementine was left to deal with the girl.  
"Do you want me to throw it for you?"

"I can throw it"

"Sure you can. Almost twenty five weeks pregnant. You've spent the past few days straining yourself, let me do it."

"No."

"Fine," Violet huffed before reaching down and scooping Mila into her arms securely.

"What are you doing?"

"Mila's gonna do it for you," Violet went to grab the next ball before sitting Mila on the floor, a safe distance away. Violet sat down on the floor with the ball on her lap, guiding Mila to crawl towards her.  
Violet put the ball beside her on the floor and took Mila on her lap.

"Let's go baby!" She smiled, putting Mila's small hands on the ball and helping her to roll it down the alley. They watched as it bounced against the ball and knocked only a few over, but Violet and Clementine still cheered.

"She's so strong!" Clementine clapped her hands. "Good job, Mimi."

Violet sat up, taking Mila towards her wife and pressing her lips to her wife's.  
"Thank you for bringing us bowling. It's been a long time since we got to do something fun like this."

"You deserve it for taking care of me," Clementine replied, pressing a kiss to her wife's cheek.  
"Thank you, Violet."

The family of three spent the rest of the day together, bowling, having dinner at a fancy restaurant for the first time, as paid for by Louis, and despite having one night left at the hotel, they decided to go home early. Back to their small house by the bay, where Mila would take walks with her mom's and all three of them would learn how to be a family for the first time.

Unbeknownst to them, their lives were about to change for the better.

~~~~~~


	11. i didn't read enough books about this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila's first birthday party turns into a celebration in another type of way.

"I can't believe that my little girl is turning one in a couple of days!" Violet exclaimed as she watched the small blonde pull herself up on the sofa with a broad and proud smile.  
"Mila, you're the best girl ever. I'm sorry but you're literally amazing. How can somebody so small be so talented? It makes noooo sense," She giggled, reaching out to brush her cheek.

"Why did you leave me in the room myself?" Came her wife's voice as she waddled into the room with a frown.  
"That was mean."

"You needed sleep."

"I barely slept, you just made me lonely," She huffed, taking a seat on the armchair closer to the door and wiping her forehead.

Violet grabbed beneath Mila's arms, picking her up and giving her a smooch on the cheek before focusing on her wife as the little girl stood on her lap.  
"Are you too warm, Clem?"

"It's summer. Why did the baby have to be due in summer? Why? What's the purpose? I'm way too hot for this. I need to change into something lighter."

"Any more complaints you'd like to air out?"

"That I'm huge, I'm sad, I don't want to be around people, I'm sad that everyone coming over for Mila's party is gonna be all over me and I just wanna go to bed and actually sleep but our little girl will not let me rest." She complained as she shifted in the seat.

Violet blinked before letting Mila down on to the floor, she stood up slowly and took a few steps to her wife where she then rested against the armrest and placed a hand on her stomach.  
"She's wiggling." Violet giggled.

"I know."

"She's really strong. Do you know if she's moved at all? As in, flipped?"

The brunette sighed, "I don't know. But I am worried. I don't wanna have a breech baby. I just want it all to go well with absolutely no complications," She expressed.

"I know you do and so do I." Violet exhaled as she dropped a kiss to her head, running her fingers through the mass of curls in front of her and scratching at them in a soothing manner.  
"But you only have a month left before she's born. I promise it'll be over soon."

"But I don't wanna actually give birth, I just wanted to carry the baby."

"All in one."

"Ughhhhhh!" She groaned, kicking her feet slightly. Violet continued to caress her wife's head before noticing Mila's wide eyes everytime her mom kicked her feet. Mila slowly made her way towards the blonde and Violet was forced to scoop her up and cradle her as she was becoming distressed.  
"What's wrong?" Clementine looked up at them and Violet struggled for words.

"Um, she, she's just anxious. You know how she gets when I leave her on her own for too long," Violet replied with red cheeks as she smooched the small girls cheek again.

Clementine bit her lip. "Am I scaring her?"

"What!? No, no, she's just nervous, you know..." Violet replied, popping Mila's pacifier into her mouth as she continued to hide her face from the brunette.

"I'm scaring her."

"You're not. She's just anxious. I'll put her in playpen," Violet anxiously scooted towards the playpen against the wall and reached in, putting the smaller girl into it where she focused on her toys instead of anything else. Violet watched her for a few moments and smiled at her before returning to her wife's aid.  
"Clem..."

"I'm okay."

"There's no need to cry about this. Mila's a complex baby. This is just what she does, it's not your fault." Violet sighed as she sat on the armrest, rubbing her shoulders and squeezing them.  
"You need to have a nice bath and get into something lighter. We have a meeting later with the foster services... to discuss the date when... when they're taking Mila back," Violet said anxiously, her eyes now looking at Mila as she played by herself in the pen.

Clementine's tears ran down her face again and Violet then felt guilty for bringing such a sensitive topic up.  
"I don't want her to go back, this is her home, she's ours. We've taught her to walk and talk and h-how to be comfortable and love and be on her own and now they're just gonna take her away from us and it's not fair!"

"Hey, we still have her for another two months." Violet said softly to her wife as she continued to massage her shoulders.  
"They haven't even called us to give us the time for our meeting today. Rest assured that our time with our best girl isn't over yet," Violet pressed a kiss to her wife's temple before standing up and stretching.

"You look pretty." Clementine smiled at her.

"Thank you." Violet replied, "We need to head in and collect Mimi's birthday cake, are you coming?"

"Yeeeesss! Get me out of this house!" She cheered, pumping her fist in the air excitedly.

"Are you not having a bath, then?"

"I'll have one tonight. If I get in, I won't get out."

Violet giggled as she took her wife's hand, helping her up from the seat.  
"Alright, let's get this baby birthday party in process."

~~~~~~~

"Mimi! Wait for mama, she's slow," Violet called after the girl who toddled off clumsily in front of her, attached to the backpack harness they'd purchased for her. The small girl slowed down, waiting patiently for her other mom who had a very grumpy expression as she caught up with her wife and took her hand.

"You keep leaving me behind!" Clementine expressed grumpily, "You're abandoning me allll the time. You're making your heavily pregnant wife walk off on her own!"

"I'm sorry baby," Violet frowned, pressing a soft kiss to her wife's cheek as Mila pulled her along again.  
"Is she sleeping?"

"No, she's not, she's moving around and it's hurting my back and I can't breathe." She whined. Violet sighed, holding her wife's hand tightly as they walked along, the blonde trying to keep a slow pace to not alarm her wife.

"Do you want to go get some ice cream? It could help you cool down and Mimi hasn't had ice cream in a while." Violet questioned as her wife toddled beside her.

"Mila's already going to have cake today. Are you sure she should have ice cream, too?"

"She can have what she wants, and so can you," Violet said before releasing her wife's hand and running up to Mila, catching her in her arms and cuddling her close before returning to her wife.  
"This little madam was running away from us!" Violet expressed, smooshing her cheek to the now laughing baby.

Clementine rolled her eyes at the pair before her phone vibrated in her pocket. She muttered some swear words as she patted around her jeans to get her phone. By now, Violet and Mila were in their own world, and she had to figure it out herself.  
Once she eventually found her phone, she immediately answered the call.

"Hello?" She spoke, her wife becoming quieter as she heard the brunette in conversation. Clementine stopped walking abruptly, indirectly causing her wife to panic. Violet furrowed her eyebrows and walked over to her wife's side before guiding her to sit down at a bench, listening in on her conversation.  
"Thank you, we understand. Thank you for letting us know." The brunette closed off the situation calmly.

Violet was preparing to ask about the conversation when her wife broke down in tears, her phone still in her hand.  
Violet panicked, sitting Mila on her lap, "Babe? What is it, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"O-One year," She sobbed.

"What?"

"We got custody of Mila," She explained through sobs, "For a year, another year, starting from, from when we were supposed to lose her," She whispered, and now Violet could see that her tears were anything but upset ones. They were filled and fueled by relief and love.

Violet scooted closer to her wife on the seat and wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her forearm with Mila on her lap leaning against her torso.  
"That's... that's great. That's... that's amazing, I can't believe it."

"We'll still have her in a year from now. We'll be celebrating her second birthday with her. I can't believe it. This is the best possible thing that could happen, I don't think this day could get any better," The brunette whispered as she now stared with teary eyes at the little girl on her wife's lap.

Violet smiled softly and didn't speak, knowing her wife was overly emotional as it is, but it was an emotional time regardless. She allowed the three of them to enjoy their sweet moment together, for what they had thought would be their last time, was actually one of their first. Once Clementine had calmed down, Violet allowed Mila to walk on her own a little though she was still attached to the harness, and took her wife's hand as they walked through the crowds of people and headed towards the bakery.

They were relieved to find that their cake was ready to collect and Violet took it awkwardly in her hands, Mila still attached to her by the harness. They walked across to the ice cream parlor and bought each of their favorite flavors - Violet's was vanilla. It would never go out of style and was never hard to find in a grocery store, which made it always accessible to her.

Clementine's was a combination of cookie dough and mint. Violet did honestly find it a little strange at first, but she knew better than to question her wife. And she had tried it before, on one of their dates, both of them had decided to swap ice cream flavours for the day. Though Violet would admit it was nice, it was just a bit too much for her.

And, Mila's? Well, it was anything but simple. There was a perfectly valid reason as to why she wasn't allowed ice cream all the time. Having only been introduced to exciting foods through her foster moms, the little girl had grown curious to everything that she could possibly eat - which was a good and bad thing. Getting her to eat vegetables? No problem. Not getting her to eat chocolate? A problem.

Violet carefully handed the cup to the girl who sat with wide eyes alongside the brunette who chuckled at her reaction. Violet knew her wife had been miserable lately, and so seeing her smile made the experience all worth it. She gave Mila her ice cream cup before passing Clementine her one and then sitting down and beginning to lick her own ice cream.

"Why didn't I get a cone?" The brunette frowned at the blonde.

Violet stopped, mid-lick, and looked at her wife with narrowed eyebrows.  
"Ba-bee."

"I didn't get a cone because I'm pregnant? Slightly prejudice, don't you think?"

Violet rolled her eyes and finished her licking of the cone before looking at her wife sternly.  
"You haven't had an ice cream cone since getting pregnant."

"Maybe I wanted one today. I probably won't be pregnant next time I get an ice cream."

"Do you want my one?"

"No, I'm just messing with you," She replied with a snicker as her wife shook her head before going back to eating her ice cream. Clementine focused on Mila, her face covered in ice cream already with hardly any of it hitting her mouth. She rolled her eyes.  
"Here," She reached down and took the spoon, scooping a little into it before slowly giving the girl the mouthful.  
"Mama Vi is silly because she gave you the ice cream to eat yourself and you're still a small girl,"

"Oops," Violet muffled as she shoved her ice cream into her mouth.

Clementine watched Mila take the spoonful with such manners, waiting patiently for it and taking it completely without dribbling any of it down her face. She was grateful to have been the one to teach her how to eat properly, knowing her wife certainly wouldn't have made her as manner full.

"That's enough now," She said as she took the ice cream tub away.  
"She needs something proper, not ice cream. This stuff isn't good for her. If she's throwing up tonight, you're waking up with her.'

"Nuh-uh. You're waking up too, involuntarily, because I know you can't sleep when something's wrong with her."

"But I'm not gonna be the one letting her puke on me. That's all on you."

"Great..."

Clementine looked into Mila's cup of ice cream before passing it to her wife. "Do you want this? There's a ton left. You got her three scoops, she only should've had one."

Violet sighed and scooped the cup towards herself, "Well, if you insist."

"She needs a bottle but I'm worried she might get too full and not eat dinner."

"What's her dinner?"

"Vegetable soup. I was gonna add in some chicken but I don't wanna upset her little tootsies considering the fact she's probably going to have cavities because of you," She stated with a dramatized pout on her lips.

Violet rolled her eyes at her wife's comment before a realization hit her, she went over the previous conversation they'd had and she spoke.  
"Wait, you made her dinner?"

"Yeah. It's at home in the fridge, she can't have it too warm."

"Y-You're eight months pregnant and still making dinner for her? I can do that! I've been doing it for weeks now!"

"I know you have, and you've done really well, but I couldn't sleep last night so I made some soup and put it in the fridge at home. I'll heat it up a little when we go home. It helps, it made me feel useful."

"You're not useless."

"I know, but, it just helped." She replied to her wife, "She seriously needs to eat something good though, so I think we should get home, feed the angel, let her have a nap and get ready for the... entourage... " She said tiredly before relaxing her head back.  
"Why, why, why did we choose to have a birthday party for her? She's too small to even know it's her birthday..."

"It's not so much a party, more of a get together. She deserves it for being the best baby ever and for getting so strong and confident. And it's only two hours, I don't intend on anyone staying after dark, mark my words." Violet promised her wife as she swallowed the last of Mila's ice cream.  
"Aren't we lucky Louis paid for the cake?"

"Really lucky. Fifty freaking dollars for a cake. For a toddler, nonetheless. Like, damn. He really got the fanciest baker around..." She was frowning as Mila now stood beside Violet, clinging to her chest and begging to be picked up. When had Mila even moved??  
"I wish I was working. I miss baking."

"Someday soon, me and you and Mila will be baking cookies for our new girl. I promise."

"Not you. You're banned from my kitchen. You're not allowed to use my oven, you can use the microwave and you can boil things, but don't touch my oven!"

Violet pouted, kissing Mila's cheek.  
"Mommy's mean."

"Nuh-uh."

"So mean. She doesn't even wanna have a party for you baby Mimi," Violet brushed through the girls curls with a grin as her wife rolled her eyes yet again.  
"Okay, seriously. Is it home time?"

"Yes, it's home time, I'm laying down before anybody comes over." The brunette exclaimed.  
"Let's get this... stupid day over with..."

~~~~~~~

"Happy birthday Mila," Violet sang as she swayed back and forth with the sheepish girl in her hands in there living room.  
"We're super proud of you," She kissed her cheek before returning to the kitchen where the party goers stood - her wife, Louis, Ruby, Brody and Marlon. Not all had been invited, but rest assured... all turned up.

Violet carefully sat the girl into her highchair, watching as she looked around the room with a worried face before Violet took her small hand in her own.  
"Hey Mila, these are your friends and they're all here to wish you a happy birthday. Me and momma are here too, okay?"

Mila looked anxious and seemed to close in on herself in her chair before the blonde placed a cupcake in front of her. It was as if her face lit up at that. Mila looked at her mom unsurely, who nodded encouragingly, before dipping her hand in graciously and taking the cupcake to her mouth messily.

Violet smiled proudly at her and couldn't even contain her giggles at the sight. "Mmm... Is that nice, Mila?"

"Momma," Mila said, holding out some of the mushed cupcake on her hand for the blonde. Violet reached out with a somewhat disgusted expression on her face and took the mushed cupcake in her hand and smiled awkwardly.

"Oh my, thank you so much, I don't know what to say..." She smiled before dropping it down gently back on the seat. "But it's your birthday, you have it." Violet finally said, making pretty much everyone in the room giggle.

All of them waited eagerly for Mila's impression of the cupcake, finding she was more than delighted with it. She continued to stuff her face with it as Clementine watched nervously, not wanting her to eat too much.

"That's a win in my book," Violet beamed as she walked over to the cake sitting on the counter.  
"Who wants cake?"

"Everyone!" Louis replied loudly, "You're starving us!"

Violet rolled her eyes as she took out some paper plates and a knife, beginning to cut the cake.  
"Let me just preface this by saying, Clem could've made this cake and it would've been ten times better than it is if she wasn't feeling shitty lately. So she gets the first slice." She insisted, taking the slice towards her wife.

The brunette chuckled at her wife's actions, looking from Violet to the cake and sighing, "You want to feed it to me like a baby?"

"Not like a baby, but you know I'll always take the opportunity to feed you a slice of cake since we missed that part of our wedding because somebody fell asleep." She raised an eyebrow at her blushing wife.

"I was tired, it was a long day." Clementine replied before taking a bite of the slice in her wife's hand.  
"It tastes good. I could've made it better, but it's okay. Mediocre, if I do say so myself."

"The cake is Clementine approved, everyone," Violet laughed before passing out the slices to all their friends, "Dig in, I need to talk to Clem for a moment."

"Taaaaaalk?! Really?! While everybody else is here?!" Louis questioned the girls. Violet glared at him, taking her wife's hand gently and taking her away.

"Stupid roach." She mumbled as she led her wife through the living room and into the hallway where she closed the door. She sighed.

"What's all this about? Are you okay? That's was very abrupt. Should we leave Mila with that many people? Vi?"

"I need to hug you," Violet said quietly as she wrapped her arms around her wife's form, feeling her own stomach being poked by her wife's bump. Violet relaxed almost instantly when her wife rubbed her back and returned the embrace, both staying in it for a few seconds before they pulled away.

Clementine looked over her wife worriedly, as if she were checking for any signs of physical harm despite having been with her wife all day.

"I just needed reassuring." Violet promised her. "I got overwhelmed. We need to get back to Mila."

"No, you can stay here for a few minutes and take a breather. Go into the room and listen to some music. I can deal with everything."

"I can deal with everything," She told her, "as long as I know you're both okay."

"We are."

"So let's do this together." Violet took her wife's hand, leading her back out to the party and back to Mila. 

The rest of the party went well, Mila opened her presents, she had received quite a lot from Louis and the girls were honestly questioning where it would all go, both Vi and Clem also received gifts from everybody, something they weren't aware was happening. Since Clementine had been too sick to go through with their baby shower, it seemed as though Louis had informed everybody to still bring gifts for them. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to the small family and they would forever be grateful.

Once everybody had gone, Mila was given a bath and dressed in her new fluffy pyjama's, courtesy of Brody and Marlon, and given a bottle before Violet tucked her in to her bed.   
Mila would sleep all night, Violet predicted, it hadn't been hard to get her asleep at all. She was exhausted.

The blonde closed over her bedroom door and turned off the hall light before slipping into her own room and laying next to her wife, only not beneath the covers. Violet's eyes lay open as she stared at her wife, deep and lost in thought. The day had been interesting, and had taught her a lot. But now? She was just confused.

Clementine shifted in the bed, doing an awkward shuffle to turn around and meet her wife's gaze after sensing she was awake. She reached out to touch her wife's face.  
"What's wrong? You can't sleep?"

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"Mila." She breathed out, "I don't want her to go, Clem."

"She's not going yet, Vi, we have custody over her for over a year yet. Try get some sleep." She tucked her blonde locks behind her ear before shifting to try and press a kiss to her cheek.

"But I don't want her to go. Not ever. I love her. She called me momma today. In her cute little baby voice. How am I supposed to just give her up like that didn't mean anything?" 

"I don't know."

"She's my baby now." She said with a sniffle, "I can't give her away."

"Then you know what we need to do."

"Do I?"

"Adopt her." Clementine suggested assertively. "Once we've fostered her for a year and two months, we're eligible to adopt her. This is the way things were always meant to be."

"But..." Violet trembled, "The baby..."

"Violet, we can have two kids. We can deal with that. Just think, when the baby comes anyway, Mila's going to love her, we can't just rip them away from each other. When you go to work, she sits with me and we talk about the baby. She's excited. We can't just take that away from her and we can't just give her up after two years of having her, the most important two years of her life, she's gotten to know us as her mom's. I'm fighting for her, even if you're not."

"I am. I'm fighting for her." 

"So? Are we in agreement that we're going to adopt Mila?" Clementine took Violet's hands with an excitable smile.

Violet smiled gently, "Yeah. We're in agreement. We're going to adopt Mila, whatever the cost."

Violet pressed a kiss to her wife's cheek as she squealed beneath her, the blonde now ecstatic after seeing her wife smile at last. She wrapped an arm around her form and pressed her palm to her stomach, both now finally at peace with the day.

"Today was great." Violet said, "And our little madam is pretty jumpy in there, don't you think? Clem? Are you okay?"

"Vi..."

"What? What is it?!"

Clementine swallowed, hearing her wife shift in the bed to sit up beside her. "Violet, my water broke."

"No it didn't."

"It did."

"It can't have, y-you're early! Only thirty six weeks tomorrow, I'm sure..." Violet looked nervously.

Clementine sat up as best she could with the help of her wife, who jumped from the bed and ran around to hold her hands as she held her up.  
"Is it bad?"

"The bed is... well, drenched, I guess," Violet told her wife as she held her up.  
"Okay, okay, we haven't packed the bags, I'll do that, uhhh, contractions, have you had any?"

"I don't know! I don't know what they feel like! How am I supposed to know if I've had them?!"

"Okay! Alright!" Violet paled, "I'm going to pack the bags, get the car seat in the car, call me if you have a contraction because we need to time the-"

"Just hurry up with the other stuff so we can go to the hospital," Clementine waved her off, "I'm ready for this to be done with."

"I think that might be a while..."

"Vi, go pack the bags or I swear to God," She grumbled, "I'm changing, then I'm going to get Mila out of bed, she'll have to come with us to the hospital because I'm not waiting until Brody gets here, she can meet us there."

"Okay!" Violet raced into the living room to retrieve the bags, the only one that was packed so far was the baby's one and even that was lacking. She returned to the room and dropped the bags on the bed before taking out anything she could find and throwing it in.

"Don't forget underwear, you forgot that when I had surgery."

"Check," Violet mumbled, throwing everything into the bag, she decided it would have to do befote zipping it up then she went to the baby's bag.  
"How many onesies did we need?"

"Just put three in for now, have you got diapers?"

"I have... two..." Violet said as she looked around the case, "Aha! Three!"

"Did you put my gown into the suitcase?"

"...yeah..." Violet lied, knowing she'd need to get it in without her wife seeing immediately.

"Good, I'll get Mila,"

"Have you had any contractions?"

"Nope! I'm right as rain!" She called as she walked into the little girls room.

"I'm sure..." Violet mumbled, now feeling anxious about the idea of having a baby in her home.

She didn't read enough books about this.


	12. no, you pushed through it, like you did and like you'll do now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine and Violet finally welcome their baby girl into the world, complete with *minor* complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, quick few notes.
> 
> \- my friend pyre (pyroandrea) helped me write a lot of this chapter as I really was struggling, so thank you to her.
> 
> \- I will be posting a new chapter of my story "bullshit and lies" within the next few weeks, I promise. I plan to update all the stories on my account, it'll just take a while.
> 
> \- please give me feedback in the comments, and tell me what you wanna see, I appreciate it, I'm low on ideas.
> 
> Thank you

The race to the hospital had been faster than anticipated, with Violet barely even stopping the car before she got Mila and her wife out, racing them into the facility. Brody had assured them she was on her way, but it didn't look like that as it had now been nearly an hour since Clementine's water had broken.

They'd been checked in and now awaited an examination, only Brody was taking her sweet time and so Mila sat in her stroller with Violet's phone, watching some strange thing on it outside of the room, though still in view of the blonde. One of the nurses had assured her that she'd stay with the little girl when the blonde couldn't be around, but she was still worried about her. Mila was very nervous, and the idea of her having to be with a stranger, a nurse of all things, it terrified her.

"Momma loves you, Mi, but mama isn't feeling good so I have to stay with her for the night. I'm going to call you and talk to you and I'll be home to see you for a while tomorrow," Violet snuggled her chest and kissed all around her face.  
"I love you my little bunny." She booped her nose before returning to her wife's aid in the room.

"I'll pop out this baby on my own if they don't hurry up."

"You're taking this really well, Clem, I have to say, I'm kind of surprised. The way you acted when you told me your water broke, I thought you were gonna panic."

"Somebody has to be level headed, they haven't even confirmed my l-labor, fuck," She said through gritted teeth.

"Contraction?" Violet held her hand as tightly as she could as her wife nodded. Violet felt awkward, and honestly a little scared, but didn't move an inch from her wife's side.

"Vi?"

"Yeah?"

"I feel so disgusting and they're going to have to look at my... bits and I don't want that." She said with a disgusted tone which made her wife giggle.

"I know it's not ideal babe but if they want the baby to come out, it's kind of important for them to see... where she's coming from?" Violet explained awkwardly to her wife who didn't care and just sighed and said;

"I want this to be over."

"We haven't even got into the room yet. You have to get the epidural, still."

"I really, really don't want to, I don't like needles."

"But you don't wanna be in pain, Clem. You'll regret it if you don't, I think we learned that from all those weird birthing shows you forced me to watch." Violet said as she took her wife's hand to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before sighing and smiling at her.  
"We're going to meet our baby girl soon. And she still hasn't got a name."

"I hope she's got your pretty nose," Clementine whispered to her wife as if it were a secret, "I wanna hold a mini you and kiss her little nose." She explained to the blonde who leaned down, allowing her wife to press a small kiss to her nose.

Violet smiled as she pulled away, continuing to stroke her wife's hand while they waited for the doctor. A nurse popped her head in, the one who had been looking after Mila, with Violet's phone in her hand and gave it to her, explaining that Brody had picked her up already. Violet thanked her and spoke once she left the room.  
"Mila's sleep is all messed up now. I hope she's okay, that she can get some more snooze before the night is over."

"How inconvenient of the baby to come now," The brunette grunted as she squeezed her wife's hand tightly, already with more force than before.  
"Vi, this is getting too much, where's the damn doctor?"

"I'm going to have to get her," Violet shook her head, standing from her wife's side, she leaned over to kiss her forehead before standing straight again. "This isn't right, I'll be right back,"

"No, no, please don't go," The brunette whimpered, "I can wait, I don't want to be alone. I'm scared."

"Clem,"

"Please Vi, I'm scared, I don't want scary doctors or nurses I just want you right now to tell me that it's gonna be fine,"

Violet was quiet for a moment before nodding slowly, she hovered over her wife's face and pressed a kiss to her lips as she kept a tight grip on her hands, speaking to her clearly.  
"You're not alone in any of this, I promise you. In a few hours time, we'll be a family of four, Clem, because of you, I'm not going to leave you alone. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Just as the brunette said those words, the doctor finally walked through the door, introducing herself. Violet swore under her breath and stood up straight, holding her wife's hand tightly as the doctor examined her.

Clementine shot her wife a worried glance when the doctor didn't say anything. It was the unsettling feeling of uncertainty in her stomach finally overflowing, she squeezed Violet's hand and muttered an impatient, "So?" to the doctor.

Violet grinned, her wife had always been this way. A fighter. Outspoken. Had a slight attitude. Would absolutely beat somebody if necessary, and incredibly impatient. The fact she still carried this attitude even when she was in labor just made the blonde love her more.

The doctor looked up at the brunette and spoke.  
“The baby is coming, she’s coming early, yes, but we don’t see any reason why she wouldn’t be perfectly healthy. We’ll have a team in here ready to give her the best care possible the second she’s born.” The woman promised, but Violet couldn't help but hate her tone. She seemed bitter, as if she were mad at the brunette for being concerned about where she was at in terms of labor. Violet held her wife's hand tighter, protective instincts kicking in.

“So I’ll be able to deliver her.. um… naturally then? Are you guys giving me drugs?" Clementine asked, unsure if the position of the baby had changed since the last ultrasound, she shifted uncomfortably on the bed as Violet still had not let go of her hand.

“Naturally?” The doctor questioned with a quirked eyebrow, “You mean, without drugs?”

“No!! I want drugs, please give me drugs! I need them soon, please give me them,” Clementine was quick to insist, leaning her head back slightly in discomfort.

Violet chuckled lightly, rubbing her wife’s arm as she turned to face the doctor instead, ready for her wife to finally be out of pain and discomfort at last.  
"What Clem means is, will she be able to deliver the baby vaginally or do you think she’ll need a c-section? She was breech at our last ultrasound, that was three weeks ago now." She bit her lip anxiously after she said the words.

“Oh, hmmm.” The doctor pulled out Clementine’s file and thumbed through the documents, finally pulling out one and reading it,  
"I see what you mean. We'll have to do an ultrasound to determine the position of the baby, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to have a c-section, we could try to turn her over instead... though you're progressing quite fast..." She pondered to herself, unaware of the anxiety she was causing the women.

"What do you mean turn her? They never said anything about that at the appointment, does it hurt?" The brunette asked, her head spinning in fear.  
Violet wrapped an arm around her awkwardly, just trying to make sure she knew that her wife was there as the doctor spoke.

"It's where we apply pressure to your abd-"

"I don't want that," She shook her head stubbornly, "That might hurt her, I don't want her to be hurt."

Violet sighed as she stroked her wife's arm now, "Clem, if it's what's best,"

"Nope, not happening."

"I'll do the ultrasound and we'll decide from there," the doctor patted Clementine on the foot and left, just as a contraction took over her body. She leaned her head back on the pillow, gritting her teeth with a whine. Violet grabbed onto her hand and massaged it as she whispered,  
“I know it hurts now, but think about when you're holding our little girl in your arms, it's all gonna be worth it.”

Clementine sank heavily into her pillow as her muscles relaxed and the contraction waned, she leaned her head to the side tiredly as if not wanting to see her wife, "Is the baby out yet?” She inhaled deeply.

“Unfortunately, she's not, she's teasing us, I know it sucks,” Violet tried not to laugh as the doctor came back in rolling a machine along with her, “Soon though, real soon.” They held hands as the doctor set up the machine and pulled up Clementine’s hospital gown. Violet held her blankets in place to protect her wife’s modesty, the brunette now full of anxiety as the doctor slid the transducer around her belly for the last time.

“You’re right,” the doctor said, looking at the small screen, “She's still breech, let's see how dilated you are and then we can decide if turning the baby is even an option.” She washed her hands and pulled on gloves and sat on a stool at the foot of the hospital bed.

So much for protecting Clementine’s modesty Violet thought as blankets were pushed passed her knees to that the doctor could get a look at her pelvis. Violet, though not normally squeamish, winced at it. She really felt for her wife and respected her for what she had to have done.  
“She’s at a 9.” The doctor stood up, pushing the nurse call button as she stood, throwing her gloves in the trash.

“Yes?” The nurse popped her head into the room.

“Call and have the operating room prepped immediately. Mrs. Everett needs to be brought down the second it’s ready.” The doctor said to the nurse before turning her attention to Clementine, “I know this isn’t the birth everyone dreams of, but for the safety of your baby, you’re going to need a c-section and that baby wants out, so we need to do it soon. Ready to get that baby out?”

“I've been ready for weeks now.” Clementine enthused, squeezing Violet’s hand as another contraction came. 

“If you think this is safest.” Violet agreed, watching as nurses rushed in to unhook Clementine from her machines and started wheeling her down the hall after the doctor.

Violet was anxious as she walked, rubbing her arm and feeling as if something were trying to prevent her from following her wife in that moment. She stopped and leaned against the wall, taking a gasp and trying to steady her breath.

"Violet?" Came a familiar voice. She snapped her head in Louis's direction and felt a wave of relief wash over her as she smiled at the sight of him.

Violet rushed foreword and wrapped her arms around him, embracing herself in a hug. It was a surprise to him at first, but he could tell she really needed it when she didn't pull away for a good few seconds.

"How did you know?" She asked him weakly.

"Brody told me. And I was in the hospital anyway," He said with a grin, "Stella Sulieman, seven pounds. She's got hair as red as Sophie's."

"That's great," Violet replied, somewhat uninterested.  
"I have to go, I can't leave Clem on her own."

"I understand,"

"I - I'm sorry, I'm sorry," She repeated as she ran down the hall, finding herself scared now that she'd left her wife alone in this state.

Before Violet even knew it, her and her wife were in the white walled, sterile smelling OR, preparing to meet their baby. Violet washed herself up and put on the appropriate clothing as her wife signed papers for the anesthesiologist.

Violet hurried in as quickly as she could, finding her wife sitting up on the small gurney, hugging a pillow to her chest. She took a moment to take in the sight of her and her heart ached. Though she'd always been strong, there was almost nothing that Clementine hated more than hospital's and needles and surgeries. Violet only wished she could wrap her arms around her and comfort her, but she had to keep it appropriate.

She walked towards her wife who looked over at the sound of footsteps. She then averted her gaze to her legs and sighed as Violet stood beside her now. “Hey, how are you feeling?" The blonde asked gently.

A deep breath, "They said I have to get a needle in my spine. And I don't want to. But I have to. But I really, really don't want to."

Violet's face softened and she crouched in front of her anxious wife, looking over her terror filled face before she spoke.  
"Clem?"

"Hmm...?"

"Remember when we find out you were pregnant, on Christmas Eve?"

"Of course... how could I forget? Christmas... didn't have any real meaning to me before that."

"Right," Violet spoke, locking eyes with her wife, she reached a hand up to stroke the back of her hand and spoke to her.  
"How did you feel?"

"Excited,"

"And?"

"Happy, more than happy, ecstatic, the happiest I'd ever been."

Violet quirked an eyebrow, "And?" She asked knowingly.

The brunette let out a deep breath and looked at her wife, right in the face. She stared into her green eyes for a while, finding herself getting lost in them, before she finally answered.  
"I was terrified. Of losing the baby, and of not having money and of going through it all, a-and-"

"But what did you do about the fact you were terrified? Did you spend your entire pregnancy worrying about it, did you let it get in the way of the things we planned together? No, you pushed through it, like you always do and like you'll do now. I'm with you, I promise." Violet said as she pressed her lips to her wife's own ones.

“Now take a deep breath and hold it.” The anesthesiologist said. Clementine did as she was told, feeling a sharp pinch in her back and then nothing. Time seemed to move fast after that as the nurses hurried to lay the brunette down on her back before she could fall over from being numb.

It didn't take long before the surgery began, but Clementine could hardly feel anything at all, only the soft palm of her wife's hand as it rested at her shoulder.

A paper cover was erected to hide the surgery from Clementine’s view, though the brunette would often catch her wife trying to get a peek at the baby.

"Vi?"

"Hmm?" She hummed in response.

"When the baby's born, will you make me some pancakes?"

"I'll make you all the pancakes you want," Violet replied with a warm smile before catching her wife's eyebrows furrow as she settled back.  
"How do you feel?"

"I'm okay, it's kind of uncomfortable, but I'm not in pain. I'm kind of just scared."

"And yet here you are, taking it like a champion," Violet said as she stroked her cheek. "You are insane, you know that? I don't know how you've done this for so long. And you never complained once."

"I did complain, I did it a lot."

"But you haven't complained at all since we got in here, and even so, it's your damn right to complain." Violet said as she caressed her wife's hand. The next few minutes were filled with silence mostly from the girls, with Violet crouching to speak to her wife privately at every chance she got.

It was as the blonde was explaining how proud she had been to marry her that the first cry of their baby girl could be heard in the room, suddenly drowning out all noise and erasing any thoughts from the mom's minds, the only thing they could focus on was her.

What did she look like? Did she have Violet's hair? Violet's eyes? All these questions ran through their heads, but all too fast.

Violet gripped her wife's hand tightly and watched in real time as her honey eyes filled with tears, she kissed her cheek before standing up straight for a moment.

"Where is she?" Her wife whispered as she looked up at the blonde wearily, "I have to see her, I want her now, please get her,"

Violet looked around frantically, panic setting in and she could hardly focus on anything else as she tried to speak.  
"Is she okay, where is she? Why can't we see her?!" Violet cried out in a panic, only hoping that somebody would explain it to her soon enough.

It was then that a nurse stepped over to them with the bundle in her arms, Violet felt her heart go numb for a second before the woman spoke.  
"She's looking good, healthy, we'll have to check her in a moment but you can hold her for now,"

Violet was anxious and swallowed back nervously as her shaky arms reached out, "I - can I?" She asked the nurse who nodded slowly before passing the baby, still crying, to the blonde and showing her how to hold her correctly.

Violet stared at her face and took it in. Her skin, as pale as her own. She didn't have hair at all, which meant that her hair color would be a mystery to the girls, but Violet didn't mind. Her baby girl had her button nose, after all.

"She's got my nose, Clem," Violet whispered to her wife, reaching out very carefully to stroke her daughter's cheek as her own tears finally spilled.  
"She's everything you've ever wanted, she's everything,"

"I never thought I'd get to see you hold something in your arms that belongs to me and you," the brunette whispered as she listened to her daughter cry in her wife's arms, no longer able to worry about anything other than the small bundle of life she held.

They took the baby to be cleaned and examined across the room, with Violet staying with her. She couldn't get over her small nose or how perfect she looked. Violet had always thought that babies looked the same when they were born, but her daughter was something else. 

Her daughter.

Her and Clementine's daughter.

Wow.

Once the nurses and doctor deemed her safe and healthy, she was handed to the blonde who took her back to her wife immediately as she was being stitched up.

"Clem," Violet said softly as she tried to stop her tears from flowing her again, her eyes on her daughter for one of the first times. "What's her name?"

"H-Her name, I chose," She stuttered, trying to breathe steadily for a moment, "I chose Molly, like after your foster sister because she meant so much to you, but you can change it if it's too... personal."

"What could be more personal that this?" Violet questioned in a soft toned voice. Now that the baby had calmed down, Violet could show her wife more clearly.  
"Molly it is. Welcome to the family, Molly Everett."

~~~~~~~~~

Clementine was stitched up and wheeled off to the recovery room, her wife and daughter joining alongside her soon after. Both of them were completely in love with their baby girl, as expected, but it felt more intense now that they could see and touch her, and know what she sounded like.

Violet lay her head against her wife's shoulder, her thumb idly stroking the back of the small, velvety soft hand that wrapped around her finger in a weak grasp. Violet lips curled into a smile, resting her head deeper in the crook of her wife's neck before a noticably deep inhale from her wife tore her from her thoughts.

Violet shifted slightly and focused on her wife, studying her face worriedly, unaware if the brunette even knew she was being watched before she spoke.

"Vi?"

"Do you need a nurse?"

"I don't know how I feel about this. I'm anxious."

Violet carefully shifted closer to her on the bed, determined to not disturb their baby as her finger was still between her hand.a  
"Listen, it's scary, but-"

"It's not that."

"It's not?"

She shook her head quietly, her eyes staring at the girl in her arms. Violet bit at her bottom lip in thought, she went over everything but couldn't find anything of value before she spoke once more.  
"Then what is it, Clem?"

"I'm scared of doing this, I didn't think we'd get this far. I never had a plan for what to do next. I can't take care of a baby, I don't know how," She said through barricades of tears.

Violet softened, "Hey, yes you can. You warmed up to Mila so, so fast and you're the best mom ever to her. It's gonna be scary and tough trying to figure it out but we wouldn't trade our girls for the world. She needs you now, she's small," Violet explained softly.

"I know that, I'm just scared, I feel... I feel like I'm incapable of things and I feel weak and sick all the time and, I'm just really, really anxious,"

"You're vulnerable, too." Violet pressed a kiss to her wife's head. "I'm gonna take care of you. Me and Mila are gonna take care of you, she's been doing it for weeks now."

"Poor Mila," Clementine suddenly said as her eyes roved over the girl in her arms, "Her birthdays in a few days... I hope I'll be home to celebrate with her,"

"You will be." Violet said before noticing one of the baby's small feet sticking out of her blanket. Violet reached out her thumb very, very gently and rubbed at the sole of it before smiling. "Her little tootsies are so tiny."

"Mila's going to look like a monster next to her."

"Mila will be more terrified of her than Molly will be of Mila. We better take a picture of her to show our big girl before she comes home and take over," Violet giggled quietly as she continued to stroke her daughter's foot.  
"She's a calm baby... She's very chill."

"Come to think of it though, she always was. She only moved every once in a while to kind of remind us she was there. I think we've got a little lazy baby girl, and I can't say I mind." She expressed to her wife. Clementine curiously pulled the blankets away from the baby's chest and surrounding torso, watching her move suddenly with the movement as she did.

"Shhh," She soothed her, "I'm sorry," She apologized, finishing what she was doing and smiling proudly at the sight.  
"I've never, in all my life, seen little fingers so small. Mila seemed tiny when she came to us. But Molly, she's just... unbelievable."

"She's an angel, is what she is. I don't think it's registered yet that she's ours or that she's the baby you've been carrying all this time, has it registered for you?"

She shook her head slowly, Molly's small hand wrapped around her finger, she grinned.  
"Hasn't," She said slowly as tears overcame her face, "I'm sorry,"

"It's okay to cry."

"She's just really... pretty, like you, and it makes me sad because she's pretty and I just don't want this moment to end because when we go home, things will have to go back to normal..." She said through tears once more as Violet tried to quickly think of something to calm her down.

"This is normal now. Our baby is normal now. Mila and Molly, our girls, are normal now. There's nothing wrong with that, we're gonna be alright, I'm gonna make sure of it." Violet leaned her head against her wife's and listened to the soft breaths escaping her lips.  
"Get some sleep, you've worked hard."

"I don't wanna sleep, I need to look at her. I'm worried I'll wake up and it'll all be a dr-dream, ugh they really fucked me over with the stitches, it doesn't feel right at all,"

"See? Your stitches will help you realize this isn't a dream," Violet kissed her cheek, "Close your eyes for fifteen minutes, we'll still be here." She reached out to slowly take Molly's small, warm body in her arms and hold her close to her chest.

"Cuddle me, please."

Violet wrapped an arm around her wife's shoulder and held on to her gently, Molly in one arm as the three of them huddled close to get through the night, their daughters first night in the world.

And it was anything but peaceful.


	13. finally a family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet prepares to take Molly home & Mila adjusts to the new arrival.

Molly's first night in the world had been tough, especially considering the fact she'd been born pretty late at night. She'd cried most of her time so far, and Violet and Clementine were considering writing apology letters to any other families who may or may not have heard their little ones pipes throughout the night.

But alas, she'd settled down, and fallen to sleep in the bassinet provided by the hospital. Now Violet lay beside her wife and Clementine lay beside the blonde, one peacefully asleep at last, and the other, not so much.

Clementine couldn't move much in the bed for fear of hurting herself, she could see Molly from the corner of her eye, sleeping soundly without any knowledge of what was going on in life, and Violet, the exact same. Clementine took a moment to acknowledge how similar they looked, even now though Molly was still young, she could already tell that she had her wife's features.

"Fuck," The brunette winced slightly as she shifted in the bed to try and get a look at her wife's watch on her arm. She took Violet's hand carefully and examined it, three in the morning it read, before she dropped it and winced in pain again.

She felt alone and hopeless as tears pricked her eyes for what felt like the millionth time this night, and soon she began to cry. Warm tears ran down her face and she could already tell she'd have a massive headache in the morning but in that moment, it just didn't matter.

It just didn't matter until her wife shifted beside her in the bed, disturbed by the soft sobs, Violet's eyes opened slowly as the brunette tried to calm herself down so that she could pass as sleeping.

But Violet knew her wife.

"Clem..." Violet's voice was croaky from sleep, her vision blurry, she awaited until she could see clearly to confront her wife. Violet found tear tracks down her cheeks and panicked.  
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" She sat up carefully to examine her wife who just shook her head.

"I'm not."

Violet noticed the pain stricken expression on her wife's face and sighed, reaching out to rub away the tear stains on her face with her thumb.  
"Clemmy, I know you're not being honest, are you not feeling well? Is it your stitches?"

She shook her head as her mind became overwhelmed and spoke, "My shoulder just hurts real bad, it's stiff and sore and it hurts, and I want Molly to be with me but she's so far,"

"Not that far," Violet replied, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and taking a few steps towards the bassinet. She carefully reached in, taking out the small girl and returning to the bed where she now lay her in between the both of them.  
"See? One problem fixed, simple solution." Violet said as she climbed up beside her wife again.

"I'm dramatic."

"You're not," Violet sighed, reaching up her hand to rub at Clementine's shoulder, "You're just messed up. That's okay. You've been through a lot, neither of us thought the birth would be as it was."

"I don't like needles," She said quietly as her eyes focused on Molly, a grin now appearing on her face, she reached a hand down to let the sleeping girl wrap her hand around her finger, "But it was worth it for her. I'd do it all again for her, a thousand times over."

"I know you would, and I'd do anything for her, too," Violet said, allowing the small girl to wrap her hand around her finger, too.

Both women stayed in that position, staring at their new love for a few minutes in complete and utter silence, one that was peaceful, before finally Clementine broke the quiet with a remark.

"She's got five little fingers around each of her mom's finger. Literally wrapped round us."

"Four."

"What?"

"She's got four fingers."

"No, five."

"Thumbs not a finger."

"Oh, shush..."

~~~~~~~~

Leaving Clementine alone, especially in such a raw state of emotions, was anything but easy for Violet. She wanted nothing more than to stay with her wife and dote on her, to hold their daughter in her arms and tell her how proud she was of everything that she'd achieved but alas, Mila was a priority, too. 

The thing is, Molly had Clementine, she wouldn't deny herself to be fed or cleaned or held, she was asleep pretty much all the time, which was good. But Mila, she was older, and aware of how people can be sometimes, and so needed a trusted guardian there with her to teach her that sometimes her mom's just couldn't be with her.

Violet opened the door to her home, finding the first person to greet her being her foster daughter. Mila sat in her playpen, surrounded by numerous things, and as soon as she saw her mom, began to bounce in anticipation of being held by her.

"Momma!" She squealed.

The blonde ran over and reached in to pick her up, not getting a chance to properly snuggle her because Mila was all over her, pressing wet kisses to her face everywhere.

"Baby girl, I've missed you so, so much!" Violet expressed, hugging her small body as close as possible. Violet pressed kisses all around Mila's face as she had done for her before pulling her away slightly to look over her.  
"My pretty girl, you're perfect!"

"Hey! You're home!" Brody smiled, standing in the doorway that lead to the hall with a pile of towels in her hand.  
"I was just putting away the laundry."

"You didn't have to do that," Violet told her friend who just shrugged in response.

"I did. I've cleaned your house, your bedsheets have been changed, it's all sorted, how's Clem? And the baby?"

"They're both doing okay, but I hated leaving them. They're both... vulnerable at the moment," Violet said sadly before focusing on Mila, "But I had to come see my best girl! We missed you so much, Mila, mommy and I can't wait to introduce you to your little sister."

Mila ignored the comment and wrapped her arms around Violet's neck, grumpily snuggling to her cheek, she spoke.  
"Mama?"

"Mama's in the hospital, but she's okay," Violet assured her, swaying gently with the girl in her arms. "Has she eaten, Brody?"

"Vi, all she's done is sleep, poor thing. She's been too scared of me."

"Alright, I'll feed her," Violet said, walking into the kitchen with Mila in her arms. Violet sat Mila into her highchair and went to fetch her some food, finding that her cabinet that Clementine and her had previously used for their assortments of canned fruit was now taken over by baby food.

Not that she minded.

"Have you named the baby yet?" Brody questioned her friend, coming back to the kitchen having put clothes away.

Violet nodded, sitting down with Mila and twisting the small jar open, she took out her spoon and began to scoop out a tiny bit for her before taking it to the hungry girls lips. "We've named her Molly, after my foster sister. We're deciding on a middle name, Clem was thinking of something that runs in her family but she doesn't really like her family." Violet explained as Mila took the spoon in her mouth, not missing a single spot.

"No kiddin'."

"Is that nice, Mila?" Violet questioned with a grin as the hungry girl was practically following the spoon in her hand. "Clem and baby should be home tomorrow. We originally planned for me to stay with Mila tonight but I just don't feel comfortable with them not having me there, the nurses don't check up on her as much as they should and she's having some trouble with her stitches."

"I'm okay to stay with Mila tonight, give me something better to do than watch Marlon play video games for three hours straight." Brody nodded.

Violet frowned, gazing at Mila like she was lost in thought as she allowed her to give her another spoonful.  
"I don't like leaving her with strangers, Brody. She's just still really nervous. She needs me."

"I know, Vi..."

"But I can't leave Clem and Molly,"

"How about you stay here for a while with Mila, try get her to become more accustomed to me, then when Mila's asleep, go see Clem and the baby?"

Violet exhaled deeply, "Yeah, that could work, I guess."

"Great! Well, you feed her, and I'm gonna go change her bedsheets." Brody said with a grin as she escaped off down the hall to the little girls bedroom.

Once Mila had finished up her food, Violet cleaned her off and went leave the jar and spoon in the sink to be cleaned before she returned to Mila, picking her up and giving her a squeeze with a grin.

"Was that nice?" Violet asked the girl who clung to her now, hugging her tightly and nodding unsurely. Violet giggled and walked towards the drawer in the living room. "Better do this before I forget," She began, "Clem wants deodorant, I need some extra diapers for Moll's, I bet you'll love her Mila," Violet said, pressing a kiss to Mila's blonde head before opening the drawer, balancing her foster daughter in one arm.

Violet sighed at the sight in front of her before scoffing. Of course she'd forgotten.  
"Clem told me to get diapers and I didn't. Well, looks like me and you are going shopping, Mimi,"

"What's that?" Brody questioned as she walked into the room with Mila's dirty sheets, going to stuff them into the washing machine despite Violet knowing they didn't need to be washed. Brody just liked to help out.

Violet sighed. "I didn't get enough diapers, we thought we'd have more time." She said stressfully. "We still had a month and two days in our minds, didn't think Molly'd come this early."

"I'll get them for you if you want,"

"No, no, it's okay," She replied as she bit at her lip, "I wish I was with Clem, I hope she's okay."

"She's probably sleeping with that little baby of yours bundled up in her arms, I wouldn't worry too much. I bet she's over the moon."

"She is, but, you know, I just don't want her to be alone, but Mila needs me and stuff," Violet shook her head in a bid to rid her bad thoughts, "Me and Mila are gonna go and get some diapers, you can stay here and get a rest, you've done enough for me."

"Vi, are you sure? I don't think you should be alone right now either."

"I'm positive," Violet replied as she took Mila towards the sofa and sat her down, she then grabbed her shoes from the shoe rack by the door and began to slip them onto her feet.

"One little shoe, two little shoes, already to go out," Violet smiled, pressing a kiss to Mila's nose before picking her up.

"See you later, Vi," Brody waved her friend off as Violet and Mila set off to find and collect the rest of the items needed for Molly.

~~~~~~~

"Mila, get back here," Violet rolled her eyes at the small girls excitement. Mila got onto the floor and giggled as the blonde caught up with her, placing her hands on her sides and picking her up to cradle her to her chest.  
"Floors dirty baby, no. I know you're excited that you can move on your own but don't go running off on me, okay?"

"Momma," Mila said quietly, snuggling her lips to the blondes cheeks as if to give her a kiss. Violet giggled at her.

"Listen to you, momma, momma, momma, that's all you say," Violet tickled beneath Mila's arms causing a wheeze and uncontrollable giggles to leave the small girls body as she jerked and bounced in her arms. As she was jumping, Mila noticed something, something small and made just for little girls her size, and she was jumping towards it now and repeatedly saying her mom's name in an attempt to get it.

Violet pursed her lips and furrowed her brows, "I think you're too small for that, honey."

Mila whined, arching her body towards the small kiddies shopping cart. Violet sighed and shook her head, walking towards it and grabbing one, she let Mila to her feet and watched as she clumsily grabbed onto the cart with an excited gurgle.

"You're so big! Look at you!" Violet giggled, watching Mila closely. Violet pursed her lips for a moment before she made a decision. She reached into the bottom of the stroller and took out the harness that the little girl usually wore. Violet was careful as she reached out and wrapped the harness around Mila, fastening in before standing back and holding the harness as Mila started to clumsily walk.

Violet watched as the girl led her, anxious about her falling but Mila seemed okay. Violet led her to the aisle they were there for, where Mila stopped and began to pull everything from the shelves and into her cart.

"You're very helpful, let's try and get only one of each though, Mimi. We have a budget of fifty dollars and mom's pump costs fifteen," Violet said, her eyes on the list in her hand as Mila ignored her and continued what she was doing. 

"Fancy seeing you here," Violet turned on her heel at the voice, already knowing who it was. She rolled her eyes to the sky when he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed as tightly as he could.

"Why aren't you with your wifey and your baby?!" Louis asked as he released the blonde from his grip. Violet smoothened out her clothes and averted her gaze from her friend before clearing her throat.

"Oh, hey, Sophie..." Violet said with a sigh before slowly taking steps back towards Mila, wanting to be close as to ensure her safety.  
"I didn't think you'd be out of the hospital already."

"Stella's nearly five days old. And her birth was completely smooth and perfect, I feel great!" The redhead replied as Violet eyed her up and down, taking more of the fact she was in a wheelchair.  
"This is just for dramatic affect, I'm okay."

"Mhm," Violet nodded, feeling awkward amongst them. "So, uh, how's your baby?"

"She's perfect in every way, she's in the car with the driver," Louis gushed, "We came out to pick her up some diapers, she's going through them fast."

"Thought you'd have butlers for that sorta thing."

"We gave them all time off for the first few weeks so we can learn on our own. It's fun to not have people do stuff for you, to actually have to work for stuff, you know?"

Violet scoffed at that, but they didn't seem to notice.

"What about Clem? Things seemed hectic at the hospital, was everything okay?" He questioned her, and the blonde nodded slowly as if she were lost in thought.

"She had an emergency c-section. But she's... she's okay... for the most part. Stitches weren't done right... she may have an infection... but she's okay besides that and the emotional thing, but she'll be home tomorrow." Violet explained, feeling almost intimidated under Sophie's gaze, as if she were being interrogated by the pair.

Sophie nodded with a half smile on her lips before spotting Mila, who now curled up against Violet's leg shyly. She came closer with a grin.  
"I don't think me and Mila have had a proper introduction. We were supposed to meet at the wedding, all those months ago, but she seemed to disappear before we could, can I talk to her?"

"She's not a baby baby, she can talk," Violet corrected, swallowing dryly out of anxiety. "But she'd rather not talk to anyone right now, she's confused about everything."

"Of course," She replied as she moved back from Mila before locking eyes with the blonde, "So, are you guys giving her back now that you've got your baby?"

Violet swallowed again, only now looking at Mila's eyes for a moment.

Although she didn't know everything that was being said, Violet could see in her eyes that the words "giving her back" meant something to her, and not something good.

She faced the redhead, catching Louis's eye as she spoke bitterly.  
"We have custody of Mila for the next year and two months. We're applying for adoption in a couple of months, too. She's our daughter, for your information."

"But she's not really yours though, right? Like, you're renting her. I mean, you've got your baby now, I don't wanna sound rude but, you've had your experience, do you really need Mila?"

Violet fumed and Louis could swear she had turned red by this. Still, she turned around and rubbed Mila's back soothingly, showing her all the items they still needed to get before finally, Mila focused her attention back on the small cart.

"We need to get a move on, Clem can't be alone, bye." She said assertively as her and Mila began to walk, the small girl doing her best to keep up with a fast pace beside her mom.

Sophie and Louis had always been that way. A little much. Not just for Violet and Clementine, but for most people, they stayed friends because they had genuinely had a bond at some stage, but as they grew older it just faded away more.

It almost felt like as soon as they had their baby or as soon as they got further along in the pregnancy - Violet and Clementine's family didn't matter. 

Violet sighed before she realized just how much stuff Mila had piled into her small cart. Things that weren't needed at the moment. Violet could see a large variety of items - from diapers to cotton wipes to lady necessity's to other various items, Violet could basically tell that Mila wasn't messing around when it came to helping her mom.

"Don't run too fast Mi, you might fall and hurt your little cutie face," Violet giggled, grabbing the neck of the harness as Mila now toddled in front of her excitedly.

She's gonna fall~ Violet could hear her wife's voice in her head, and it made her grin. She had a picture in her mind of her and Clementine the next time they came to the grocery store, baby Molly in her carrier on the brunette's chest, Mila excited and clinging to the brunette as she desperately tried to get a look at the sleeping baby, it was a dream, but one that had the potential of coming true.

"Momma?"

"Yeah, Mila?" Violet asked, reaching the girl at last and taking the item from her hand. Violet examined it before smiling and chuckling.  
"Who's this for? I think you've got enough toys my little muffin, your rooms gonna be overflowing."

"Mama."

"Is this for mama?" Violet questioned and her smile grew bigger as Mila nodded. Violet's heart clenched in her chest and she stuffed the toy into the small shopping cart for Mila, who was more than excited about helping out her mom.  
"She's gonna love it, bub, let's go take it to her."

Mila and Violet picked up everything else that they needed, going nearly over their budget but still managing to stay within the boundaries. They paid for everything and without crossing paths with Sophie and Louis again, headed home.

~~~~~~~

The day went fast, Violet, Mila and Brody had made sure Molly's bed was all set for her and that everything in the house was clean, before they both took Mila for a short walk so she could get some fresh air. Mila was safe with Brody, and thanks to Violet, she knew that now.

Despite having a fun walk, it was also tiresome for Mila's little legs, and so she went to bed earlier than ever.  
Violet rubbed Mila's back as she swung her back and forth slowly, humming to her as she watched her sleepy form finally drift off.

"Goodnight Mimi," Violet smiled tiredly as she pressed a kiss to her forehead before laying her into her bed, not pulling the blanket over her as it was already too warm in the home.

She left the room, walking to the living room where Brody sat, and spoke with a sigh. "I'm going into the hospital now, if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back soon and she'll go back to sleep. But check her diaper, too."

"Will do," The auburn haired girl smiled a small smile, "Are you sure you should go now? Maybe have a nap, you look real tired."

"This is my life now, Clem probably needs a nap, I can deal with it." Violet smiled half-heartedly, "I'll see you later, keep me updated."

"I will."

~~~~~

"Hey," Violet was quiet as she walked into the room, kissing her wife's cheek and dropping the new items on the floor beside the bed as the brunette shifted slightly to sit up straighter.

"Did you bring me deodorant?" She questioned the blonde, barely even acknowledging her.

Violet nodded, crouching down to take out the deodorant from the bag, she stood up and passed it to her wife.  
"Your welcome."

"Thanks, this should help, I wish I could have a shower," She smiled, settling back against her pillow, she left the deodorant on the bedside table before looking at her tired wife and sighing in a guilty manner.  
"You look exhausted. Did you get any sleep? You said you would."

"I had a nap, I'm okay, how are you feeling? Where's Molly?" Violet asked, looking around the room as if she were searching for their baby.

Clementine rolled her eyes at the blonde who now leaned forward and dropped a kiss against her lips, "They've taken her for a check-up, they couldn't do it in here because of how freakishly tiny it is. It's just cause she was so early, they want to make sure she can really go home tomorrow."

"Annnnd how are you feeling?" Violet asked as she slid her fingers between her wife's and came closer, facing almost touching. "You had a nightmare last night."

Clementine nodded, "I did."

"About?"

"Surgeries. Babies. Mila..." She went quiet for a moment, and Violet worried.

"What about Mila?"

"You were at her gravestone in my nightmare," She replied quietly, "I just, it's just a dream, I'm just recovering from drugs and stuff, it just worried me."

Violet frowned, pressing a kiss to her wife's temple as the grip on her hand became somewhat tighter.  
"I love you, everything's gonna be okay, you hear me?"

"I hear you," She replied with a smile as the door opened and a nurse walked in with Molly bundled up in her arms yet again, both women turning to see her.

"Five whole pounds," The woman said as she gave the girl back to her moms who eagerly took her, Violet being the first.to hold her, "She's perfectly healthy."

"Nothing's wrong?" Violet questioned, pressing a kiss to the girls cheek as she held her in her arms, swaying softly like she did with Mila.

"Absolutely nothing," The woman replied, "Good to go tomorrow, so get lots a rest. Have you got kids at home?"

"We've got a daughter," Violet replied, "And this girl." She grinned as looked down at the small girl in her arms, holding her tiny hand gently, "She's so small, how the hell is she ours? She's tiny,"

"She looks just like you," Clementine informed her wife as the nurse left the room, finding that the family needed some time alone. "She's got your face. Got your eyes, nose, skin, she's exactly what I needed, a mini you to hold in my arms when you go on business trips."

"She's so soft," Violet was whispering, "I don't know how I feel about taking her home. She might feel safer here."

"Too late," The brunette grinned broadly at the idea of finally taking Molly home with them, something they'd waited so long for, "How's Mila? How's she feeling about Molly?"

"She's confused. She was expecting you to come in behind me when I got home, I think, she's just very... she's clingy and doesn't know what's happening. I don't know if she's ever seen a baby before, that should be interesting," Violet chuckled as she eased herself onto the bed, sitting beside her wife so they could look at Molly together.

"Surely she's seen a baby having been in foster care?"

"I don't think so, the homes she was in were only fit for one baby at a time, she would've been that one baby," Violet explained, "I just hope her dad doesn't come near us."

"He won't. Mila's birth family live all the way across the country... actually no, her mom wasn't American, was she? Pretty sure they said she was from someplace else."

"Her moms not gonna be a problem, Clem," Violet said quietly, "We need to apply for adoption soon. I don't want there to be any chance of him getting her back. She's too perfect for foster homes and, and... deadbeat dad's, she needs to grow up surrounded by love,"

"Violet," The brunette began softly, she sat up and eased towards her, wrapping her arms around her body and resting her chin on her shoulder as she looked at Molly, "They're not going to take Mila away from us. Not unless we get arrested or something like that. Mila's not going to suffer like you did, you didn't deserve what happened to you, so I need you to work with me to make sure it doesn't happen to her either. Okay?"

"The foster homes were really bad back then," She whispered, "Really, really bad, they all were."

"Different times. Things change. Me and you wouldn't have even been able to get married twenty years ago, let alone have babies, but things have come along really well. Foster care isn't a prison anymore," She explained as she patted her wife's abs, "You turned out okay."

"I know I did, but Molly didn't, neither did any of the other girls at the home. They suffered more often than not, it can't happen to Mila."

"And it won't," She whispered, hugging her tightly. "We'll all be a family of four tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Yeah. I like that. All four of us," Violet smiled at Molly's sleeping form in her arms. She was excited to open the next chapter of her life.

~~~~~

"Be careful," Violet scolded her wife as she grabbed Molly's car seat from the car, the brunette standing beside her. Violet closed over the door once Molly was safely in her possession, before scolding her wife again.  
"Get inside!" She ordered, her wife laughing as she began to walk up the steps of the porch.

Violet didn't have time to open the door as Brody had done it first, Mila rushed out of the door on her knees and raced towards the brunette, wrapping around her legs tightly.  
"Mama!" She cried desperate, "Mama!"

"Hey bunny," Clementine greeted softly, "I can't hold you right now, but we can go inside, momma and I have a surprise for you,"

Mila nodded and was careful as she scooted away from the brunettes leg, racing back inside on her knees. Clementine giggled and followed her in, Brody greeting her and giving her a short hug before Violet and Molly were inside.

"Hey, Mila, come here," Clementine patted the empty space beside her on the sofa. Mila crawled up with the help of Brody, scooting towards her mom for a snuggle immediately.

Violet left Molly's car seat on the table in front of the two, a blanket covering her for the moment, she had to wait for her wife to explain it to the girl.

"I had to go to the hospital a few days ago, after your birthday party, you remember?"

Mila didn't seem to be listening, she was instead curling up against the brunette and snuggling closer in a world of her own. Violet, Brody and Clementine giggled, before deciding just to show Molly to Mila.

Violet pulled away the blanket that covered the top of the car seat, revealing the sleeping girl inside of it. She watched Brody gasp and then waited for Mila's reaction to it.

Mila furrowed her eyebrows at the small girl, and buried herself deeper against Clementine as if she was scared. She looked to Violet confusedly before looking back at Molly, catching a glimpse of her moving hand for a moment.

"There's nothing to be scared of," Violet said softly to the small girl, "This is Mama's baby, Mi, this is the baby in Mama's tummy but she's out now. She's not scary, all she does it sleep and eat."

"Mama," Mila repeated in a whisper, burying deeper against Clementine.

Clementine laughed at her reaction, rubbing at her arm in a soothing manner before kissing her head, "She'll understand eventually. She's still little, Vi," She told her wife who nodded and looked at Molly with a grin.

"What do you think, Brody?"

"She's perfect, looks a lot like you."

"You think?"

"I know." She smiled wholeheartedly as Clementine rubbed Mila's arms and Violet stared at Molly, finally a family at last.


	14. why do bad things always happen to us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet and Clementine finally get to see Lee again after many years, and he finally gets to meet their family.

Molly's first week at home. What a tough week it had been. Mila's second week at home? More or less the same. Mila still wasn't used to being around her, and wouldn't allow her mom's to be alone with her, she'd always cling at Clementine's leg when she had to change her or sit on Violet's knee when she was around the baby girl.

She just couldn't understand why this screaming, tiny creature was all of a sudden taking her mommies away from her. Who could blame her?

Mila's clinginess only got harder to manage as she seemed to have contracted the flu, most likely from Brody, who got it from Marlon. Now Violet and Clementine sure did have a lot on their plate, trying to separate Mila from Molly so Molly didn't get sick and trying to comfort Mila and trying to make time for each other amongst trying to deal with both the girls, in general, it was just a lot.

But Violet still made time to go to the store and retrieve anything needed for her precious girls. Nothing could compete with her family, regardless of how tough they were to take care of, she would always be the one to do it.

Violet and Clementine had also been contacted, informed that Lee would be released from prison within the next month, and the pressure was sure as hell on.

A lot had changed since he left. Would he even still trust them the way he did?

They'd gotten married, got a house, had jobs, lost their baby, and were now planning on adopting a little girl and had just become moms to a baby girl.  
It was going to be a lot to take in.

Violet pushed open the door, huffing greatly as she walked into the small home, lit up by the battery powered lamp in the corner and only that. She closed it behind her, putting the bag neatly by the door before stopping and staring at the sight in front of her. 

She fumed.

"Clementine, put her down!" She scolded her wife, taking a few steps towards her wife to whisk Mila from her arms.  
"You're not supposed to be lifting anything heavier than Molly. You could pop a stitch, don't you realize how serious that is?" She sighed stressfully, brushing through Mila's hair as she now sat on her hip.

Clementine huffed and crossed her arms, "I haven't held her in so long, I miss holding her,"

"I know you do, but don't... don't be stupid. You know better than to do that," Violet grunted with furrowed eyebrows and the brunette could suddenly sense that something wasn't quite right with her wife. She reached out slowly, patting Mila's head before moving closer to wrap her arms around Violet, Mila pressed between them.

"Sorry for being silly."

"No, I'm sorry for getting mad, you just, I get worried." Violet said exasperatedly, "I'm under a lot of stress and... I feel bad for saying that because you've literally just had a baby, what right do I have to be stressed out?"

"You've got just as much a right as me," She said as she settled her head on the blonde's shoulder, basking in the comfort she provided for a few moments before a cry from their bedroom could be heard.  
"Duty calls."

"Mila needs a bath anyway," Violet sighed, kissing her cheek, "Go get that baby,"

The brunette smiled as she walked away, and Violet's eyes followed her as she did so. She grinned widely at her, noting that she didn't take her eyes off of her before escaping down the hall. Violet was lost in her own little world by this stage, only being pulled out when the girl in her arms coughed.

"Are you still stuffed up?" She questioned, brushing away tears in her eyes before frowning, "Let's get you into a nice warm bath, huh baby girl? You need a bath."

Violet took Mila into the bathroom, opening the door before she flicked on the light. Naturally, it would take her eyes a moment to adjust to the lighting, but it seemed to take longer today.  
Still, Violet pursued and shrugged it off, getting Mila undressed and into a warm bath as soon as possible.

Violet sighed, easing on to her knees beside the tub, she took the sponge and began to drape it over Mila's skin lazily as the small girl grew fascinated with the bubbles. Normally, Violet would blow bubbles for the little girl and play with her, but today neither of them were feeling well.

Violet stopped leaning against the bath lazily and sat up slightly before catching an image in the corner of her eye.  
Clementine, standing at the door with Molly in her arms and swaying softly. Violet lips turnt into a soft smile.

"Are you gonna come in?" She questioned the two of them, patting a space beside her on the mat. The brunette walked a few steps in and eased on to the floor beside her wife, cradling Molly close whilst leaning her head on Violet's shoulder.

Violet peeked slightly, looking at the girl in her wife's arms and breaking, "She's hungry, huh?"

"Yeah. Though I'm still not used to this. I think I prefer giving it to her in a bottle," She chuckled, resting her face in the crook of her wife's neck and breathing in her scent.  
"You look tired."

"I am," Violet admitted, "I get paid tomorrow and I'm just worried, you know? I feel better once I've got the money. I think I'm coming down with a cold, though."

"We're all gonna be sick by the end of the week." Clementine sighed, "Well, at least we're all together, eh?"

"Yeah, at least we're all together," Violet smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her wife's head. They waited a while until Mila decided she'd had enough of the bath, and then Violet took her out and dressed her and all four of them did what they did best.

They slept.

Or, rather, two of them slept.

Violet lay Molly in her bassinet, Clementine read Mila a story, all was perfect at last. Once both the younger girls had fallen asleep, both of the wife's fell back on to their bed with a great, tired huff. Violet rotated slightly so her wife could wrap her arms around her waist and she sighed.

"Bed. My favorite place in the entire world." Clementine sighed, burying her face against the blonde's chest, Violet rubbed up and down her back.

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

"I would say a solid twenty seven minutes, then it was on and off for a bit. Then I had to get up because I physically can't sleep with my stomach the way it is," Clementine explained to her wife.

Violet sighed, her eyes closed.  
"I think I got two hours."

"Lucky."

"Then Mila had a nightmare. And I had to change her sheets. And she wouldn't go back to sleep in her bed, so we watched cartoons for a while. I don't get how she could have so much energy in the middle of the night, she was bouncing and singing and I was so freaking tired but she just refused to go to bed, point blank."

"I know," Clementine sighed as she caressed her wife's skin, slipping her hand beneath her shirt, "I can't wait until I'm healed."

"Slow down there, girlfriend, it's only been two weeks."

"Fourteen days too many." She growled, nuzzling further into Violet's chest and humming quietly. "We should close our eyes for a while, Molly won't stay asleep long."

"We should..."

"How are you feeling today?" Clementine then asked, pressing a kiss to Violet's neck, "You seemed tense when you came back from the store."

"Because you were about to pick up Mila."

"Still," She insisted, rotating in her arms to rest her head on her wife's chest and look up at her. "I want to know if you're feeling stressed."

"You shouldn't lie on your stomach."

"I'm going to lie on my stomach until you tell me the truth."

Violet sighed, resting her hands on her wife's back and rubbing her carefully, "I'm just not feeling well. It's lack of sleep, I know it is, it's the same as it was when I first got my job. I'll be okay."

Clementine studied her wife's face, trying to figure out if she was lying or not before she spoke. "I can get up with Molly tonight. You've been up with her the past three nights, it's my turn."

"I like getting up with her, Clem, I want to spend time with her before I go back to work. She's my baby girl. I love the little faces she makes when she's drinking from her bottle. I love her scent and her cute little baldy head, I want to get up with her."

"Just for tonight."

"No." Violet shook her head, pressing her lips to her wife's forehead, "Me and you, right now? We're going to sleep. And sleep we shall stay. For a whole fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen? Fuck, what are we waiting for! Let's go!" The brunette enthused as Violet eased her off of her body, wrapping an arm around Clementine as she lay on her back beside her now. Violet lips tenderly pressed to her ear and she sighed with contentment.

"Love you, Clem."

"Love you, Vi."

As they settled into each other's arms, both finally closing eyes and relaxing, a grumble could be heard from the corner of the room in the form of a cry. Clementine huffed and rolled awkwardly to stand up before Violet carefully pulled her back.

"Don't, she's not hungry, that's just her saying she loves us." She insisted, tiredly hugging onto her wife who pushed her back slightly on the bed before drapping a knot blanket around her body.

"Get some sleep, big baby."

~~~~

"Please stop wiggling, mommy's tired, I just need to get you dressed." Violet sighed as she tried to pull Mila's skirt above her diaper, but Mila continued to kick at her excitedly. Violet sighed and lifted her up on to her shoulder, finally ready to take her to the car.

"Are Molly's bag in the car?" Violet called out to her wife, listening as her own voice bounced against the walls of their home and echoed back to her.

"Yeah, it is," The brunette replied, closing over the door to the hallway as she began to untangle her fingers from her hair. "The shower wasn't the best."

"You look..."

"Like a mess?" She chuckled.

Violet shook her head slowly, "Beautiful." She was captivated by her wife's appearance, even more so when the brunette stepped closer and took hold of her free hand, she leaned forward to kiss her cheek.  
"Always beautiful, since the day I met you."

"And you look exhausted," She whispered, lips fitting nearly against her wife's for only a moment before they were both pulled apart by small hands in a protest.

"No mommy! No!" Mila insisted, falling against Violet's face clumsily and giving her a kiss of her own, "Mama, no."

"She thinks you were eating her momma," Violet chuckled, tiredly sitting Mila up straight as her wife ducked in for one more quick kiss in spite of Mila's protest. Mila whined, rubbing her lips on Violet's cheek in a fast manner.

"Thank you for kisses, very nice," Violet replied, kissing Mila's nose as she protested the kiss and attempted to give her mom more.

"Mila! Can mama have some kisses?" 

Mila grumped, snuggling against Violet who pouted at her wife.  
"Poor Clem. Can I give you a kiss? Mwah," She blew her a kiss, knowing Mila would prevent the real action from occuring. 

Clementine rolled her eyes at her wife's sweet gesture and chuckled.

"Mama loves you, Mi," She whispered, kissing the small girls cheek to help her feel even a little bit better. Mila clung to Violet as Clementine lifted Molly's car seat, having insisted on it, out to the car.  
Violet strapped both Mila and Molly into their respective seats before closing over the door and returning beside her wife in the driver's seat.

She sighed greatly, taking her wife's hand to her lips and kissing it gently before she spoke.  
"Let's go get this old man." She sighed as she started up the car.

"Momma!" Mila cried from the back of the car.

Clementine turned in her seat to the best of her ability and smiled at the girl, "What's wrong, Mi?"

"Bab!"

"She's sleeping, Mila, what do we do when the baby's sleeping?"

Mila copied her mom's action and out her finger over her lip, shushing quietly. Clementine smiled proudly at the little girl and praised her.  
"Good girl, Mila, we'll put a sticker on your chart when you go home. You're getting so good at following rules!"

"Clem," Violet said softly from the front, "Get my phone out of my bag, let her play a game on it or something. If she focuses on Molly, she might get all anxious again."

"Vi," Clementine grinned gently, "Mila's touching her feet." She said quietly, "I want you to see but I don't want you to crash."

"Take a picture! Frame it! Put it on your dumb social media accounts that you're so obsessed with!" Violet insisted excitedly. Clementine reached into her wife's bag and pulled out her phone, pulling up the camera and snapping a quiet picture of Mila, sitting up in her car seat and reaching across to lightly brush at Molly's feet, covered in her onesie, free from the blanket. She didn't manage to get a picture of the sight right after, where Mila pulled the blanket over Molly's feet before sitting back into her seat and grinning at her mom.

"G-Good job?" She asked.

Clementine wiped away a stray tear from her cheek, "Mila you are the sweetest and most precious little girl ever and I love you so much, you hear me? You always do a good job."

"You're so emotional," Violet chuckled.

"I love you, Vi."

"And I love you, my melodramatic babe."

~~~~~~

Violet stopped the car outside the huge building, anxious in herself as they all say now, awaiting Lee's arrival. Both her and Clementine looked over the building nervously, her wife examining it more thoroughly than her.  
"I don't like prisons."

"Who does?"

"Probably the bastards that constantly get thrown back in here. I thought I'd end up here, once."

"I know you did," Clementine replied, reaching out to take her wife's hand for a moment, "but, you didn't, now look, we got those beautiful girls in the back thanks to you."

"Yeah, I guess we do," Violet replied quietly before her wife sat back, letting go of her hand.  
She looked nervous, sitting back in her seat with tense shoulders. Violet frowned and reached out, taking her wife's hand again and rubbing it gently.  
"It's okay, Clem, he's coming home."

"He hasn't got a home to come back to."

"He has us."

"We haven't even got a bed for him, I mean, the couch? Really?" She bit at her lip, "There is not enough space in our house."

"Please don't get upset or worried, this is good. Good things are happening now. We're applying for adoption next month, Molly's here, we're on the waiting list for a bigger home and now Lee's being released, these are all good things!" Violet did her best to convince her wife, but Clementine wasn't so sure.

As she stared out the window silently, she could finally spot her uncle. She felt a surge of both anxiousness and excitement and beeped the horn on the car to catch his attention. When he saw them, he sprinted towards the now chuckling brunette and her wife.

He opened the car door and sat in, having not much more than his clothes with him. Violet looked at Mila, expecting her to be nervous or scared or more likely, both, but she was completely preoccupied with whatever was on her tablet.

"Well, fancy seeing you here," The blonde chuckled as she started up the car again. "How's it feel to be free?"

"Doesn't feel too freeing considering the fact I'm still looking at the big ugly eyesore of a building." He replied as they began to drive away.

Clementine turned around in her seat to speak to him, and also to keep an eye on Mila and Molly.  
"I know you probably don't have much space back there. Our car's pretty small and, well, the girls take up a lot of the space. Mila can't go anywhere without bringing her toys with her, despite the fact she doesn't play with them." She chuckled as she looked at the small girl.

He looked somewhat nervous around her and Clementine softened, "She's gonna love you, you know. Mila's just like me."

"And the small girl?" He asked, realizing he was further away from Molly than anticipated, "You never called me after you had her, I got worried."

"It was a stressful night," Clementine explained, "It wasn't anything like we intended... I'll tell you all about it when we get home." 

"I'm excited to see this home of yours," He replied with a smile.

Clementine was ecstatic at this point, "I'm excited for you to see it, I'm so happy you're home."

The drive home wasn't too long, with Clementine explaining everything about her life to Lee who listened enthusiastically. Violet pulled into the driveway, spotting him looking out the window to see what their home was like almost immediately.

"You guys sure are close to the water. Doesn't it worry you? With Mila being so small and ready to go all the time?" He asked as he unstrapped himself, Violet standing from her seat and going to take Mila out as soon as they got home.

"Mila's very active but she's also a little scaredy cat. She won't try new things. And you'll see, around our porch, Vi actually put up a fence with a gate on it. On warmer days, sometimes Mimi will sit out on her picnic blanket with her blocks and stuffed animals and play while Vi cooks dinner in the kitchen cause she can just open the window and peak out at her, need be."

"That's real smart!" He replied, unstrapping himself before Mila began to kick her legs beside him and whine.

"Mama! Mama!" She whined to be pulled out from her seat. Lee reached over her quietly and unstrapped her seat, somewhat cautious but also extremely nervous. Mila calmed down almost instantly, hopping from her seat.

Clementine grinned from the front of the car, "Told you she'd like you."

Clementine hopped out of the car, Mila after her and Lee following. By now, Violet had already taken Molly inside and out of the cold, leaving the gate and door open for her wife and family to follow. She tenderly took Mila's hand, leasing her inside.

"This place looks pretty big," Lee commented as he walked up the steps of the porch, closing the gate behind him without being ordered.

"Don't be fooled." Violet replied, "The biggest room in the house is our bedroom. And it's also at the very back of the house. The girls are gonna have to share a room when Molly gets bigger and there's hardly any space to breathe." The blonde finished as he closed the door behind himself, Violet now taking Molly from her seat. 

"I'm taking the sofa, then."

"Wasn't an option I'm afraid, my friend," she replied as she softly pried Molly's lips open with her bottle, watching carefully as she took it in between her lips. Violet grinned.  
"That's my Molly, my baby girl."

"We are supposed to be getting a bigger home," Clementine chirped as she walked into the room, piles of pillows in her hands and Mila toddling behind her nervously. The small girl hid behind the wall at the archway to the hallway, looking at the man shyly.

"We've been on the list for a while, though. We found out that we'd have Mila for another year, so we contacted them about a house for better accommodation as her and Molly get older, and they put us on a "list". We have looked into apartments, though."

Violet nodded, still looking at the baby in her arms, "Our old one had two rooms, but they were huge in comparison to this place. This is a nice house, for a couple, who can afford to add extensions. We can't afford that."

He nodded understandingly before looking at Mila and speaking, "You guys are adopting her?"

"We are."

"Good. Cause she's attached to you. Can't leave her now."

"Never would've even crossed my mind as an option, leaving her," The blonde replied, "Mila's just as much our daughter as Molly is. You don't have to make them to be their parents. You just have to love them."

"True."

"I'm gonna order pizza," The brunette chimed in happily, "Get these baby's to bed and get some food on the table. It's time to catch up, what do you say?"

"We're in!"

~~~~~~

"Violet wore the cutest little oversized hoodie when we first met. And to think it was in summer, too!" The brunette giggled, taking her wife's arms and rubbing at it with her hand before pressing her lips to it, a hand patting her wife's body.

"She did, you'd wanna watch out, it won't be long before little Molly's wearing oversized hoodies and being a little grump like Vi," He chuckled, taking the mug to his lips and sipping it.

"Molly's not a grumpy baby, she's very well behaved, only cries when she's hungry. Speaking of which, that should be any time now..."

Violet smiled, lips meeting her wife's forehead as her and Lee continued to talk about nothing in particular. Violet was over the moon to have him back, to say the least, though she did wish she could just go to bed at this stage. She didn't need to relive every single second of her life with him, especially since he'd been there for most of it.

Small legs toddled into the room, Mila standing nervously outside the archway to the kitchen. Violet noticed her almost immediately and slipped away from her wife for a moment, the brunette's eyes following her as she went out to the girl.

"It's bed time, monkey," Violet said, reaching down to pick up the small girl. Mila clung to Violet, arms around her neck and rubbing her tired cheek against the blonde. Violet smiled, rubbing her back. "Let's get you back to bed, yeah?"

Walking through the living room and down the hall, Violet managed to get to Mila's room but the small girl protested.

"Mama..."

"You want mama instead?"

Mila nodded.

"That's okay, we can get mama. Can I just check baby first? Is that okay?" Violet asked as she walked into the room, slowly peaking over Molly's bassinet, Mila copied her actions.

"Bab' sleeping."

"Yeah, she is," Violet smiled, closing the door as she felt her arm become weak under Mila's body. 

Violet suddenly didn't feel very well as she began to sweat, she moved down the hall and into the living room, thankful to find her wife and Lee almost immediately.

"Clem," Violet heaved, "Take Mila, take," 

"Vi? What's wrong, what's wrong?!" The brunette asked, taking Mila in her arms, she reached out one free arm and held her wife's shoulder, "Baby, what is it?"

Violet shook her head, unable to speak, she felt her legs unable to hold her as she collapsed to the carpet flooring beneath her, landing awkwardly.

Clementine passed Mila, who was now sobbing, to Lee and quickly scooted down to her wife, she took Violet's hand and checked her pulse as tears started to stream her face.

"C-Call an ambulance, I think, she's, she's had a heart attack," She managed to get out between fresh sobs as he left to get her phone and call the ambulance, she stayed beside her wife, stroking her hair with her thumb as she lay unconscious in front of her.

Why did bad things always happen to them?


	15. please, not now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine deals with the aftermath of Violet's attack, along with her diagnosis. But things only get worse when she finds out that Molly may have the gene, too...

Sliding her fingers through her wife's, the brunette lay her head on the bed beside her and sniffled softly as she looked up at her face, eyes closed and damaged, she wondered if she would ever see those green orbs again.

Or if they'd ever see her again.

She let go of a deep breath. "What about her memory? Will she remember me? Our daughters?" Her mind went blank of Violet for only a brief moment as she thought about Molly. The ambulance to the hospital had been so hectic that she'd hardly given her baby girl any thought at all, not realizing that this was the first time she had ever really been away from her. But still, Violet needed her.

"It's common for victims of stroke's to experience memory loss, but it's more like little things. Such as the time, the date, she'll probably need help with spelling her name, which sounds like a huge thing, but she will know her name. She'll just need a reminding every once in a while."

Clementine nodded tearfully, "Will she be able to speak? Or see me?"

"I can't answer that until she wakes up, I'm very sorry," The nurse replied, "The only thing we know for certain right now is that her vestibular system was damaged. Movement will be an issue. Lack of balance. She'll most likely need a wheelchair, but she can make a full recovery."

"She's so, so young... How is this even possible? We were here, in this hospital, just two weeks ago welcoming our baby girl and now... now I might lose her."

"We will have to run more tests but as I said earlier, this could only be an underlying condition, most likely with your wife's heart. We'll know more when she wakes up."

The brunette nodded slightly before her lips turned to a frown, then opening wide, she struggled to speak.  
"If she's got something wrong with her heart, will our daughter need to be tested, too?"

"It would be safer."

She looked over her wife's face again and took in the site of her. The amount of tubes and wires connected her to machines were too much for her to count and her heart ached at the site of it. She didn't even notice the nurse leave the room as she scooted foreward go lay her head against Violet's chest.

"At least you're getting some sleep..." She whispered raspily to her, "but I wish I could feel your arms around me again, I wish we were at home. I want you... I want you to know that I'm not going to leave you alone, not until I know you're awake. You didn't leave my side after surgery, when Molly was born, you're just my absolute... you're my other half and if you don't wake up, I won't recover, please don't leave me alone, I don't want to be alone, I hate being alone." She sniffled softly before taking her wife's hand to her lips and pressing a kiss to it.

"Mila doesn't like me nearly as much as she likes you and she's been abandoned and hurt so many times, you can't leave her, not you. You're what holds us all together. What am I supposed to tell her if you don't wake up, huh? If I tell her you're gone away, she'll think it's her fault, she's too little and Molly, you've had no time with her! We waited so long for this, you can't leave me now... not now... please not now..."

"Clem?" She heard a voice taking her out of her headspace. She sat up slightly, sniffling and looking over at the entrance of the door. 

Brody stood with Molly in her arms and her expression somewhat taken aback at the sight. She took a few steps forward, following the brunette's encouragement, and walked towards the bed.  
"What's going on?" She questioned the distraught woman who broke down at the inquiry, "What's wrong with her? Do they know?"

"She-" Clementine stopped shakily and tried to calm herself down, "She had a stroke."

The auburn haired girls face fell as she looked at her distraught friend and sick friend, both pale and both somewhat unreadable.  
"S-Stroke? So that's means, she... she can't..."

"Walk, or move... speak, even, see... she's..." She swallowed, trying somehow to be positive, "We'll know more when she wakes up."

"I'm so sorry..."

Clementine shook her head slowly. She didn't want apologies. She didn't want pity. She didn't want sadness. She wanted Violet to open her eyes and wrap her arms around her shoulders, to pull her close and kiss her lips once more as she promises her that everything's going to be okay, that they'll grow together and raise their perfect little girls with no issues and that everything would be as it was always supposed to be. But in that moment, what she wanted seemed millions of light years away.

"Where's Mila?" She turned to look at the woman who was quick in passing Molly to her, Clementine's arms wrapped and cradled her baby girl close to her as Brody replied.

"Louis is with her at the play area thing, just a few blocks away. I dropped them there before coming, I don't think Mila needs to see a hospital right now. Especially not Violet..." She said quietly, taking a seat beside the brunette whilst looking at Violet.

Clementine sighed as she got Molly adjusted to her to feed before she spoke again. "How is she? Mila? She was, well... in my arms when it happened..." She uttered guiltily.

Brody rubbed the short girls shoulder and spoke softly, "She's okay. We told her that mommy's not feeling well and that you need to be here for her, but you're coming home. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect... She's doing okay?"

"She's alright for now. But she's gonna need you back, Clem. You can't make her think she's been left behind again, you know that."

"I know," She said, "Just tonight. I'll be home tomorrow. I promise."

"Take your time, don't rush. Just make sure you make time for Mila."

Clementine nodded and looked down at Molly, rubbing her small hand between her thumb and index finger with a broad grin on her face.  
"She looks just like her."

"She does," Brody agreed as she looked at the small girl, "Got those eyes, her nose. She's a mini Vi."

"God, if I lose her,"

"You won't."

"But if I do. How am I supposed to look at Molly when all I see is Violet? And if she dies now... the thought, the idea that she waited so long for our baby and that she'd have only got to spend two weeks with her, it's killing me."

Brody softly put her hand over Clementine's and looked at her sincerely. "Our Violet has lived through so much in her life. She's been beaten up so many times, I don't know how she still looks the way she does. Not to mention what your dad tried to do to her and what Minerva did to her. Violet's so, so strong, and I know being beaten up isn't the equivalent of a stroke, but she's got a better chance at surviving than anyone else."

Clementine nodded, not believing the woman's comments but not feeling energized enough to argue. She looked at Molly, pressing a kiss to her bald head before standing slowly.  
"Thank you, Brody. For bringing Molly and her car seat. Me and her will stay with Vi for the night, don't let Mila have too much sugar, if she gets upset then tell her that mommy's gonna bring her back a new stuffed animal. Okay? Take care of our little girl tonight, Vi would that."

"Please be strong, Clem."

"I am trying my absolute best," She nodded, wrapping one arm around the auburned haired girl.  
"Thank you so much for everything."

"It's no problem."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Give Mila three good night kisses from me, Vi and Molly."

Brody smiled softly, "I will."

~~~~~

Violet was finally waking up. 

This is it, Clementine thought as she strapped Molly safely into her car seat.  
This is where it all goes crashing down, she told herself as she connected Molly's pushchair and car seat, beginning to walk into the hospital and heading to her wife's room.

The hospital hadn't wasted time getting in contact with her over little things. Violet had been twitching in her sleep. By now, she'd been asleep for over twenty four hours and Clementine was more than happy to find she was waking up.

Yet, still tired. She yawned as she rushed out of the elevator, she looked down at Molly who stared at her with wide eyes. It felt weird. Clementine felt as if she didn't even know who her own baby was. Was something wrong with her? She couldn't worry about that as she left Molly's pushchair outside of Violet's room and took Molly in her arms before walking inside.

Inside, a doctor and two nurses crowded around her wife as Clementine held Molly close to her chest and awaited instructions.

"Violet's not fully awake yet, but she's been muttering your name. I think it's best if you're here when she wakes up, ease her in to it, introduce yourself to her. Is that okay with you?" The doctor asked the brunette who nodded and swallowed slightly.

"That's okay with me." She cradled Molly close to her chest and kissed her head, her forehead, her checks and nose to try and limit her anxiety.

The nurse looked at her with a somewhat worried expression. "Ms Everett, would you prefer to be out of the room as your wife wakes up? She'll be slightly delirious and confused, it can be hard to deal with and take in at first, somewhat distressing."

"I'm okay." She insisted, resting Molly's head against her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay, I just need my girls. I'm okay."

"If you're sure."

Clementine positioned herself at her wife's side but couldn't stop the nurse who took Molly from her arms. The woman promised her that she would keep her safe, and Clementine trusted her as she sat carefully at her wife's side and took her hand in her own like she'd done before and rubbed at it slightly.

"How... How do I wake her up?" She questioned nervously.

"Talk to her. She's shown signs of understanding, awareness. She can most likely hear us now."

"Can I be alone with her?"

The doctor went to shake his head before he stopped to think to himself. His colleagues looked at him curiously, before he sighed and nodded.  
"One nurse will have to stay and we'll be on standby right outside." He turned and most of his colleagues went to leave behind him, the nurse holding Molly staying in the room backed into the corner to provide as much privacy as possible.

Clementine was quiet, rubbing the back of her wife's hand with her thumb, trying to keep it quiet but Molly's small coos and gurgles in the background made her smile. She shifted closer on the seat to her wife, and spoke.

"It's time to wake up," She said, rubbing at her arm softly. "Mila needs you. It's bath day. Molly needs a feed and I can't do it. Are you gonna help me, Vi? Hm?" 

She continued for a while, listening to the low moans that rumbled from her wife's throat before finally, an eye opened. Clementine did everything in her power to hide the tears and squeal about to leave her body.  
She looked at the nurse in the corner who nodded more encouragingly, making her continue. 

"That's it, come on," She said, reaching up gently to rub her face, stroking her cheekbone until she saw her green eyes open again, fully, and her heart was swelling with joy.

Violet lay, eyes on the ceiling, still looking asleep for a few seconds and Clementine almost thought that it hadn't worked before she whispered.

"Clem..."

She swallowed as tears filled her eyes, wiping them away with one hand.  
"Do you remember me?"

Violet whimpered, a cry nipped at her nose and she felt her chest become tight as her breath suddenly felt sharp. She tried to speak but words came out as slurred mumbles.

Clementine panicked, taking Violet's hand to her lips and pressing a kiss to it before standing up to tend to her side.  
"Violet, shhhh," She cooed, "I'm here, it's me, it's Clem,"

The nurse left the room for a moment before coming back with the doctor and other nurses, she carefully gave Molly to Clementine before guiding her out of the room.

"Is she in pain?!" The brunette questioned as she was practically pushed out of the room, "Is she alright?!"

"She's most likely just overwhelmed, if you'll take a seat in the waiting area, your friends are waiting there for you." The woman informed the oblivious brunette who cradled Molly close to her as her friends approached.

"Hey," Brody said softly, putting her hands on the brunette's shoulders gently, "how is she doing?" 

Clementine spoke through a broken voice, "She's awake."

"Oh, that's great!" She smiled, looking to Louis who stood slightly aback with Mila beside him.

Clementine shook her head and broke down, tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks before staining the shirt she wore in her pain.  
"It's not, it's not great, she's in pain,"

"Oh, Clem," She sighed, easing the distraught woman on to a chair by the wall and rubbing her arms, she took Molly from her out of fear that her friends shakiness wouldn't help her strength.  
"She's probably just stiff and sore and confused, she's going to be okay."

"You should've heard her," She sobbed, "Her voice," a gasp, "She was all sl-slurred, my poor Vi,"

"But she was talking, that's good, isn't it?"

"I don't, I don't know," She said through a raspy yet voiceless voice. "I just don't know."

Brody ran her hand down through the curly headed womans hair, stroking gently as she lay against her shoulder in a desperate attempt to find any comfort possible as Molly lay in Brody's other arm, almost copying her mom's actions. Meanwhile, Louis and Mila had hardly been noticed by the brunette up until this point.

"Momma," Mila was excited, as she, too, was tired and had only woken from a nap. Louis tried to contain her as she reached out and called out her mom's name, practically bouncing out of his arms at this point.

As if on command, Clementine shot up, finding that her stitches didn't enjoy that, and wiped away all of her tears and sorrow before smiling to her small girl and reaching for her.

"I'm sorry I left you again, Mi," She apologized, kissing Mila's curly head as she clumsily wrapped herself around the brunette's legs for a hug. She giggled.

"Mama sad?"

"No, baby, I'm not sad,"

"Mama, sad,"

"Oh, shhh," She giggled, kissing Mila's head again as she brushed through her hair. "I'm not sad. I'm so happy because I've got you at home, so I know all the important jobs are getting done, isn't that right?"

Mila giggled, sleepy against Clementine's leg, "Mo sleepy?"

"Mo's sleeping, Mila. She knows she's got her big sister protecting her." Clementine sniffled back her excess tears and ran her fingers through Mila's soft curls before the little one spoke once more.

"Night night..."

"Here," Clementine sat up carefully and took Molly in her arms. It was strange. Since Violet getting sick, she'd almost completely forgotten about her own condition. Almost completely forgotten about the fact Molly was less than a month old and extremely vulnerable. Almost completely forgotten everything else in her life that wasn't Violet. 

It was like the world stopped turning without Violet. And suddenly, nothing mattered more than her.

Not even their little girls, the ones they'd worked so hard for? That didn't make sense. And Violet would not stand for that.

Clementine held Molly in front of Mila carefully, smiling at her as Mila leaned closer to kiss her nose.  
"Night night baby," She said quietly, taking her up to her own lips, she kissed her cheek before snuggling her in her arms as she remembered the car seat was left inside the room. Mila whined for Brody, who picked her up and took her to sit on the seat beside Clementine. The small blonde clung to her mom and nuzzled against her before closing her eyes as Molly was rocked to sleep in Clementine's arms.

"How are you feeling?" Brody questioned her.

Clementine sighed and just shook her head, looking down at Molly in her arms.  
"Just want Vi back. You know?"

She nodded sympathetically. "I know."

"What about you, Lou?" Clementine questioned the man who stood against the wall beside Brody, seemingly lost in thought. He turned to look at Clementine, who wore a suspicious and questioning expression her face.  
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with Stella?"

The man shook his head and was silent, before the awkwardness filled the area. Clementine's face softened and lips pursed together as she spoke.  
"What is it? Stella okay?"

"She's fine," He said quietly before averting his gaze and sighing.  
"Sophie and I aren't together anymore."

"What?!"

He nodded. "She left. We had this big argument, a few days after we saw Vi shopping for Molly. I called her out on her behavior, and she and Stella left. I don't know where they are, but I know that it's over."

Clementine's jaw dropped and she looked from Brody to Louis in shock.  
"Vi never told me you met her while she was shopping?"

"It was the day after you had Molly. Me and Sophie ran into her. And I swear, the way she was behaving was intentional, for sure. So I called her out on it and she just told me to get my priorities straight and left, presumably back to her parents place, but she'll be back, I know it. She needs her stuff." Louis said assertively before shifting, "I don't want Sophie, I don't need Sophie, I don't even love Sophie, I just need to be able to see my baby girl. That's all."

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll fight her in court. I'm not letting her take Stella away from me that easy, and don't think I am. This has been a long time coming, I just wish I realized this before I beat the shit out of Minerva, she'll use that in court for sure."

All the adults were silent, Mila now slept with her head on Clementine's lap and Molly slept tucked against her mom's chest with one arm resting beneath her and her mom's other arm tousling Mila's curls.

"I'm going to leave Marlon, too." Brody said confidently as everyone looked at her. She sighed, a smile on her lips.   
"I think I'm ready to deserve somebody better."

"You are."

"Everytime his son comes over, you know, to spend time with him - I'm left to take care of him. And I don't mind, I love the kid, but, he's not mine, he's Marlon's and he's Marlon's responsibility. I'm so glad I never, ever had a baby with him, he can't love anything unless there's something in it for him."

"Good on you, Brody," Louis grinned, putting a hand on her shoulder.

There was silence, again, for a while before all three of them laughed tiredly at the conversation.  
"Wow, Clem's really the only one here with a healthy relationship." Brody expressed.

Clementine nodded in agreement as she stared at Molly, pressing her lips to her forehead. "It's hard to not be healthy when we've been through so much... I know that sounds weird but me and Vi, we just can't not love each other. It's like we've seen each other at these dark points in our lives, when we do fight, we just refer back to them and it levels us out."

"Which is good."

"Yeah, it is, but I still wish we didn't have those dark points." She said with a hint of sadness in her voice before she spoke again. "I gave up my family for her. And you know, I don't regret it, I never could, but I still did it, there's still no going back after that."

They listened.

"When we had the miscarriage, I really thought it was over. In my mind. I thought she wouldn't be able to look at me anymore, blame me even, I know I blamed myself. But you know, she never, ever did. Not once. She never implied that it was my fault, never made me feel guilty. She was just... there. It was like, she needed comfort, and so did I, but neither of us wanted to push each other so she'd do little things like... like take off my socks when I fell asleep in them or tie up my hair when I just felt so unmovable and sad, she'd just do anything for me. The little things made me realize how she'd do anything for me."

Molly shifted in her arms and curled closer. She swore she was awake for a moment before she settled again and she continued talking.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have to give things up sometimes for somebody you love, even family. Especially family. I was, I don't even remember... nineteen? Twenty? God, I'm so tired... anyway, I was young when we got engaged, so was Vi, and when I gave up my family for her, I had to be sure of it because there was no going back. I had to trust her. I had to believe her when she said we'd be alright and I did. And we are. For the most part. But that never would've happened if I hadn't given up my parents for Violet, I never would've had those dark, bonding moments with her, I never would've met Mila, she could've been in an unstable, abusive home her entire life, I never would've had Molly, none of this would ever have happened if I hadn't sacrificed them. If Sophie and Marlon aren't willing to make small sacrifices for you two, then they sure as hell don't make big sacrifices. And you deserve better than that."

"That's wise advice."

"From a grieving mother."

The door to Violet's room opened and all three looked nervous as the doctor stepped out. He looked sorrowful, and Clementine's heart stopped.

"Ms Everett is stable. She's currently unable to speak and has been attached to a feeding tube for the time being. Her eyes don't seem to bad and she can see, she just wants her wife right now."

They all sighed with relief, but Clementine wasn't satisfied.  
"What happened when I left? What was happening to her?"

"Panic attacks are common, especially in situations like these. That's all it was. She will have a little bit of anxiety for the next few months, but as for right now, you can see her."

Clementine stood up, she held Molly to her chest as she walked shakily into the room behind the doctor. 

Violet's eyes were open and every few seconds would roll back into her head as if she were about to pass out, but she'd be okay. Violet's nose was attached to a machine through a tube, as was her mouth, and she looked very, very delirious. She had an IV line, her gown was open and strips of some type of sticky paper were scattered around her belly and chest connecting tubes to her. The blankets were down to her knees and Clementine could almost feel the stiffness her wife was feeling, she would've sworn she were dead if it weren't for the moan that came from her throat as she sat down beside her.

"Hey," She was gentle as she reached out, fitting her hand inside of Violet's. Violet turned her head slowly, eyes rolling and pale as she looked at her wife.   
Clementine felt overwhelmed, before Violet gave her the lightest squeeze she could. She had to look at her wife to figure out if it was intentional, and Violet wore a small smile on her lips to let her know it was.

"Do you remember me?" She went on, "It's me, Clementine. You met me at a football game and I helped you put on face paint when it got all smudged."

Violet squeezed her hand again.

"Do you remember kissing me?"

Violet squeezed.

"Proposing?"

Squeeze.

"Marrying me?"

Violet did her best, she's becoming weaker now. She managed to squeeze her wife's hand tighter, lips curled into a small smile.

"Molly? Mila? Do you remember our girls?"

Violet stopped and she can't decide if it's because she's too weak to go on or if her mind is too blank to remind her who "her girls" are. Clementine huffed quietly and Violet felt guilty when she didn't squeeze back. She blinked, looking at her wife but unable to show her sorrow to her.

"Do you not remember Mila, Vi? Molly?"

Violet's sighed, tired and sore, she reached out to her wife's open palm and managed to lightly rub the letters "M" and "E" into them twice. She wondered if it'd even work, but Clementine clearly understood them as she looked back at her.

"Molly and Mila Everett?"

"Mm," Violet managed to groan quietly. Clementine averted her eyes before Violet squeezed her hand to the best of her ability, and Clementine could see the pain in her wife's expression as she did. She rubbed her hand with her other one and shushed her.

"Don't strain yourself, babe, I know, I know," She told her. Violet very slowly let her grip on her wife's hand softened and she moved her head slightly, trying to look up at the ceiling. Clementine was quiet.

"Can you talk me through it? Is Vi gonna be okay?" She questioned the doctor who stood straight as he spoke.

"Violet can definitely see, but... that doesn't mean much, as bad as it sounds. Victims of strokes sometimes can wake up with the ability to see, then lose it over the coarse of a few days. We'll need to monitor that. She's able to mutter your name, so far nothing else, but it's good that she can say you're name. Once the feeding tube is out, we'll be able to tell you a lot more."

"And her movement?"

He looked unsure, looking down at his clipboard as if he were somewhat nervous.  
"It'll take time, but she's able to move her arms."

"But her legs? Will she be able to walk?"

"I'm afraid not. Once Violet's got enough fluids and is doing better in terms of stiffness, we'll start physio therapy. Chances are, she'll be here for a week or so, she'll then be able to go home but we'll have her referred to a rehabilitation center to help her gaining skills again."

Clementine looked sorrowful at her wife. It was as if she'd forgotten that the blonde could hear - and was aware - of everything going on before she saw the fear in her glossy green eyes. She reached out and folded her fingers through her blonde locks before speaking.  
"Vi's a runner. She loves running. Jogging. Everything like that. She'll be able to do it again, won't she?"

The doctor spoke. "Ms Everett, would you like us to refer you to a support group for family?"

"I have two kids and I'm now the only one working in our house, there's no way I'm making that..."

"It'd be in your best interest to learn about this sort of thing, although it does seem that Violet's gotten over the worst of her condition. If her eyesight stays the way it is, all she'll really need to work on is mobility and memory. What does she work as?"

"She's a website developer. She works from home a lot of the time, but... but..." Her bottom lip trembled, she couldn't look at her wife but Violet squeezed her hand anyway in a reassuring a manner. Clementine did her best to compose herself, but it wasn't easy.  
"I'm just so worried about everything, I just want her to be okay."

Violet could hear and see it all, and did everything that she could to try and reassure her wife, but still felt helpless.

"We'll talk through everything in more detail when Violet's doing better. A nurse will be in to check on her every so often, I'll leave you alone for now," He said quietly before leaving the room.

Clementine turned to look at her wife who let our a sigh, she noted the dark circles around her eyes and Violet's very prominent smile on her lips, paired with pale skin and the tube in her nose. Clementine felt herself grow weak.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so s-sorry, it's all my fault,"

Violet squeezed her wife's hand twice, putting all of her strength into it and trying her best to tell her "no" as she began to sob.

"Molly and you, you've, they're testing you for diseases and - and,"

Violet squeezed at her hand again, "Clem," She mumbled to her wife as best she could, "Mm,"

"I love you," She said through teary eyes, reaching up to brush through her wife's hair and sitting up to kiss her forehead.  
"I'm happy, I'm happy you're back, I love you, I love you so, so much..."


	16. we never thought she'd get here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet's recovery is going well, but with a new threat in the neighborhood, how does Clementine cope without her wife around?

"I'm so proud of you!" Clementine cheered, pressing her lips against her wife's in a quick yet sweet kiss before pulling away and rocking Molly in her arms. "You're such an amazing learner!"

Violet smiled with the corner of her lips before she replied, "Thanks. I still can't feel much." She said, looking down at her leg that lay stretched across the bed. She reached her still limp arm out to trail to skin of it with the tip of her fingers before Clementine took a seat beside her, Violet then sat back against the pillow and Clementine lay Molly on the blonde's semi-bare chest, stroking Molly's bald head and kissing it before she pulled away and propped up the pillow to lean against and look at her wife.

"I'm proud of you, Vi, really. You're such a strong woman. I was so worried about you, but here you are. Talking. Moving. The facilitator even said we can go out today, to the cafe down town or something. Isn't that good?" She asked, eyes flitting over to Mila who sat playing with her tablet on the chair across the room. She smiled as she looked back at Violet, but the blonde didn't share the reaction.

"I just want to go home." Violet admitted, lips pressing to Molly's forehead as she rubbed the back of her head gently, "It's been two weeks. Molly's a month old now and I feel like I've missed out on so much."

Clementine frowned at her wife and watched as she caressed the small girl on her chest.  
"She's still a baby, we still have time. Think of all the progress you've made in just two weeks, Vi! They've transferred you from the hospital to the rehabilitation center, a lot of stroke victims don't get transferred for months."

"I know that. But I shouldn't be a stroke "victim". I just wanna be Molly and Mila's mom."

"Love," The brunette sighed, laying her head against Violet's shoulder and placing her hand on Molly's back. "I know it sucks. I want you home, too. But they're still monitoring your heart, and I don't wanna take you home if you're at risk of a heart attack or a stroke, or worse. And you know I'd always take care of you but I don't think I could deal with you and Molly and Mila. Don't get me wrong, Lee's been great, but Mila's not so accustomed to him. I couldn't make a dinner and feed Molly and have Mila swinging out of my leg because she's nervous of this big man in her home and then worry about you taking a turn and the ambulance not being on time. At least here, I know you're safe."

"I get it," Violet nodded, softly rubbing Molly's soft skin with her thumb in circles. Violet smiled as Molly shifted on her stomach and a small smile appeared on her lips. "She's really getting big."

"The doctor said she weighs nearly eight pounds." Clementine smiled, looking at the small girls sleeping, chubby face. 

Violet smiled, taking her small hand in her own and rubbing it with her thumb. "What a big girl. I bet she'll be walking before her mom. How wild is that?"

"What about you? They said you haven't been eating much." Clementine then cut in, but Violet didn't seem to want to answer. It took a few seconds of Violet rolling her thumb in circles across Molly's palm before she replied.

"The food here tastes like shit. I don't wanna eat it because it makes me feel nauseous."

"Violet if they think you're not eating, then you won't be let out." Clementine said sternly. "They'll think you don't understand how."

"I do but, I don't know, maybe it was the tube in my stomach but I just don't want to eat anything. I find if I eat stuff like, I don't know, toast? That I can't keep it down. It's too hot, there's too many flavors and I always end up getting sick."

"Ewwww," Mila said from the corner, prompting both moms to look over at her in amusement before she sneezed, followed by a cough. Clementine face palmed.

"Mila, honey, you need to cover your mouth when you cough around the Buba," She told the small girl who sniffled and looked back at her tablet, ignoring her mom. Clementine then turned back to look at Violet. "Well, you need to eat something. What do you want?"

"Something cold and easy. Just something I won't have to chew."

"Um… maybe you need to be tube fed again?" She suggested, folding through her wife's hair. 

Violet shook her head. "No. I can feed myself. I'm not a baby."  
Clementine sighed, of course, Violet was stubborn. Yes, she did understand to some extent the feeling of helplessness that her wife must've had. She'd experienced not being able to feed herself for a few days, but recovered in a week. 

Violet's situation was just so uncertain, it was scary.

"Alright then, what do you feel like you could stomach?"

"Yoghurt."

"Like, the chocolate ones you eat at home? Cause Mila's been eating them and I haven't got paid yet so I can't get them."

"Nah, just the cheap ones. The white ones where you scoop in and there's strawberries. I'd eat one of those, preferably without the strawberries." Violet explained to her wife who nodded before raising an eyebrow and speaking.

"And this is because the food makes you feel sick. Not just because you don't like it, right?"

Violet blushed. "Of course not. Logic, only."

Clementine rolled her eyes playfully and rubbed Molly's hand as Violet continued to caress her back, before both heard a cough from the corner of the room again and Mila sniffled. Clementine sighed and stood from the bed, leaning over to Mila to pick her up.

"Come here, let me check your temperature," She said, catching beneath her arms and lifting her to sit on her lap on the bed. Violet watched anxiously.

"Careful, stitches."

Clementine chuckled, "You had a stroke."

"That doesn't make your condition any better."

Clementine placed her palm to Mila's forehead, she could see her teary eyes and runny nose and it was as if Mila were trying not to cough at all around Molly as she jerked slightly. Clementine pursed her lips when she pulled her hand away, and reached across to the nightstand to take out a wet wipe from the pack and wipe down Mila's face and clean her up.

"Poor baby."

"Is she hot?"

"Roasted," She replied, dabbing the cloth on her cheeks before wiping her eyes and nose and throwing the cloth into the trash can beside the bed. She wrapped her arms tightly around Mila's form and pulled her close, rocking her as if she were a baby and kissing her head.  
"She needs some medicine."

Violet nodded in agreement, a hand on the baby's back and the other hand reaching out to limply stroke Mila's hair.  
"What do you think it is?"

Clementine sighed, pulling away slightly to look at the girl in her arms. "Brody took her to one of those toddler play groups. Neither of them liked it and both decided not to go again, but that's the only place she could've gotten it. My poor girl."

"Get some medicine into her and snuggle her on the sofa when you go home."

Clementine pressed her lips to Mila's cheeks and forehead in an attempt to sooth her all while rubbing her back as well.   
"I wasn't planning on leaving you so early today. But if Mila's sick, I need to take care of her. I'm sorry, Vi."

"Don't be. I want my girls to be healthy, them and you will always come first. Louis is coming in later anyway, he's bringing Stella. He wants me to see her in case he loses her in court." 

The brunette frowned, "I hope he'll be okay."

"I hope so, too." Violet agreed.

Clementine stood up with Mila and walked towards the pushchair, where she then began to strap her in, covering her with her blankie and snuggling her favorite stuffed animal to her cheek. She then returned for Molly, carefully taking her from Violet's chest but holding her to her face for a moment so the blonde could feel her soft skin before she, too, was put into her pushchair. Now Violet really felt for her wife.

"Clem, you can't push two pushchairs around." She said, sitting up slightly, "That's too much."

"Hey, you lay back down on that bed right now. I don't need you collapsing on me." The brunette said pointedly at her wife. Violet huffed, grumbling as she lowered herself back down to lay on the mattress. "I can push these, I'm fine."

"But love, I don't want you doing too much. It's not even been six weeks since you had Molly. I should be taking care of you, you should be resting."

"Things happen. Quite frankly, I like being able to do things. Time isn't gonna just stop because we had a baby, Vi. I'm doing okay." She said and Violet looked unsure, still somewhat guilty looking as if she blamed herself for being sick.  
"I miss my partner in crime, though."

"I miss you too." Violet replied, blowing a kiss to Mila in her pushchair. "I'll see you later, momma loves you."

"Bye bye momma!" Mila cheered, following with a cough. Clementine chuckled as they went to leave the room, and suddenly Violet was alone again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clementine sighed as she began to unbutton Mila's dress, lifting it off of the girl and looking at her as she smiled now. The brunette was tired and yawned as she spoke to the smiley toddler.  
"Mila, you need to have a bath tonight. Your hair's getting all fuzzy again," she said, reaching up to flit through her locks. She pressed a kiss to her cheek before helping her up on to the sofa, then draping a light blanket over her body.  
"I'll get you something nice later at the store."

Clementine switched on the TV for Mila before walking back over to Molly, who lay in her swing happily sucking on her pacifier. She sighed, getting down on her knees in front of her and reaching out to softly stroke her cheek. Molly stopped her sucking and smiled slightly at the touch.

Clementine smiled at her before standing up and pressing the music button on Molly's swing. Now she swung into a deep sleep accompanied by a soft lullaby. 

If only that lullaby was sung by her mom, Clementine thought to herself. She'd really give anything to have Violet back. 

The front door opened and she looked to see Lee walking in, a large suitcase in her hand. She furrowed her eyebrows before walking over to the sofa and sitting beside Mila.  
"Where were you?"

"I was at a job interview." He replied, "I think I did well, they said they'll contact me."

She grinned, "That's good."

"Yeah it is. How's Violet?"

"She's okay, she's doing better. Mila's got a cold though, I gave her some medicine and she's going to stay on the sofa for a while." She explained as Lee placed down the suitcase and she eyed him suspiciously. "What's that?"

"Oh, I went around to the police station. They had some things kept over that I didn't take with me when I left prison." He explained to the girl who nodded before looking down at Mila's sleepy face.  
"Have you been listening to the news?"

Clementine looked up at her uncle with furrowed eyebrows as she reached out to stroke Mila's face. She shook her head slowly as her thumb caressed the soft skin, "Why?"

"I was talking to Kenny down at the fisherman's market," He began, "He told me that up in the spice district, you know where he's from? There's been people going around to houses and trying to get in. The police are investigating it, but they think it's connected with children."

"What do you mean? Please don't tell me if it's anything too dark… I'm not sure I can handle that."

"I'm not too sure, Clem. But I just think we should be extra cautious about Mila, especially with her dad the way he is. They moved her out of state so he wouldn't be able to get to her, but still."

Clementine's fear grew now as she looked at Mila, and her anxiety started to skyrocket.  
"What do you mean cautious? What do we do? The spice district isn't too far away, it's… It's like less than a half hour drive!"

"Hey, stop," He began, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to worry you. I just mean we should stop letting Mila play outside without supervision. I know she has her fence and stuff but, you know."

Clementine nodded, though still worried. She continued to stroke Mila's cheek as by now the girl was already fast asleep and dreaming of her mom's.  
"I think she needs to get a rest." Clementine decided, she stood up and was walking towards Mila with the intentions of picking her up when Lee stepped in to stop her.

"I can put her to bed, you go get a rest."

Clementine was about to protest this when Molly shifted in her swing, arching her back and letting out a cry to let her mom know she was awake. The brunette looked exhausted, but nonetheless walked over to the girl and started to take her out.  
"Just get Mila into her room and lay her down. And please, pull her curtains… make sure her windows locked, too. I'll be in my room if you need me." She said, carefully laying Molly against her chest before walking off down the hallway and turning to walk into her bedroom.

She tiredly slumped over to her bed and lay down gently with Molly, prepping her up to feed when her phone pinged. Clementine sighed as tiredness seemed to set in before reaching over a grabbing her phone, swiped it open before rubbing Molly's back as she read the message.

Vi: call me? I miss your voice.

Clementine grinned and at first wasn't going to call her due to her current situation, but then figured, it was her wife! If anyone wouldn't mind her breastfeeding whilst having a conversation, it was her.  
And she pressed the call button, waiting patiently with her head cocked against her shoulder and the phone pressed to her ear, she spoke.

"Hi, you getting a bit cabin sick, Vi?"

"Clem, I'm fucked, I literally can't do anything myself. I threw up and the nurses didn't come to check on me and my arms got stiff so I couldn't call for them and I'm still learning to shout and I just got left here by myself covered in it for like fifteen minutes straight and, and when they came they started babying me again and I just want to go home and be with you-"

"Shhhh," She soothed, shifting slightly in worry. "Are you okay now? What made you get sick?"

"The food. They brought me in food and left it in front of me and I just couldn't. And now they're making me feel like shit for it," Violet was nearly sobbing on the phone now, but Clementine could hear her trying her best to keep the tears away. She softened and grew more worried with each second of silence following her wife's statement.

"Hey, it's okay. Listen, I'm just feeding Molly, but I can come into you when I'm done, is that okay?"

"No, no, honey, I'm okay. I just need to talk to you. I'm just scared, Clem. I can't take staying here much longer "

"I know baby, you'll be home soon enough." She emphasized as she patted Molly's back before she looked down at her.  
"Molly's got this new routine of switching when she's done with one of my boobs and it's not fun."

Violet giggled at that and Clementine could almost see her tearful face as she did so. She softness more, lifting Molly slightly and spoke.  
"Are you sure you don't need me to come into you?"

"I'm sure. How's Mila?"

Clementine groaned, "Poor baby's not well at all. She's eating, but not much. I made her some cheese on toast but she hardly ate any of it, and you know she loves her cheese on toast. She's been overheating since we got home but her temperature isn't worrying yet. I'll keep a close eye on her tonight, I got an appointment for her tomorrow with the doctor but if she's feeling better I might cancel. I don't wanna stress her too much."

"Poor baby."

"She's still herself, though. She's sick, you can tell, but when we got home she kept whining for me to take off her dress so she could dance around in her diaper. You have such an influence on that baby, Vi." She chuckled to herself, and Violet replied with a low, tired hum.  
"Sleepy?"

"Mmm… 

"Get some shut eye, babe. And call me if anything happens again. I'll be in to you as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay… love you, thanks for keeping me safe, Clem."

"I love you too. My hero."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not so sure about this," Violet expressed as Louis gripped on to the bars of her wheelchair, wheeling her towards the play area in the hospital. She shifted uncomfortably, gripping on to her IV as if she were nervous.  
"My stomach hurts. I don't feel comfortable."

"You'll be fine, Vi! It's important for you to spend some time with your family outside of a hospital or rehab room." He said as they wove through the tables and reached the area where Clementine sat with Molly in her sling against her chest and Mila sitting across from her drinking her juice.

"Hey, are you ready for this?" She questioned, leaning down slightly to kiss her wife's head. Violet groaned and looked grumpy as she held her stomach.

"No. I feel sick. I don't wanna do this."

"Oh come on," Clementine pushed, "Mila's so excited to play with you. She hasn't been to a play area with you before. She's filling up on juice to give her energy! And she'll definitely need a diaper change, so you can have fun doing that too."

Violet groaned again, leaning her head back as Louis and Clementine giggled at her. "My stomach hurts."

"Because you don't eat!"

"Ughhhh!" Violet whined, and Louis took her hand to help her out of the chair. He put his hands on her sides to keep her steady and she gripped at his shirt. Violet was breathing heavily.  
"If you drop me, you're dead. Got that?"

"Got it," He said with a grin.

Clementine looked anxious, stroking Molly's back when Violet took a few baby steps forward. Violet wrapped both arms around her wife, who had the proudest smile on her lips as she felt Violet around her.

"You walked!" She cheered, kissing into her wife's cheek and neck, "I," She kissed her cheek, "love," nose, "you," and finally, lips. She pulled away with a bright and broad smile on her lips.

Violet blushed, snuggling against her cheek. "I love you, Clementine Everett. I love you for hyping me up." She said as she pulled away before bending slightly to kiss Molly's head.  
"And my baby girl, she smells so good."

"Of course she does, she's been sleeping with your blankets. She misses you. So does missy over there," Clementine nodded over to Mila who was very preoccupied by whatever she was watching on her tablet as she hadn't paid any attention to the chocolate staining her face.

Violet turned to her daughter slightly and smiled, speaking nervously. "Hey Mimi," She said, taking a few steps towards her with the aid of Louis.

When Mila saw her mom, she almost fell off of the seat as she ran to get to her. Clementine giggled as Violet caught Mila in her arms as carefully as possible, crouching down to hug her close to her chest. Violet kissed her curly head and grinned.

"I missed snuggling you, are you feeling better?" She asked the small girl who nodded in her arms.

Clementine grinned, rubbing Molly's back in a soothing manner as she was about to cry. "Her temperature cooled down overnight and she's not coughing. She said she was feeling up to play time, so I guess you better get going."

Violet looked nervous. She took Mila in her arms, and Louis put his hands on her waist to steady the shaking blonde as she picked the girl up. Violet shook slightly as she cuddled Mila before she got nervous.

"Louis, can you hold my arms?"

"Yeah," He said calmly, supporting Violet's arms in order to help her support Mila. Clementine beamed brightly at the site before looking down at Molly and pressing her lips to her forehead.

"I love your mom, Molly." She said with a wide smile. It was hard to think that two weeks ago, Violet was less than half a breath away from death, and now here she stood with Mila in her arms. 

They never thought she'd get to hold her again. But Violet was stronger than imaginable.

"Let's go play, kiddies!"


	17. It's a roundabout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet is forced to admit something to Clementine, but it comes at a cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, it's another filler chapter, sorry :( the next chapter is going to have some... big, dramatic changes. I hope you enjoy the fluff while it lasts

They say home is where the heart is - and for three weeks, that just wasn't the case for the Everett's. Every night spent without Violet, their beloved ball of grumpiness (and their rock, you know, who held them all together) was a struggle.   
For three weeks, Clementine raised both Mila and Molly on her own, having to adjust to Molly was hard enough but adding Mila's anxiety into the mix made it so much worse.

When she'd bathe Mila, Molly would be hungry and would have to sit in the sling on her chest. 

When she'd feed Molly, Mila would be nervous and need to be held, too, and she'd end up rocking both girls against her chest until they fell to sleep.

And at night, when both girls were asleep, when she'd finally get a chance to sit down and watch some TV, Lee would come home from a hard day of work and need to sleep on the sofa.

She really couldn't win. She felt as if she were nothing without Violet. 

As you can imagine, Clementine's emotions took a turn for the worst as time went on. She began to wonder if she'd ever get her wife back, if she'd ever get her life back. And being honest, she really didn't think she would.  
Violet not being home was hard, but her not being home for the first few weeks of Molly's life was draining emotionally for the entire family. They'd dreamt of having a baby for so long, so many years, so many fails, they'd been through loss and false hope and when they finally, finally, got to bring home their baby girl, Violet had to go again.

And that was probably the hardest part.

Though, it had now been a month since Violet's stroke, and though she had progressed really well at the start, it seemed as though her progress had come to a slow stop now. She wasn't going downhill, just not going up either. It was a struggle, but she knew she could handle it for now.

It was her poor wife who couldn't handle it.

"Violet!" Clementine called out from the bedroom as she searched through it, one arm holding Molly close to her chest. "Where did you put Molly's diaper bag?"

Clementine waited patiently, patting the small girls back as she heard the scraping of Violet's wheels against the floor before she appeared in the doorway, Mila on her lap.   
"It's here on my chair, at the bottom." Violet said, pointing towards the bottom of her chair where there was a very small storage space.

Clementine sighed and walked forwards, bending down to pick it up, she threw it over her shoulder before cradling Molly and swaying slightly.  
"We need to go grocery shopping, Mila's all out of her applesauce." She said, sniffling slightly as she looked down at the girl in her arms.

Violet furrowed her brows and brushed through Mila's hair, kissed her head, before she answered.   
"Were you crying?"

Clementine shook her head, putting a hand to her eyes and wiping them. "I think I'm sick. I feel feverish."

"Well, it's no wonder. You've barely slept since Molly was born, you've been running around after me and Mila, Lee… you were gonna get sick somehow. How about I go shopping and you stay here with Molly?" Violet suggested nervously, somewhat anxious before her wife looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"How do you plan to drive with your paralyzed legs?"

Violet patted Mila's chubby legs, "Mila's an amazing driver. She can take the ground, I'll take the steering wheel. Right, Mi? Do you wanna go on the beep beep?" She asked, tickling the small girls sides and making her giggle. 

"Yah!" Mila cheered putting her hands up in small fists as Violet wheeled herself back, getting herself ready before she raced down the hall with her on her lap.

"Be -" Clementine started, coughing into her hand, "Be careful!"

"Alright baby," Violet giggled, kissing Mila again and turning in her chair to face her wife.  
"Do you wanna leave the kids here with Lee when he gets home? Me and you go shopping? A little alone time." Violet wiggled her brow at her wife who coughed into her fist before furrowing her eyes at her.

"How do we have s-"

Violet freaked out and put her hands over Mila's ears quickly, shushing her wife who then went and rephrased her words.

"Uhm, when and how are we going to um… clean… the car?" She asked, cringing at her words, she rubbed Molly's back silently as Violet hid her laugh from her already grumpy wife.

"Well. We'll figure it out."

"But I'm sick."

"If you're seriously not feeling up to cleaning the car, we could totally wait a while. It's been six weeks, I can wait a couple of days." Violet said, stroking Mila's locks before Mila turned to her with a grumpy expression and furrowed brows like the brunette.

"Help?"

"No, no, honey, we don't need help. You can help Uncle Lee take care of Lolly. Alright? Big sister duties." She grinned, snuggling her closer to her neck. Mila hmph'd at her and snuggled closer to her.

"No Lili, help mama." 

Violet rolled her eyes and stroked her hair again.  
"Grump." She said before Clementine joined the two, sitting on on of Violet legs while Mila occupied the other and Molly lay on the brunette's chest. She pressed a kiss to her wife's cheek as Violet grinned happily.  
"My favorite girls." She said, kissing Clementine, Mila, and finally, Molly.

~~~~~~~

"Huh?" Clementine asked confusedly, staring at the items on her wife's lap. "Since when did we need melted cheese? You hate melted cheese, I hate melted cheese, Lee hates melted cheese."

"Mila saw it on TV and she's been bugging me about trying it. It'll be good for her. We're lucky she's so open to trying good food, Clem. She's not all sugary, you know?" Violet expressed, gently dropping the cheese into the bag beside her chair.

Clementine nodded in agreement, taking the next item out of the cart and putting it into the bags quickly as she desperately wanted to get into the car. "Do you think it's gonna be the same for Molly? The idea of fighting with kids to eat vegetables and healthy stuff scares me."

"Right now she's only on your milk, so I guess if that's sweet, she'll like sweet stuff? I don't know, maybe not, but we know Mi was never breastfed. Perhaps formula fed babies will be healthier… actually no, isn't that the reason doctors advise breastfeeding? I'm not educated enough to talk about this." Violet shrugged, putting the rest of her items in the bag.

"It is sweet."

"...how do you know?"

Honey eyes widened slightly as Violet snickered, "Listen-" she clambered in defense of herself. "I didn't, okay? I promise!"

Violet stifled her laughter, covering her mouth with her hand at her wife's response.  
"Damn Clem, didn't know you were into that stuff. Is that why you wanted me to carry the baby at first? Holy fuck,"

Clementine grumped. "Violet Everett! We are in a public parking lot and you're accusing me of - of, naughty things!" She said defensively, putting the rest of the bags in to the trunk before she closed it over and crossed her arms. "Are you gonna get into the car or not?"

"Are you grumpy?" Violet giggled as her wife wrapped her arms around her waist and began hoisting her up before she put her arms under her knees, carrying her towards the front seat in silence. "Oh baby don't be like that. You know I'm teasing you. I haven't got to tease you in weeks, just let me have it? Pleeeease?" Violet squeezed her wife's cheeks as Clementine set her into the front seat gently.

Clementine huffed, kissing her wife's nose gently before closing over the door and leaving her wife in silence. She went around the back, closing up her wheelchair and awkwardly stuffing it into the back of the car before she returned the shopping cart, then sitting in beside her wife again.

Violet turned as best she could to look at her wife, guilt on her face. "I'm sorry Clem. I was teasing you and it wasn't fair. I'm really sorry."

The brunette replied by knitting her brows together before turning to her head to face her wife, leaning close to her wife and locking lips with her. Violet, although slightly surprised by this, kissed back eagerly. She leaned closer, putting her hands on her wife's cheeks and pulling her closer with a slightly whine before Clementine inevitably pulled away from her, wiping her lips.

Violet's cheeks were flushed and she turned her face slightly. "Tease…"

Clementine giggled. "Sorry, I just had to. It's been a while since I got to passionately kiss you."

"Yeah, so why did you stop?" Violet asked grumpily.

"I need oxygen, Violet."

"Mmm, k," The blonde said before leaning forward again, kissing her wife's lips deeply before trailing down her jaw and attempting to get at her neck.

"Vi - Violet, hey, st-stop," She chuckled softly when her wife finally, reluctantly, pulled away from her neck. "We can't do this in a car."

"Clementine, we have two kids, one of which is a very intelligent little toddler, where else do we get to do this?" Violet said angrily.

"Not in a car. We can get a hotel…"

"With what money?"

"Um… yeah, okay true." Clementine thought to herself. Violet leaned in, pressing kisses to her wife's face and jaw again as Clementine still pondered of somewhere they could do this.  
"We should try a restroom in a restaurant sometime."

"Oh my god-" Violet pulled off of her neck laughing, "When did you get like this? No sex for six weeks and all of a sudden you're acting like some horny ass teenager."

"I'm not that old…"

"Hmm, I don't know…" Violet chuckled, "Twenty five now, huh?" She brushed her cheek lightly with her finger, "Think you've got some grey hairs already."

"Hey!" She hit her hand playfully, "You're older than me, you're almost thirty. I could still go out and get myself a young man or young woman, I'm in my golden years."

"Mmm, yeah, you do that," Violet chuckled, kissing her cheek. "Get you a young man all you want but you'll miss me,"

"I'd rather die than have anyone else but you." Clementine then said, kissing Violet's nose and cuddling her close for a moment. "Once Molly moves into Mila's room, we'll have a lot more time for this, Vi. And I'll feel better. I still feel… stuffed up and, you know, somewhat scared."

Violet looked at her with concern, reaching up to rub her cheeks with her thumb gently. "What does my absolute angel have to be scared of? We've got through the worst parts of our life Clem. If you're worried about sex, then we sure as hell have dealt with the worst blows already, haven't we?"

Clementine nodded solemnly before shaking her head slightly, "I'm sorry Vi, I just,"

"Hey, don't be sorry. It's too early for this stuff, I think." Violet said, nodding slowly as she stared down at her hands, idly tapping her thighs.  
"Can I be honest, Clem?"

Clementine snapped her head in her wife's direction with worry, nodding when the blonde mer her gaze. Violet looked at her, sincerity in her eyes. She took her wife's hand, rubbing her knuckles softly, she spoke.

"I can't feel anything, Clem. Beneath my waist. Nothing. That's how I can handle Mila and you on my lap, because I can't feel anything. It's just numb. My legs aren't mine anymore and it fucking terrifies me."

Clementine's eyes glossed over as she held strongly on to her wife's hand, listening patiently and quietly in case she had something else to add, but Violet just sniffled back her tears.  
"Why did you want to… do this, then?" She asked, biting at her lip nervously.

Violet shrugged, wiping her eyes.  
"I just wanted you to feel good. I didn't want you to lose interest in me, I didn't want you to feel like I wasn't attracted to you because of Molly and stuff… I'm sorry…"

"Don't. Don't be sorry. I'd never lose interest in you, that's such a stupid thing to say! Violet, we've been together since we were kids. I planned my whole life out with you. I didn't have Molly for the sake of having kids, I wouldn't have had kids if I hadn't met you, I wanted to have your kids. As soon as me and you got married, that night when you took care of me and how gentle you were with me, made me realize that i needed to have a family with you because the world needed somebody as gentle as you in it. Everything you do makes me love you more. I'd never ever, ever lose interest in you." She explained to the blonde who was nodding and saying she agreed, but Clementine wasn't buying it.

She held her hand strongly as she spoke.  
"Violet, you don't owe me sex. You don't owe me anything. There's no price you're supposed to pay for marrying me. Everything we do in this relationship and in our family has to be mutual. If the kids are sick and need to go to the doctor, we decide together. Little decisions and big. We make them together and with each other's consent, okay?"

Violet nodded, pecking her wife on the cheek.  
"I'm sorry, I love you."

"I love you too." She sighed, "Let's get home, get these groceries away and get me into bed. I think I'll have to get something off of the doctors tomorrow if this cold doesn't shift, I don't want Mila getting sick."

"Yeah, alright." Violet let go of her wife's hand so she could drive the car.  
"Love you."

~~~~~~~~

The girls got home and the groceries were put away fast by Violet, to the best of her abilities, so Clementine could get some rest. Violet had rocked Molly to sleep and lay her in her bassinet, brushed Mila's teeth and combed her hair before putting her to bed, too. Once all of her girls were taken care of, she finally got herself to bed.

Clementine had been worried about going to bed before Violet, because what if she needed her? But Violet didn't mind, she could do it all herself.

She needed rest. 

Except… she wasn't really getting it.

Violet opened her eyes, peeking at the small face in front of her. Mila's leg was thrown across her hip and she was gnawing on her hand as she stared up at her mommy, Violet reaching out to brush through her hair. 

It was like any other night, except Clementine was sick and Lee wasn't home and Mila hadn't even bothered to get into her own bed. Normally, she'd get into her own bed for a few hours, and then come crawl in beside her mom's during the night, but she'd insisted on sleeping with them tonight, no arguments.

Violet rubbed her thumb over Mila's hair, "Why are you awake, honey?" She whispered to her. "It's only around five… three hours left of snooze, baby girl." She said, inching closer to kiss her on the head. "Get some sleep?"

Mila shook her head, nuzzling into Violet's chest. "Hug,"

Violet sighed, stroking her hair as she lay against her. "Something on your mind, Mimi? Are you worried?"

Mila nodded.

"Headache?"

Nodded.

"Nightmare?"

"Momma," She whispered, "Breakie?"

"It's too early," Violet replied, kissing her head again. "How about me and you go watch some cartoons and we can talk about your nightmare? Does that sound okay?"

Mila nodded, slinking through the sheets, she managed to pull herself off of the bed and clumsily clamber to her feet. Violet grinned, the bedroom door was open, so she wouldn't have trouble with that.  
"You go out baby, I gotta get my chair," She told the small girl who then followed her orders and left into the hallway, she crawled towards her building blocks in the hallway and started to play quietly. It was insane to the blonde that the small girl had so much energy.

Violet sat on the edge of her bed, slowly lifting herself on to weak legs. She felt around for a moment before finding her wheelchair, grabbed the handle and from there she found the area and sat down on to it. Once she was down, Violet sighed out of exhaustion and looked at her wife, still asleep, her back facing her. Violet frowned at the sniffles and nasally breathing emitting from her throat and nose, reminding her of the earlier days wen Clementine was pregnant with Molly. She'd hardly ever been sick before getting pregnant, but here she was.

Violet wheeled herself closer and reached out, gripped the edge of the blankets, and threw them to cover her wife's back. It was still dark outside by now, though it wasn't late at all. Violet smiled at her wife's form before wheeling herself out of the room and into the hallway, closing the door behind her. 

Violet patted her thighs for Mila before stopping. She looked down at her legs and frowned once she realized she couldn't feel her fingers against her skin. She shook off the sensation before patting her thighs again.

"Hey Mi, come here to momma," She grinned. Mila crawled towards the blonde and pulled herself up, Violet reached down to pick her up and sat her on her lap before kissing her temple and wheeling towards the living room.

Violet let Mila down carefully, sitting her on the sofa and huffing, she lay back slightly afterward. "God, you're heavy on your poor mama." She grinned, reaching for the remote controller and taking it. She switched the TV on for the girl before wheeling backwards to attempt to sit beside Mila.

"Hey, Mi. Can momma have some cuddles?" She asked the girl who scooted closer on her bottom to her, leaning over to cuddle her mom as best she could before Violet pulled her on to her lap.  
She stroked her hair, humming softly to her.  
"What was your nightmare about sweetie?"

"Um, big house… momma's gone." She said in her sweet baby voice that made Violet's heart melt.

"Momma's still here, baby. I promise." She hummed before being pulled out of her thoughts by somebody standing in the doorway.

"Why are you two up?"

"Why are you up?" Violet retorted, "It's too early, you're sick."

"I can't sleep without you." She said, lazing over to the seat and sitting down beside Mila sluggishly. "it's almost six in the morning, Vi. You should get some rest."

"All I do is rest. I wanna spend some time with you both," Violet grinned, cuddling Mila before laying back in her chair and grinning as Clementine took up the remote and began to sift through the channels.

"What are we watching girlies?" She questioned, lips quirked together as she flicked on a movie. "Mulan?"

"Nooooo!" Mila whined in response, prompting Clementine to quickly change the channel.

"God, you're so dramatic." The brunette replied, shaking her head. "You know what? It's almost six in the morning, Molly's asleep and shouldn't be up for another two or three hours, Lee's not home until this evening. This is our first time together, just the three of us, in weeks. We're going to eat popcorn and watch a movie together. It's decided."

"Jesus." Violet said laughing. "I thought you were about to announce something to us. But yeah that's a good idea." She grinned brightly at her wife who stood up from the sofa and started to walk off to the kitchen.

"Popcorn time!"


	18. i made a mistake, i fucked up, what's new?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet and Clementine receive possibly the worst news you can receive when you have a newborn, a toddler foster daughter, and a disabled wife.
> 
> Oh, and no money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all. Sorry I've been so lacking with updates, I've been dealing with stuff and I'm kind of in a weird place mentally. I hope this suffices. thank u

Clementine stood tiredly, holding the piece of paper in her hand and reading the words over and over again. She felt her heart stop, but wasn't sure how to react, and so she sighed and ran her hands through her hair with tears in her eyes.

It was then that Violet wheeled herself closer to her wife, trying to see what was on the paper, but Clementine snapped it away to bed chest. Violet furrowed her brows confusedly at her wife.

Clementine sighed. "Violet. It's the landlord."

"Yeah?"

She closed her eyes tightly before she spoke, bottom lip trembling. Her voice was practically empty when she spoke, which worried Violet.  
"It's an eviction notice. They want us out by next week."

Violet's eyes widened before she shook her head. She couldn't process the words her wife said.  
"No, no, they can't, they can't!"

Clementine nodded with her eyes closed as she tried to keep her tears at bay.  
"They can. And they have." She passed the letter to her wife, watching as Violet snatched it and read over it with an angry expression.  
"This is fucked."

"They can't evict us." Violet continued. "I'm recovering from a stroke, Molly's not even two months old, Mila needs stability! They can't evict us!"

"Yes, they can!" Clementine said loudly, snatching the paper away from her wife. "Stop yelling, Violet, I don't want to worry Mila."

"You're going to have to go down to the landlords office and get us more time. We can't be out in a week, not with Molly, not with me."

"Violet, give me a second to think!"

"Clem, you need to go down there!"

"I know!'

"What's going on?" Lee asked as he opened the door to the home, Clementine holding the letter against her chest, as Violet tightened her robe for her. She knew Clementine hated when her robe was loose. Even if right now things were a little tense, Violet still wouldn't shy away from doing the small things her wife liked.

Clementine and Violet both shared a look of understanding before the brunette tiredly handed the letter to her uncle, who looked visibly confused by it. As he began to read it, Mila came toddling towards the brunette who scooped down and picked her up, rubbing her back as she tiredly lay into her. "They want us gone by the end of next week."

"You paid your rent, didn't you?"

Clementine sighs, standing shakily on her feet before she looks at her wife, still rubbing Mila's back. "A lot's been happening. I know, I know, it was irresponsible of me, but… it's just been hard to keep up with stuff. My brain is fried. I don't even know what day it is today."

Lee nodded and Violet reached out, playing a hand on her wife's side to the best of her abilities from her height. The man read through the rest of the letter before shoving it into his pocket and turning to the door. 

"I'll get this sorted out. See if I can maybe pay them off or at least get you more time. But in the meantime, start looking into places." He said, and as Clementine was about to thank him, Violet cut in.

"We can pay it by ourselves, we don't need charity." She said boldly and her wife threw her head back and groaned.

"No, we can't," She said to the blonde, turning to head back to the kitchen. "Thank you, Lee. We owe you. Come on, let's get Mimi some breakfast," She said, kissing the small girls temple as she walked into the kitchen where she carefully set her into her chair. She heard Violet wheeling towards her before Molly started to cry over the monitor and Violet then went to get her, coming back to her wife with their daughter in her arms.

"We can't have Lee pay for us." Violet said, her wife rolling her eyes as she set the plate of cut up sausages in front of Mila, sitting down beside her and feeding her little bites.

"What do you want me to do, Vi?" The brunette replied annoyed as her wife passed Molly to her. Clementine sighed, setting the small girl up to feed. "I'm fucking tired. The only time I leave this house is to go to work, then I come home and basically have to work again. I feel like a single parent." She said, looking down and brushing through Molly's light wisps of blonde hair.

"I didn't choose to have a stroke, Clem." Violet retorted sourly. "I'm trying my best."

"Your best?" Her wife laughed, "The most you do is feed Molly and change her while I'm at work. When I get home, you hand her back over to me. You act like a babysitter more than a mom." She stated, noting her wife becoming angrier. "You can't even get mad at me because it's true. If you were really trying your best, you would've paid the rent while I was at work or feeding Molly or something. Just think of how easier it'd be if you did small things like that. Give Mila a bath while I'm feeding Molly, pay the rent while I'm getting Mi ready for daycare, get up maybe an hour earlier and make breakfast while I feed and get our daughters ready for school, collect the shit from the mailbox every once in a while, just anything, Vi! Anything!"

Violet rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm going to leave you alone because I can't stand you when you're like this."

"No, you can't stand the fact that I'm right and you're a lazy-"

"Okay! I get it!" She snapped back at her wife, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's just hard to get motivated to do stuff when I can only do so much. You know what I mean?"

Clementine fed Mila another bite of her food before responding to her wife, "Of course I know what you mean Violet, but try see it from my perspective. I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday. For eight hours. I come home. I have to feed Molly, give Mila a bath, feed her, cook dinner, pay shit, then I'm filling out all the paperwork for adopting Mila. It's just hard. I know you're trying, just try harder."

"Ouch."

"Don't give me that. I'm not fighting with the kids in the room." She shook her head, standing up from the table before gripping the sides urgently and digging into the wood with her nails. "Fuck-"

"Are you okay?!" Violet asked worriedly as she tried to get to her wife. Clementine just nodded as she sat back down, rubbing Molly's back as she started to cry.

"I'm exhausted."

Violet sighed, taking the dirty plates towards the sink to the best of her abilities. "Come on love, go back to bed. I got the girls."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can, and yes, you will." Violet said sternly, "Go on, Clem. Can't complain about being tired and then refuse my offer to sleep in a while longer." Violet smiled, "Go get some sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~

Violet sat on the sofa, legs curled to her side and one hand holding Molly's body, the other supporting her head. Mila sat on the floor, playing with building blocks as a movie blared in the background, but Violet was entranced by her younger daughter, complete with green eyes and soft blonde hair like her own.

The blonde smiled, taking her shaky hand and bringing it up to brush over the baby's soft skin of her forehead with her fingertip. She felt as if she'd hardly spent any time with Molly since her stroke and so far she hadn't been able to hold her like this without support, but she was doing well.

"You're so, so beautiful," She said very faintly. Molly lay asleep in her hands, Violet still surprised that she even fit in them, but oh how she'd hate to wake her up. The blonde brought her closer, kissing her forehead before moving away to make sure the infant was still asleep. She then gently kissed her nose and cheeks, grinning brightly.

"Yeah, you just sleep through it. And when you wake up, I'll kiss you even more," She whispered, snuggling her cheek against the girls when the door closed and her wife walked in, tying her hair up. "Hey, did you get some sleep?" Violet asked the brunette who nodded as she checked her phone.

"I need to run and pick up your prescription, you're out tomorrow. Molly needs diapers, too-"

"Clem. Calm down." Violet said, shifting slightly in the sofa, she sat with Molly against her chest now and her wife anxiously looking at her and their daughter. Violet looked at Molly's sleeping face with a smile before looking back at her wife. "We're fine, Clem. I can hold her, I think she's actually helping my strength."

"Just," Her wife sighed, a hand on her chest, "don't walk around with her. I don't want any accidents, Vi." 

"Yeah, I know."

"Lee texted me." Clementine began, "We have until the end of the month to be out."

Violet took a deep breath and let it go. "Yeah, okay. Okay we can do that."

"We can." Her wife nodded in a convincing manner. "And you," the brunette turned to Mila who sat on the carpet, she reached down and picked her up, kissing her nose. "Do you wanna go to the playground today? When grandpa comes back?"

Mila cheered in excitement and Violet chuckled at her wife before Molly let out a cry in her arms, prompting her to rock her body gently.  
"Can me and Molly come to the playground?"

"I dunno," Her wife replied, looking at Mila with a raised eyebrow who giggled and nodded profusely. Clementine smiled at her wife, "I suppose you can."

Violet grinned back, putting her feet on the ground and shakily standing up. She was nervous and her eyes only stayed on Molly, as Clementine's ones roved over her wife. Violet stood up, still shaking as she cradled Molly closer to herself. She turned to look at her wife with a broad smile before noticing tears on her face and panicking.

"Clem? Clem, I'm sorry, Molly's okay, you can take her, I won't do it agai-"

"You're standing up," She said, wiping her eyes. "And holding Molly. You're standing up on your own and that's just, god I've been so worried and stressed and you're standing," She said, walking closer to her wife, she carefully threw her arm around her, not wanting to squish Molly in the process. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, I love you," Violet said, pulling away and cupping her cheek with one hand as the other supported Molly. She was finally feeling like herself again.

~~~~~~~~~~

"We are going to have so much fun trying to clean her up after this." Violet chuckled as Mila sat on the sandpit of the playground stuffing the sand down her dress. Clementine was too tired to disapprove at this point, having told the girl to stop multiple times, she just decided to deal with it when they got home.

The brunette took her drink up to her lips and as she was about to take a sip, noticed her youngest daughter staring at her from her wife's arms with open eyes and perhaps the grumpiest, Violet looking face she had ever seen.

"Hello, you," She giggled, prompting Violet to turn around. The blonde looked down at her daughter and chuckled softly at her, her facial expression unmoving. Violet brushed her thumb against Molly's soft cheek but that didn't even detour the girls face from her mother's.

"She's mesmerized by you," Violet said with a laugh, "she knows a pretty lady when she sees one."

"She looks very angry," Her wife replied, sipping her drink as she watched Mila take a fistful of sand and bring it to her lips. "Hey!" She rose her voice, standing up and walking towards the sandpit where she then reached in and picked up the girl. "What have I told you? You don't put stuff in your mouth unless Mama's say so. That's dirty." She explained to the girl who began to whine in her arms, attempting to escape.

"Come on Mila, have something to eat." Violet said, attempting to pick up the small lunchbox with her free hand before immediately regretting it as her arm began to shake. "Fuck, um,"

"I got it," Clementine cut in, picking up the box and giving it to Mila who she sat on the bench beside them. "Try eat some Mila, it's noodles, your favorite."

"Play!" The girl whined, trying to slide out from under the table. Clementine rolled her eyes at the girl before helping her back up.

"Eat five bites and you can go." She said, opening up the box and taking out the fork, she began to twirl the noodles around it before giving the small girl a bite. "There, that's one."

"You know, I've been thinking," Violet began as she tucked Molly's blanket over her chest. "What if we moved back in to the apartment? Louis said it's still up for grabs, for us anyway. It'd work for a while until we get back on our feet."

Clementine looked at her wife. "You can't walk up steps, Vi."

"Elevator?" Violet replied before sighing. "I don't know, Clem, but we aren't gonna get a house within the next week or something. I think for now we should just take that as an offer." She explained to her wife who looked unsure as she sat with Mila on her lap. Clementine looked up at her wife to reply when she noticed a glare on her face, almost matching Molly's, but full of much more rage.

"Vi?"

"No fucking way."

"What? What is it?" She turned around slightly, seeing what her wife saw and turned back. "Vi-"

"Is that her? Is that your mom?"

"Calm down."

Violet stood up shakily, carefully taking a few raged fuelled steps towards Molly's pushchair and strapping her in as she didn't want to injure her. Then the blonde turned around and began to walk towards her mother in law shakily.

"Violet! Stop!" The brunette called after her. The blonde turned to face her wife, looking even more enraged than before, and finally followed back when the brunette ordered her to. When her wife took a seat, Clementine began.  
"You can't go walking off on your own, you had a stroke, we have two kids to take care of, I'm not letting you mess yourself up again for my mom out of all people! Sit there and eat your sandwich."

"B-But, Clem!"

"Eat. Your. Food!" She ordered. Violet begrudgingly took a bite of her sandwich, but didn't stop her rant as she ate.

"I don't want her anywhere near the girls. Who knows what she'll do to them?! She tried to kill you!"

"Yes, I know!" Her wife replied sarcastically, covering Mila's eyes and talking lowly. "But she doesn't even know we're here, so leave it. Once we're done eating we can leav- where are you going?"

Violet, by now, was already less than a few steps away from the woman and Clementine wouldn't have any time to stop her. She shook her, gathering up their things when she heard her wife yelling, another voice, and soon enough everyone was yelling. She sat Mila into her stroller and strapped her up before she began to wheel both pushchairs up the small hill and towards her wife who was now getting yelled at and pushing around the rest of Clementine's family members.

"You're not invited!"

"Lady, God did you a favor by making me have a stroke because Lord knows if I could lift my fist right now it'd be in your skull-

"Violet!" Her wife yelled disapprovingly, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the commotion. "You're going to get yourself arrested! Give it up!" She began to pull her wife out of the park, trying to support her while also pushing the strollers.

Once they got to the carpark, Violet was still ranting and threatening to kill Clementine's family, but was forced to stop when her wife began to cry.

Violet felt a rush of guilt come over her and she stared at her wife before reaching out slowly, "Clem, I'm sorry, they just made me angry-"

"It's fine," She said, opening the car door and beginning to strap Molly in. "it always happens."

"Babe-"

"I said it's fine!"

But Violet knew she had a lot of making up to do.


	19. I'd be lying if I kept hiding the fact that I can't deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violet makes a very hard decision, thinking it's for the best, but is leaving your wife ever for the best?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates everyone.
> 
> I'm not allowed outside until the whole virus blows over as I'm immunocompromised & have many underlying health conditions so I'm stuck inside and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I won't be back in school and it's really getting to me. I can't meet up with any of my friends and it is very demotivating.
> 
> I hope this explains a bit but I'll try my best to update

Violet lifted Mila out of the car, clumsy as she walked into the house behind the smaller girl. Her wife stayed behind, carrying Molly with a solemn look on her face. The blonde couldn't open the door, her hands still unable to grasp most things, instead waiting for her wife to do it.

Clementine looked uneasy as she unlocked the door silently, the only noise being Mila excited to go inside. Violet looked at her wife when the small girl ran into the home and spoke.

"I'm sorry for fighting with your family, Clem, I just got angry, it was wrong."

"You know it was wrong but you still did it," She replied with furrowed eyebrows as her wife swallowed. "Can you imagine how I feel? We're going to be homeless in a few weeks, Vi! We're going to lose Mila if we don't find a home! Maybe even Molly, too! You can't even walk right, I haven't slept in days, and then you go and pull that?! It's like you want me to die of exhaustion!"

"I'm sorry, Clem. I really am. Why don't you go to bed-"

"I'm fucking tired of going to bed, Violet! Anytime I bring up how tired I am, you tell me to go to bed, do you know what happens when I go to bed? The dinner isn't cooked, the house is a mess, Molly needs to be fed and changed and Mila draws on the walls or something, even if I go to bed it's not a rest because I'm only gonna fucking wake up and have more shit to do but you'd never even think about picking up a fucking trashbag and shovelling shit into it, would you?!" She declared as she walked into the house cradling their younger daughter, Violet followed, closing the door behind her and continuing the argument.

"You're acting like all I do is sit around and drink all day, I had a stroke, I'm not doing this just to fucking spite you!" Violet retorted as she began to pick up Mila's stuff off the ground, her wife laughed.

"Yeah, because you're so helpful!"

"Well if I annoy you that much, why don't you just divorce me already?!"

"You know what?? I will! I'll divorce you and take everything you have, not that it's fucking much!" She pointed directly at her wife.

"Good! You divorce me and take the house, I'll take Molly, we'll be fine - without you!" Violet retorted, standing right in front of her wife. Violet narrowed her eyes at her before leaning forward to kiss the finger pointing at her face.   
"Now soften up, princess."

Clementine tried to hide her smile behind the glare she held at her wife, but Violet was able to melt it just as easy as she was able to tell it was there. The brunette started to smile and shook her head before walking to the hallway.

"I'm gonna put Molly down for a nap, clean up."

"Of course, your highness!" Violet replied.

"Thin ice, Vi! Thin ice!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Violet had swept the floors and dusted every corner of their small home by the time her wife was back. Mila was napping, Molly was napping and finally - they had a moment to themselves. 

Clementine looked at the room curiously when she left the bedroom before a smile broke out on her face and she looked at her wife. "How'd you manage this?"

"I'm disabled, not incompetent." Violet replied as her wife wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her to lay back on her on the couch. Violet wheezed as she fell into her, snuggling her cheek against her wife's. "I'm sorry for earlier."

"So am I. I'd never divorce you, I haven't got the money to."

They both laughed as Clementine's arms rested in a slink around the blonde before they were silent again, the only noise heard was their breathing.  
Violet swallowed dryly. 

"Do you ever think about it, though? Like, seriously? Do you ever think about leaving me?"

Clementine was quiet.

"You're my daughter's mother. My daughter who I carried, specifically for you. You got me out of a shitty home. You made me realize that love wasn't what I was taught it was. I married you in secret and gave up my entire family so I could be happy with you. Now, in what world does that mean I'd want to leave you? What you did today with my family was stupid and you know that, but the fact you're still willing to stand up for me after all these years proves to me that you'll always love me. So no. I don't ever think about leaving you, and I never will."

Violet grinned. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank yourself," She said, kissing the top of her wife's head before resting her head against the sofa. "We need to pay our hospital bills."

"We literally can't." Violet said. "We don't have enough anymore. We're bled dry."

"And our adoption fees."

Violet inhaled deeply before exhaling again. "I have three dollars in cash in my wallet. We are so screwed!"

Clementine scratched at her wife's scalp gently as she got lost in her thoughts, trying to find the right words to phrase what she had to say.  
"Well I was thinking of applying for a carers benefit for you."

Violet furrowed her eyebrows. "Would that work?"

"If I quit my job to take care of you full time? Yeah, it'd work."

Violet felt uncomfortable as she shifted in her position to the best of her ability to look up at her wife. "Quitting your job seems like a big risk, Clem."

She nodded. "It is. But you're making money. And the benefit is enough to at least pay rent. If I were to get it today, I'd be able to pay the rent twice over for this place."

"But do you really wanna quit?"

"No… but we could lie?"

Violet sat up, with the help of her wife, her legs still not her own as they fell over the side of the sofa and she stared at her wife. "We could go to jail, Clem. I'm not going to lie about that kind of stuff. What about the people who need it?"

"We need it. We have a baby to look after, who might have a heart condition like you, we have a toddler to adopt and we need to be the ones to adopt her because she thinks we're her parents and we can't hurt her like that! We need a car that can properly accommodate your wheelchair! We need to make sure we have the funds to get you a new wheelchair if you need it, crutches for when you start walking again, we need to put food on the table, we need to pay rent, buy clothes, we need a lot of things, Vi! And these are necessities, not just wants. I'm serious about this."

Violet shook her head, "I just, I grew up poor, Clem, I'm used to this, I couldn't steal from anyone else. People really need it-"

"We need it!" She replied sharply, "How many times have you walked out that door and wondered if we'd come home to find our stuff being thrown into the back of a truck? How many times have you made sure to wear your most comfortable clothes just in case that's all you had left if they took our stuff? We need this, Vi, please! The girls deserve lives. One's not like ours. I don't want Molly to grow up thinking we didn't at least try to give her a good life."

"Yeah, you'd rather her grow up like I did, with her parents in prison."

She glared, crossing her arms. "Even if we did go to prison, it'd only be for a year or two. Five, at most. It's a minor crime, I'm not asking you to rob a bank or kill somebody with me! Just… bend the truth a little so the girls can get a good start to life…"

"Oh my god," Violet eased herself up and gripped the wall, she faced her wife, "Would you listen to yourself?! Only a year or two? The girl's would be put into foster care! We mightn't even get them back! I don't want somebody else to raise our daughter's! Money isn't everything, it doesn't equate happiness! Drop it. I won't argue anymore."

"How do you suggest we get the money to rent a house, then?"

Violet sighed. "I don't know. Clem. I don't fucking know. But I'm not going to do that, that's out of line."

The brunette sat back, thinking about her idea and trying to plan it out quickly in her brain, trying to find some way to convince her wife that this was what they needed, and that this was the only way.

"Louis would do it with me."

"And?" Violet said. "Then great, you and Louis go to jail together. I, disabled, will take care of our newborn and toddler. Great plan, Clem!" Violet said before reaching for her crutch that leant against the wall, she took it and used it as she made her way to the kitchen, her wife followed.

"Look, we need money and we need it fast. We don't get paid for another two weeks and that won't be enough to keep us going. Can we at least take out a loan?" The brunette asked.

"A loan?! We'll never be able to pay it back!" Violet hounded, "We're poor. We can't pay loans back. But we will not steal from anyone else."

"Violet stop shouting before you have a heart attack!" She said sternly, making her wife calm down before she went on. "Well, if you won't do it, then I will." She then added, walking over to the coatrack to find her jacket. "I don't need you, I can fool the government on my own."

Violet rolled her eyes, leaning against the wall with her arms awkwardly crossed. "You're not going to fool the government."

"How do you know?!"

"Because that's the coat you wear when you're going out walking. You don't ever wear it unless you're going for a walk. Have fun, stay safe." Violet waved her off. "Criminal."

Clementine stopped what she was doing and turned to look at her wife.   
"We need money."

"I know." Violet said with a sigh before meeting her eyes. "Go clear your mind, we can talk it out when you come back."

"Fine."

"Love you?"

A glare as she put on her coat, opening the door, she muttered. "I love you too…"

~~~~~~~~~~

Violet's arms were shaking as she rested Molly against her chest, closing her eyes as she lay in her bed. Ideas of money, how to get it, where to get it and who to get it from filled the blonde's mind. Visions and pictures, wonders of how the girls would ever survive plagued her thoughts and Violet found that for the first time in months, all she was thinking about was money.

Up until Mila, all she had thought about was money her entire life, at least until she had something better to think about. 

As Violet went over what she planned to say when her wife came home, she felt sick with anxiety. Everything seemed to be blurry and not make much sense but she hoped, that by proposing this new… idea, that it'd at least help Clementine to focus on the important things.

Violet held Molly's foot between her thumb and index finger as she brushed her nose against her head, taking in the scent for one last time. Molly was always quiet, she was good, she wasn't like Violet at all, so the blonde had told herself. She was always going to be better than Violet - which is why it needed to happen.

The door opened and Violet could hear it from the bed. She kissed Molly's forehead before shifting slightly to lay her down on the bed surrounded by pillows. Violet kept her finger between her daughter's for a moment before she had to pull it away, standing up and grabbing her crutch, she closed over the door as she made her way to the main part of the house in time to see her wife kicking off her shoes, seeming to be in a better mood.

"Hey," The brunette greeted with a grin as she took off her rain covered jacket and hung it up, ignoring the water spilling from it. "I was thinking of making some pasta for dinner. Mila's still asleep, I take it?"

Violet nodded but didn't speak as her arms stayed crossed, she leaned against the frame of the hallway and watched her wife. "Clem,"

"Hm?"

"I… I've been thinking."

"About what I said? Earlier? Look, I was being stupid. I'm just desperate to solve all our problems, but it's not worth losing you or the girls over." She said, practically skipping over to give the blonde a kiss. When she pulled away, she noticed Violet sniffle slightly and soon noticed the red puffiness beneath her eyes. "Were you… crying?"

"I think we need some space." Violet blurted out, her hand shaking as she barely dabbed the tears under her eyes away. Clementine looked shocked but nodded slowly.

"Yeah, we need space, this house, it's, it's tiny! When we rent somewhere new, we'll make sure to-"

"From each other," Violet corrected. "We need space from each other. The more I think about it, the more nothing feels right anymore,"

"Vi-"

"I don't think we were ready for this. To take on two kids at the same time with no experience. In this house. I don't think we were ready to put ourselves in this position of having two babies to take care of and not enough money to do it. When you got pregnant with Molly, that was a miracle and I don't regret that in the slightest but we are in no way financially stable enough for us all anymore."

"You're leaving me?!"

"No, I'm not." Violet shook her head with teary eyes. "I'm trying to figure everything out. If I go for a while, then you can figure things out for yourself and I won't be in the way anymore."

"The kids! What about them?!"

"I'm not leaving." Violet repeated. "I'll stay with Louis. Focus on my work and maybe take up some part time stuff if I'm able for it. I'll be able to bring us in money if I'm focusing enough and don't feel like I'm in the way."

"So you're going to go and work, leave me alone, so the kids aren't in the way to distract you?" Her wife questioned and Violet just sighed and scoffed.

"All that I can do is fall in blame with you. I offer to help, no it's too hard for me or you already got it, I offer to go away for a while and work hard enough to make us enough money to feed the kids and I'm leaving you - what do you want from me?"

She faced the blonde now and spoke. "I just want my Violet back."

"The one who could walk on her own. The one who could use her arms and didn't slur her speech. The one who could remember things. The one who could see everything clearly and wasn't deaf in one ear, is that what you want back? The one you can sleep with? Is that what you miss, sex? If you miss it so much then go find someone else. I'm done trying to be 'better' for you because I'm not better, I'm not okay, and I'm not going to pretend I am for you. I'm fucked up and tired of this shit. Louis will be here to pick me up in a few minutes, I'm going to pack."

The brunette shook her head as she started to cry, following her wife. "I didn't mean it like that, don't go, please, what about the girls? What about Mila?"

"You can drop them off to me when you're at work."

"Vi, please!"

Violet turned around and faced her wife once more before she started to pack. "I love you so much Clem but I can't stand you right now. This is for the best."

But did she really believe that?


	20. sometimes losing things brings us together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've lost the one thing they needed most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA I'm sorry!!! I'm sorry I left so long! This chapters super short but honestly I've been in such a block and a lot has happened over the past few months that mentally it's been hard to be inspired but I hope this is okay!! Thanks for being patient I won't leave for two months again lmAO

**flashback**

Violet stared at her wife's stomach, gently running her fingers around it in circles as she watched their daughter kick her. The brunette grinned broadly and the blonde chuckled as she cupped her stomach before kissing where their daughter had kicked.

"I love her."

"Me too." The brunette sighed as she out her hand on top of her wife's one. "Did you ever think we'd get here?"

"No..." Violet said, her eyebrows furrowing slightly as she felt their daughter move against her palm. "I thought it was over when the money went."

"I know..." She admitted defeatedly with a sigh before running her fingers through Violet's hair and grabbing her chin with her thumb and index finger, making the blonde look up at her. "But I knew you'd find a solution, you always do."

Violet looked confused for a moment before shaking her head. "No, I don't."

"You found a solution to get me out of jail?"

"That wasn't hard, I had the evidence you hadn't done anything wrong." She shifted onto her elbows to move up beside her wife, kissing her cheek before laying beside her comfortably. "Besides. I knew if I couldn't get you our legally, I'd do it illegally. My criminal."

"Stoooop!"

"Cause mama I'm in love with a criminal~" Violet sang, taking her wife's hand and clasping their fingers together. "And she smells like... olive oil and lavender?" She questioned with a giggle and the brunette who rolled her eyes.

"You smell."

"I know." Violet grinned as Clementine cupped her face, putting her hair behind her ears. "Do you love me anyway?"

"Always. I'll always love you."

-

Violet walked into the home with her suitcase dragging behind her, feet unsteady as she got to the stairs. She had to sit down on the bottom step for a moment to try and mentally regain her thought process as Louis sat down beside her.

"What happened to you guys?" He asked her. Violet shook her head.

"I don't know. I thought it was just stress but all we seem to do is fight lately. Over everything. Money, the kids, who's gonna do what, me not pulling my part, but it's constant. It's like we stop fighting about the kids, we fight about money, stop fighting about money just to fight about me not pulling my part, it's just too much."

"Too much for you?"

"No, for Clem. I don't want to fight with her all the time so I figured leaving for a while would help her clear it up." Violet brushed her fingers through her hair before looking at him. "Do you think I made the wrong decision?"

"Honestly? I don't know. You guys have a baby to take care of. And I mean, from my own situation with Sophie, I wouldn't advise co-parenting with a newborn." He stated as Violet started to think again. 

"We're being evicted." Violet said plainly. "At the end of the month. We're gonna lose Mila. We're going lose Molly. What can we do, now? It's not like the last time we got evicted, that was just us, but now we have the girls and it's... I can't even go out and get a job, can I? It's not like I can go back to work. I know you're trying to help me out and stuff with that, but it's just not working. I swear we paid our rent for the month. I don't understand why we're being evicted."

He looked at her curiously. "Where do you keep your savings?"

"What?"

"You know when you get paid for the month? That goes to the bank. But what about cash? Where do you put that?"

"Cookie jar, usually." Violet said, wincing, she reached out to squeeze her knee as it went numb, "Uh, yeah, it's um, usually put in there. Clem's tips and shit. Why?"

"Maybe somebody's been stealing it?"

"Mila can't reach it."

"Lee?"

Violet furrowed her eyebrows and looked back to her knee. "I don't want to consider that, but I guess it's the only logical answer... It's not me, can't be Clem... But, he wanted to talk to the landlord about it. He went to do it. Why would he do that?"

"Maybe he felt guilty?"

Violet shook her head, looking away, she thought. "I don't know. I'm conflicted."

"I'm not accusing anyone of anything. But you staying away will absolutely not help any-"

Louis was cut off by the blonde's's phone ringing in her jacket pocket. Violet sighed, shaking her head. "I can't get it, can you?"

He nodded and reached into her pocket, taking out the phone, he didn't even tell the blonde who it was before accepting the call and holding it to her ear. Violet scowled at him before hearing her wife's distressed voice on the other line.

"Clem?"

*"Were you here?? Did you come back?"*

"W-What? What are you talking about? I just got to Louis's. What's wrong??"

*"I think somebody was in the fucking house, I, I was out, um, fuck, at the car, Molly was sleeping in her seat and I had the door open and I came back there's, there's shit everywhere, you need to come home!"*

Violet's breath caught in her throat. "I'm on my way."

~~~~~~

Violet got to the house in record time, not even waiting for Louis to stop the car before she opened the door and stumbled out trying to supress her tears. She ran towards the porch just in time to see her wife walk out the door cradling Mila.

"Clem!"

"MOLLY'S GONE!" She practically screamed at the blonde as soon as she got close to her. "Molly, she's, she's gone! Somebody's taken her, somebody's taken our baby, Vi, you need to call the police y-you need to-"

"I'm, okay," Violet fumbled with her pockets, trying to take out her phone but much to her paralyzed self's annoyance, she was unable to get it out. "Oh my god, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"I got it," Louis ran over to assist the blonde, taking out her phone and immediately dialling the emergency number as Clementine took a seat on the floor of the porch sobbing with Mila in her arms.

"I, I can't believe she's," She said in a pained voice, "She was right there and I, I didn't-"

"Fuck this." Violet whispered under her breath before turning to walk down the hill that was the driveway to their home. Clementine stood up and began to follow her, still crying, still holding their foster daughter. 

"W-Where are you-"

"I'm going to find whoever took my fucking daughter! Where do you think I'm going?!"

"C-Can I come?"

"Mimi..." Violet hushed, rushing back towards her wife and taking Mila in her arms. "What were you thinking, shouting in front of her?!" The blonde scolded her wife as she brushed through the young girls hair. "Hey baby, are you okay?"

"Leelee's gone!"

"I know..." Violet whispered, kissing her forehead before walking up to Louis again. She cursed herself for wasting time as he turned off his phone. "We have to go look for her. She's a baby, she's, she's a newborn, anything could've happened to her, we have to go and - and-"

"Get in the car, all of you." He ordered immediately and Violet complied, Clementine and her sitting in the back with Mila on their knees. Louis retrieved her car seat from their car before locking up their house and putting it in, situating Mila into it.  
"We'll find her."

"Just get in the car and fucking drive!" Violet ordered him and he did as told.

Clementine was still panicking beside her wife, Violet unsure of how to comfort her. She had one thing on her mind, taking deep breaths and trying to keep herself from thinking of the worst.

"I should've been watching her." She said, her voice barely a squeak. "Oh Violet, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," Violet uttered, taking her hand and holding it as tight as her weak hand could, "We're going to find Molly and we're going to be together again. Safe. Home. Nobody will ever touch her again."

"W-Will they take her away from us?"

Violet was quiet as she rubbed her thumb over her wife's knuckles. "You're a good mom, Clem. They'll see that."

"I fucking hate myself, I hate myself, how the fuck did I not notice?"

"Don't... Don't hate yourself," Violet said, she was trying hard to convince her wife though she could hardly convince herself. "We're going to get Molly back and stay at Louis's, where we're safe."

"What if we don't get her back, Vi? Nobody takes a baby for something that- that's not evil, I can't even think-"

"Look. Clem. We can only think of positive outcomes right now. We need to get Molly back, thats all, okay?"

She took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hours passed and there was no sign of Molly. The family now sat in Louis's home, awaiting news from the police, who hadn't done much at all. Mila had fallen asleep in one of Louis's spare rooms, and the worried parents could barely blink out of pure worry.

So, when the phone rang, Louis rushed towards it and Clementine and Violet perked up, Violet holding her wife as they listened to him sigh with relief.

"They found her!" He told the pair who immediately started to cry and he stayed on the call, trying to catch the last thing the officer said before he hung up. He turned around and Violet was standing up with the help from her teary eyed wife, both ready to find their daughter.

"Where did they say she was??"

"Somebody dropped her off at the police station in a basket. They said she's unharmed, but they're going to bring her to the hospital anyways. Come on, I'll drive you there." He said.

Within the blink of an eye, Clementine had gotten Mila into the car and they were all finally on their way to find their sweet Molly.

Or were they?


End file.
